Continuationwriting（4）

“五四三”法則--動作面

（魔力冰激凌）“五四三”法則Mikelickedthelastofthemintchocolatechip

icecream.Itwasalmosttimetoleave.Hejumpedintothecarwithhis

parents

andheadedofftotheOlympic-sized

pool

forthebigswimmeet.Whenhis

race

cameup,Mikewasconfident.Hewasstrongandswift.Mikeclimbedoutofthepool,smiling.Hehadjust

won

firstplace,makinghimthefastestboyinhisagegroup."Congratulations,son,"hisfathersaid.Hismomgavehimahug,eventhoughhewassoakingwet.Aweeklater,itwastimeforanotherswimmeet.Likebefore,Mikedecidedtoenjoyhisfavoriteicecreamflavor.Mikerememberedthatthelasttimehehadwonarace,healsoatemintchocolatechipicecreamfirst.Maybehe'dwinagain.He’staken

firstplace

againinhisrace.Mikewasfeelingprettygood.Asitturnedout,MikedecidedtohavesomemintchocolatechipIcecreambeforeeveryoneofthenextfewswimmeets.Hebegantothinkofitashis

luckycharm.Afterseveralmonthsofplacinginthetoppositionsofeveryraceheswam,Mikewasfeelingunbeatable.Andhewouldn’tadmitit,butallthaticecreamwasaddingafewpoundstohisathleticswimmer'sbuild.Itdidn’ttakelongafterthatforMiketostartcominginsecondplace-andthenthird-andthenlastplaceinhisraces.Theluckymintchocolatechipicecreamhadlostits

magic.Onthedayofhisnextswimmeet,hismothersatdownatthetablewithhim.“Mike,weallloveicecream,butit'snot

healthy

foryourbodytoeatsomuchofit.Maybeit'stimetoquitthesweettreatsforawhile,especiallybeforeyougoswimming.Mikeunwillinglyagreed.Hewenttotheswimmeet,anddidn’t

perform

well.Hisfatherofferedtogorunningwithhimafewdaysaweektohelphimfeelbetterandstrengthenhismuscles.Theextraweightsoondisappeared,andMikefoundhimselfbreathingeasieratswimpractices.It

was

the

last

meet

of

the

season,

and

Mike

wasn’t

sure

what

to

expect.He

felt

healthyagain,but

he

didn’t

know

if

he

still

had

any

speed

in

the

pool.注意：1.續(xù)寫的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個左右；2.請按如下格式在相應(yīng)位置作答。Ashe

dove

into

the

water,he

kicked

his

legs

and

stretched

his

arms

as

far

as

he

could.____________________________His

jaw

dropped

as

he

realized

he

had

beaten

his

own

best

time,and

everyone

else

too.____________________________Mikelickedthelastofthemintchocolatechip

icecream.Itwasalmosttimetoleave.Hejumpedintothecarwithhis

parents

andheadedofftotheOlympic-sized

pool

forthebigswimmeet.Whenhis

race

cameup,Mikewasconfident.Hewasstrongandswift.Mikeclimbedoutofthepool,smiling.Hehadjust

won

firstplace,makinghimthefastestboyinhisagegroup."Congratulations,son,"hisfathersaid.Hismomgavehimahug,eventhoughhewassoakingwet.Aweeklater,itwastimeforanotherswimmeet.Likebefore,Mikedecidedtoenjoyhisfavoriteicecreamflavor.Mikerememberedthatthelasttimehehadwonarace,healsoatemintchocolatechipicecreamfirst.Maybehe'dwinagain.He’staken

firstplace

againinhisrace.Mikewasfeelingprettygood.Asitturnedout,MikedecidedtohavesomemintchocolatechipIcecreambeforeeveryoneofthenextfewswimmeets.Hebegantothinkofitashis

luckycharm.Afterseveralmonthsofplacinginthetoppositionsofeveryraceheswam,Mikewasfeelingunbeatable.Andhewouldn’tadmitit,butallthaticecreamwasaddingafewpoundstohisathleticswimmer'sbuild.Itdidn’ttakelongafterthatforMiketostartcominginsecondplace-andthenthird-andthenlastplaceinhisraces.Theluckymintchocolatechipicecreamhadlostits

magic.Onthedayofhisnextswimmeet,hismothersatdownatthetablewithhim.“Mike,weallloveicecream,butit'snot

healthy

foryourbodytoeatsomuchofit.Maybeit'stimetoquitthesweettreatsforawhile,especiallybeforeyougoswimming.Mikeunwillinglyagreed.Hewenttotheswimmeet,anddidn’t

perform

well.Hisfatherofferedtogorunningwithhimafewdaysaweektohelphimfeelbetterandstrengthenhismuscles.Theextraweightsoondisappeared,andMikefoundhimselfbreathingeasieratswimpractices.It

was

the

last

meet

of

the

season,

and

Mike

wasn’t

sure

what

to

expect.He

felt

healthyagain,but

he

didn’t

know

if

he

still

had

any

speed

in

the

pool.“五四三”法則（一）五R解讀故事1.Readforcharacters3.Readforconflicts2.Readforplots4.Readforemotionalchanges5.ReadforthethemeTruesuccesscomesfromhardworkanddetermination,notfromrelyingonso-called"luckycharms".ConfidenceandJoyDependenceandOverconfidenceDisappointmentandFrustrationHesitationandUncertaintyMike'srelianceona"luckycharm"andreality,andhowheovercomesthisdependency.“五四三”法則（二）四句定框架1.先寫最后一句，即主題句2.再寫銜接句，即第一段的最后一句

