讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)微技能

———“說(shuō)”

04/原版小說(shuō)03/四大技巧02/標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)01/注意要點(diǎn)目錄英文原版借鑒

-----LittleWomen

Chapter101Chapter1Playingpilgrams“CHRISTMASwon'tbeChristmaswithoutanypresents,”grumbledJo,lyingontherug.“It'ssodreadfultobepoor!”sighedMeg,lookingdownatherolddress.“Idon'tthinkit'sfairforsomegirlstohaveplentyofprettythings,andothergirlsnothingatall,”addedlittleAmy,withaninjuredsniff.“We'vegotFatherandMotherandeachother,”saidBethcontentedlyfromhercorner.抱怨；嘟囔Thefouryoungfacesonwhichthefirelightshonebright-enedatthecheerfulwords,butdarkenedagainasJosaidsadly,“Wehaven'tgotFather,andshallnothavehimforalongtime.”Shedidn'tsay“perhapsnever,”buteachsilently

addedit,thinkingofFatherfaraway,wherethefightingwas.Nobodyspokeforaminute;thenMegsaidinanalteredtone,“YouknowthereasonMotherproposednothavinganypresentsthisChristmaswasbecauseitisgoingtobeahardwinterforeveryone;andshethinksweoughtnottospendmoneyforpleasure,whenourmenaresufferingsointhearmy.Wecan'tdomuch,butwecanmakeourlittlesacrifices,andoughttodoitgladly.ButIamafraidIdon't.”AndMegshookherhead,asshethoughtregretfullyofalltheprettythingsshewanted.“ButIdon'tthinkthelittleweshouldspendwoulddoanygood.We'veeachgotadollar,andthearmywouldn'tbemuchhelpedbyourgivingthat.IagreenottoexpectanythingfromMotheroryou,butIdowanttobuyUndineandSintramformyself.I'vewanteditsolong,”saidJo,whowasabookworm.“Iplannedtospendmineinnewmusic,”saidBeth,withalittlesigh,whichnooneheardbutthehearthbrushandkettleholder.02對(duì)話描寫(xiě)注意要點(diǎn)

美國(guó)作家兼寫(xiě)作導(dǎo)師GloriaKempton的一番話道出了對(duì)話的重要性:“對(duì)話不僅為頁(yè)面留白，創(chuàng)造視覺(jué)上的吸引力，還令故事中的人物生動(dòng)鮮活，創(chuàng)造情感上的吸引力。故事背景若通過(guò)對(duì)話場(chǎng)景展示，我們會(huì)興趣大增。對(duì)話透露了人物的動(dòng)機(jī)，展現(xiàn)了與其表面活動(dòng)截然相反的目標(biāo)。充滿張力的人物對(duì)話能使讀者了解人物的內(nèi)心世界，并為故事發(fā)展制造懸念。對(duì)話場(chǎng)景經(jīng)展開(kāi)便可加快故事的節(jié)奏。對(duì)話使讀者對(duì)故事背景產(chǎn)生身臨其境之感?！?）對(duì)話描寫(xiě)必須為推動(dòng)故事情節(jié)服務(wù)，是情節(jié)發(fā)展的一個(gè)環(huán)節(jié)，每段出現(xiàn)一兩句即可；2）對(duì)話描寫(xiě)必須反映人物的心理與情感，刻畫(huà)人物的性格；3）對(duì)話描寫(xiě)不宜過(guò)長(zhǎng)，側(cè)重口語(yǔ)化詞匯，避開(kāi)生僻詞匯；4）對(duì)話描寫(xiě)要盡可能結(jié)合動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)，明確對(duì)誰(shuí)說(shuō)，具有畫(huà)面感；5）對(duì)話描寫(xiě)中要學(xué)會(huì)使用幾個(gè)感嘆詞，表示說(shuō)話人的喜、怒、哀、樂(lè)等情緒。02標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)和大小寫(xiě)

準(zhǔn)確標(biāo)點(diǎn)，使人物對(duì)話“完整”1.

對(duì)話標(biāo)簽在前Shesaid,“Iwouldliketogowithyou,butIhaven’tfinishedmyhomework.”2.

對(duì)話標(biāo)簽在后“Iwouldliketogowithyou,butIhaven’tfinishedmyhomework，”shesaid.3.

