四六級(jí)作文—漫畫(huà)作文1?People

arecrossing

thestreet

lookingat

their

cellphones

andusing

walkingsticks

to

see.23開(kāi)頭難出現(xiàn)問(wèn)題：１.有些同學(xué)第一段太過(guò)冗長(zhǎng)，不少同學(xué)直接引用漫畫(huà)原話。２.描述漫畫(huà)時(shí)，有些同學(xué)時(shí)態(tài)使用錯(cuò)誤。

３.有些同學(xué)只是描述了漫畫(huà)但卻沒(méi)有引出漫畫(huà)的內(nèi)涵。4學(xué)生佳作

Nowadays,more

and

more

people

usemobile

phones

without

restraint（無(wú)所忌憚地）.They

often

use

it

in

all

occasions.

Inthe

comic,they

use

the

mobile

phoneswhilecrossing

the

road.

It’s

toocrazy.（顧薇薇）5

From

the

drawing

we

can

easilyidentify

what

the

author

intend

toconvey.

The

increasing

use

ofmobilephones

can

do

harm

to

ourlives.(吳佳鳳）6

As

the

drawing

presents,there

is

a

manwalking

across

the

street

absorbedly（全神貫注地）

focusing

on

his

cell

phone

withoutnoticing

the

surroundings.This

sort

ofphenomenon

is

not

uncommon

insomemetropolis（大都市）,especially

among

theyoungsters.You

should

start

your

essay

with

abrief

description

of

the

picture

and

then

express

your

viewson

the

importance

of

doingsmall

things

before

undertaking

something

big.

You

should

write

atleast120

words

but

no

more

than

180

words.Dad,

I

am

a

bitworriedabout

disposing

ofnuclear

weapon.If

you

canemptythe

dustbin,youcan

doanything.78The

Importance

of

Doing

Small

Things

BeforeUndertaking

Something

BigPara

1This

is

a

thought-provoking（引人深思的）cartoon:a

young

guy

tells

his

father

that

he

is

a

bit

worried

about

disposing

ofnuclear

waste;however,his

father

informs

the

guy

of

a

truth:if

one

can

empty

the

dustbin,

he

can

do

anything(用自己的語(yǔ)言重新陳述）.For

this

part,

you

are

allowed

30

minutesto

write

an

essay,

you

should

start

youressay

with

a

brief

description

of

the

picture

and

then

express

your

views

on

theimportance

of

learning

basic

skills.No

offense,

but

by

thetime

we’re

in

the

jobmarket,

won’t

thatstuff

be

outdated910

With

the

development

of

society,some

students

think

basic

knowledge

isnot

useful.

The

picture

reflects

that

some

students

begin

to

questionthesignificance

of

learning

basicknowledge

and

skills（用自己的語(yǔ)言總結(jié)）.11語(yǔ)言問(wèn)題詞性使用錯(cuò)誤搭配錯(cuò)誤句子成分殘缺中式英語(yǔ)12問(wèn)題一：分不清一些單詞的詞性We

enjoy

the

technology

which

bringusconvenient.(改為

convenience)As

far

as

I

am

concern(+ed),

playphonein

the

class

must

make

students

notpay

attention

to

what

the

teacherssaid.When

you

are

boring（改為bored),youcould

chat

with

your

friends.13問(wèn)題二：搭配錯(cuò)誤

With

the

development

of

scienceandtechnology,more

and

more

mobile

phonesarising（arise一般和problems

搭配）改為

have

beenproduced.We

must

focus

on

reduce

use

cell

phoneeverywhere.（改為focus

onreducingusing)Focus

on

doingReducing

doing14問(wèn)題三：句子成分殘缺

But

many

people

think

thatmobilephone

（is)

harmful,

also

some

peoplethink

that(mobile

phone

is)

good.

(By)Using

the

phone

we

can

read

thenews,

messages

and

playgames.15問(wèn)題四：中式英語(yǔ)

old

persons---改為oldpeople

或

the

elderly16其他問(wèn)題more

and

more

fast

more

and

more（不建議使用）people=an

increasing

number/amountof

pepople

a

growing

number/amount

of

people（推薦使用）17提高篇：用詞應(yīng)具體生動(dòng)With

the

booming(蓬勃發(fā)展）

ofinformation

technology,

variouselectronic

products

have

beenubiquitous(無(wú)處不在）.18大學(xué)英語(yǔ)四級(jí)寫(xiě)作中常用的形容詞替換詞。1明顯的：obvious=apparent=evident=manifest2優(yōu)秀的：excellent=eminent=top=outstanding3驚人的：surprising=amazing=extraordinary=miraculous4消極的，不良的：bad=detrimental=baneful=undesirable5美麗的：beautiful=attractive=gorgeous=eye-catching6積極的，好的：good=beneficial=advantageous7貧窮的：poor=needy=impoverished=poverty-stricken8有活力的：energetic=dynamic=vigorous9健康的：healthy=robust=sound=wholesome10富裕的：rich=wealthy=affluent=well-to-do=well-off11流行的：popular=prevailing=pervasive19Grammar

句子開(kāi)頭不用動(dòng)詞原形而用動(dòng)詞ing形式(祈使句除外）情態(tài)動(dòng)詞后用動(dòng)詞原形介詞后用名詞或動(dòng)詞ing形式（in,on,at,by,for,with，about，into,against…)20論證中出現(xiàn)的問(wèn)題1.論證太單薄，缺乏論據(jù)。2.論證邏輯模糊。提高篇：論證應(yīng)生動(dòng)形象，具有內(nèi)涵關(guān)于basic

skills

重要性的漫畫(huà)范例：

We

can’t

live

without

basicskills.The

building

without

foundation

willcollapse.Basic

skills

usually

reflect

the

wisdomofpeople.(這些范例用詞不難但卻生動(dòng)有力）21