Mikewasawarethaticecreamwasneverhisluckycharm.Hisstrongwilltowinwas,instead!Thelast5minutessawhimdashtothefinishlinefirst,followedbytheendoftherace.Ashedoveintothewater,hekickedhislegsandstretchedhisarmsasfarashecould.__________________________________Hisjawdroppedasherealizedhehadbeatenhisownbesttime,andeveryoneelsetoo.____________________________________4.補充完整每段的中間部分3.根據(jù)每段的段首句寫銜接句Heswamforwardwithallhismight,feelingenergizedandfullofconfidence.Gettingoutoftheswimmingpool,hefelttheflowersinhisheartalreadyinbloom.他的心情如何游（三）三大原則1.Action—Response原則一個角色的所言、所行、所感、所想會引起其他角色的一系列反應(yīng)。每段可以有1至2句對話，但是不一定兩個人都要說話，無聲的動作也是一種反應(yīng)。2.Conflict—Solution原則一般而言第二段會有問題的解決方法，但本文和其他高考的讀后續(xù)寫文章出題不一樣，因為解決方法在所給文章中就已經(jīng)有了。同時思考：能否在第一段出現(xiàn)一個問題，然后把它解決了或者沒有解決。一方面是增加看點，另一方面也是給第二段作鋪墊。3.Negative—Positive原則寫作中一定要體現(xiàn)情感的變化，但無論前面是怎樣的變化，最終都應(yīng)該是積極的?！拔逅娜狈▌tPredicttheendingandcomposetheplot(預(yù)測故事走向）04LogicalPlottingwiththegivenkeywords情節(jié)推理和關(guān)鍵詞協(xié)同P1:Ashedoveintothewater,hekickedhislegsandstretchedhisarmsasfarashecould..P2:Hisjawdroppedasherealizedhehadbeatenhisownbesttime,andeveryoneelsetoo.Q1:Didtheswimmeetgosmoothly?(othercompetitors)Q2:WhatdidMikedo?Q3:WhatdidMikefeel?Q4:DidMikewintheswimmeet?

Q1:HowdidMikefeel?Q2:Whatdidhisparentsdoandsay?Q3:WhatdidMikethinkandsay?Q4:Whatdidthestoryintendtotellreaders?主（次）要人物所思所想所感所說所做theracefinish能否在第一段出現(xiàn)一個問題，然后把它解決了或者沒有解決。一方面是增加看點，另一方面也是給第二段作鋪墊。III.ActionScene（動作面）人物+動作鏡頭1:語言描寫(Languagedescription)局部整體鏡頭2:心理描寫(Psychologicaldescription)鏡頭3:神態(tài)描寫(情緒描寫)(Mannerdescription)ActionScene—Languagedescription(語言描寫)主語+謂語(動作A)，說的內(nèi)容(使用非謂語)Herushedawayimmediately.他大聲地喊(shout)：“誰能來救救我??？”Herushedawayimmediately,shoutingloudly,“Whocouldhelpme?”Hisfatherpathimontheshoulder,sayingjokingly,“Hey,whynottryyourfavoriteicecreamandcelebrate?”他的父親拍了拍他的肩膀，開玩笑地說：“嘿，為什么不嘗嘗你最喜歡的冰淇淋慶祝一下呢？”Herushedawayimmediatelyandcouldn’thelpthinking,“Ididn’twanttodie.”ActionScene—Psychologicaldescription(心理描寫)“Icanwintherace,”hemadeuphismind/hesaidtohimself,withhiseyesfixedonthefinishlineforward.“我能贏得這場比賽?！彼露Q心/他對自己說，眼睛緊盯著前方的終點線。Hefixedhiseyesonthefinishlineforward,andmadeuphismind/saidtohimself,“Icanwintherace.”主語+謂語(動作A)，神態(tài)描寫(使用獨立主格結(jié)構(gòu)或者With復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu))Hecriedscaredlyandloudlywithtearsrollingdown.ActionScene--Mannerdescription(神態(tài)描寫)“Thanks,Dad,butIhavegivenuptheicecream.It’snotsuchaluckycharmatall.”Mikereplied

withhiseyesshininglikeadiamond.“謝謝，爸爸，但我已經(jīng)放棄冰淇淋了。它根本不是什么幸運符?！边~克回答道，眼睛像鉆石一樣閃閃發(fā)光。VividActiondescription1.IndividualVerb2.ActionChainAdv(副詞/表示心情類的副詞)/PP(介詞短語)3.ActionScene2.1Coordinateconjunction(并列連詞)2.2Non-infinitiveform(非謂語)3.1Languagedescription(語言描寫)+(非謂語)3.2Psychological(心理)description3.3Manner(神態(tài))description+(With的復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu))Ashedoveintothewater,hekickedhislegsandstretchedhisarmsasfarashecould.

Heswamforwardwithallhismight,feeling

energized

and

fullofconfidence.“Icanwintherace,”hemadeuphismind,withhiseyesfixedonthefinishlineforward.Suddenly,anotherswimmerswampast,sohefelthisheartbeatingfastandhis