對(duì)話標(biāo)簽在句子中間“Iwouldliketogowithyou,”shesaid,“butIhaven’tfinishedmyhomework.”（引用內(nèi)容放在sb.said前面時(shí)，引號(hào)內(nèi)不能用句號(hào)結(jié)尾，只能用逗號(hào)，除感嘆號(hào)和問(wèn)號(hào)外。）"Mr.Craven?"Maryaskedinastonishment."Well,Idolikebirds!"Marygrinned.注意：對(duì)話標(biāo)簽在后或者在句子中間時(shí)（第2,3種情況），如果主語(yǔ)是名詞，則可以倒裝。而代詞不可以倒裝，saidshe是錯(cuò)誤的?！癐wouldliketogowithyou,butIhaven’tfinishedmyhomework,”saidEmily（或者Emilysaid.）“Iwouldliketogowithyou,”saidEmily/Emilysaid,“butIhaven’tfinishedmyhomework.”對(duì)話模式舉例1.

"....,"hesaid,

doing

...

--say后接分詞作狀語(yǔ)1)"Ididn'tknowwhatIwasdoing,"shesaid,laughingatthememory.2)"I'llgetussomecoffee,"shesaid,headingforthekitchen.3)"That'snice,"Alexsaidquietly,focusingonhisplate.4)"Veryclever,"saidtheteacher,noddinghisheadasifpleased.5)"Uncle,forgiveme,Ididthat...unintentionally,"hesaid,pointingtothebrokenglass.6)"Wedon'tdoanyharm,"saidtheboy,evidentlyfrightenedbymywords.2.

"...,"hesaid,

as/when/before/asif...

--say后接時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句1)"Watchout!"sheshouted,asthecarstartedtomove.2)"Whatabeauty!"saidthenurseasshecametothedoor.3.

"....,"hesaid,

and

(thenhe)did....--say后接and,先后動(dòng)作或構(gòu)成并列句1)"Goodmorning,children!"saidtheminister,andhekindlyshookhandswithboth.2)"Yes,Ithinkso,"hesaidreluctantly,andleftthestudy.3)"Comehere,"saidthelittleman,andtookhertooneofthecornersofthebuilding.4.

"....,"hesaid,

“...”--say后接要說(shuō)的另一句話1)"Sheisaveryadmirableandexcellentyoungwoman,"saidLily,"andyoumustgoandhelpher."2)"Sinceyoulovehimsowell,"saidtheking,"Iwilltellyousomething.

5.

"....,"saidtheman,

who...

--用定語(yǔ)從句補(bǔ)充說(shuō)明說(shuō)話的人1)"Idon'tknow,"saidZeb,whowasstillconfused.2)"Toyourhealth!"saidMr.White,whoalsoemptiedhisglass,andwipedhismouthwithhishandkerchief.

6.

"....,"hesaid+方式副詞(-ly)或短語(yǔ),

--作狀語(yǔ)修飾say1）"Ofcourse,"Nacyrepliedwithasmile.2）"I'msorry,"shesaidwithasigh.3）"Buttheydon'tunderstandourtalkatall,"saidthedancerwithapuzzledsmile.4）"Natasha,youloveme?"shesaid

inasofttrustfulwhisper.5）"CometoyourPapaatonce,please!"saidshewithastrangelook.對(duì)話描寫(xiě)四個(gè)技巧03細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě)，令人物對(duì)話顯“豐滿”標(biāo)題

以《典范英語(yǔ)10秘密花園》為例，通過(guò)對(duì)話描寫(xiě)的技巧分析和佳句賞析，來(lái)探討和學(xué)習(xí)

人物對(duì)話描寫(xiě)的寫(xiě)作技能，更深層次地把握人物對(duì)話描寫(xiě)的準(zhǔn)確傳神。

(1)Marshachewedherlip."Don'ttellnobodyItoldyouthat,willyou?I'llbeinsuchtroubleifyoudo."(P11)

(2)Colinglaredather."Youdidn’tcometoseeme!"(P50)

(3)"Ishan't!"Marysaid,stungasifshehadbeenaccusedofsomething.(4)"I’vemetDickon!Hebroughtmethingsforthegardon,”shegasped,hurlingherselfintotheirchairatherdiningtable.(P30)(5))"Idon'tlikethemoors,"Marysaidrememberingthebleak,blackwildernesstheyhadcrossedthedaybefore.(P11)“chewedherlip”，用具體動(dòng)作代替nervous具體動(dòng)作代替angryasif虛擬語(yǔ)氣，描繪出了說(shuō)話人當(dāng)時(shí)惱羞成怒的樣子。(4)(5)中都運(yùn)用了現(xiàn)在分詞(-ing)作狀語(yǔ)表示伴隨或原因，描寫(xiě)說(shuō)話人說(shuō)話時(shí)的伴隨動(dòng)作。Waystoexpress“say”morevividlyTip1UsedifferentverbsTip2Useverbs+adv

Tip3Useverbs+prepphraseTip4Useverbs+伴隨狀語(yǔ)（adj,doing,done）

說(shuō)道________回答道________問(wèn)道_________補(bǔ)充說(shuō)_______解釋道________嘆氣地說(shuō)_______

承認(rèn)道_______同意地說(shuō)_______大笑地說(shuō)_______尖叫道_________大聲地吼道________________通知________

承諾________宣布__________

安慰________

道歉________陳述_______低/耳語(yǔ)________

低語(yǔ)/嘟囔_______辯論______抱怨道________

爭(zhēng)論_______說(shuō)服________

shout/yell/roarlaughsayreplyaskaddexplainsighadmitagreescream/exclaiminformcomplaincomfortmurmurpromisewhisperstateannounceapologizeTip1Usedifferentverbsarguepersuadedebate

1)_______________激動(dòng)地說(shuō)

2)said________輕柔地說(shuō)

3)_____________冷靜地說(shuō)

4)replied________________________

不冷不熱地說(shuō)5)answered________膽怯地說(shuō)

6)________________冷冷地回答

timidly

saidexcitedlyrepliedcoldlysaidcalmlyhalfcoldly,halfkindlysoftlyTip2Useverbs+adv

1)saidMr.Wilson_____________________________

一臉嚴(yán)肅地2)hesaid______________________

用一種堅(jiān)定地語(yǔ)調(diào)3)Hesaid__________他慌慌張張地說(shuō)4)shesaid______________________

用一種堅(jiān)定地表情5)Jennylaughed________________興奮地笑了起來(lái)

6)saidthestranger_________________冷笑著說(shuō)7)Sheasked____________________

用一種夢(mèng)幻般地語(yǔ)調(diào)說(shuō)

inadream-likevoiceinaflurrywithaseriouslookonhisfaceinadetermined/firmvoicewithadeterminedlookwithexcitementwithacoldsmileTip3Useverbs+prepphrases

1)saidNewland,__________________

心里暗自高興

2)shebeggedhim,______________________眼睛充滿恐懼3)shesaid,_________________________

眼睛在跳躍著/閃閃4)shemurmured,______________________

又沮喪又擔(dān)憂

upsetandconcernedhereyesdancing/shininghereyesfilledwithfearsecretlydelightedTip4Useverbs+伴隨狀語(yǔ)（adj,doing,done）2023/1/18⑴Ashepassedthemilkontoher,mumsaidthatshehadsomethingforhimtoo.⑵Ashepassedthemilkontoher,mumsaid“Wait,Ihavesomethingforyoutoo.”

④---“Hereyouare.”

(Hepassedthemilkontoher.)⑤---“Wait,Ihavesomethingforyoutoo.”

“Surpriseforyou,dear!”2.

對(duì)話描寫(xiě)過(guò)多，不夠精簡(jiǎn)。3.追求花哨，過(guò)度使用對(duì)話標(biāo)簽“Thatisfantasticnews,”hesaidhappily.此句中完全沒(méi)有必要加上一個(gè)happily來(lái)表達(dá)說(shuō)的方式，因?yàn)榫渲械膄antastic一詞足以說(shuō)明說(shuō)話人了表情，過(guò)度強(qiáng)調(diào)

會(huì)讓讀者的注意力集中在“說(shuō)話的方式”而不是“說(shuō)話的內(nèi)容”。建議改為：“Thatisfantasticnews！”hesaid/screamed/exclaimed.一個(gè)感嘆號(hào)和一個(gè)fantastic已經(jīng)足以讓讀者想象當(dāng)時(shí)的情景。適當(dāng)?shù)摹八囆g(shù)留白”也是需要的，這樣會(huì)留給讀者想象的空間。還有一種避免過(guò)度的dialoguetags的方法是運(yùn)用“動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)”，尤其是表情上動(dòng)作來(lái)取而代之。如：Hereyesreflectedthecandlelightasshesmiledatherson.

“Everyoneisunique.Justfollowyourheartandbeyourself!”當(dāng)她對(duì)兒子微笑時(shí)，她的眼睛反射著燭光?！懊總€(gè)人都是獨(dú)一無(wú)二的。只要跟隨你的心，做你自己！”4.

對(duì)話對(duì)象十分明確，仍使用對(duì)話標(biāo)簽“Itoldyoualready,”Isaid,glaring.評(píng)析：此句貌似豪華，其實(shí)對(duì)話中的主語(yǔ)“I”已經(jīng)清晰地說(shuō)明了說(shuō)話者，完全沒(méi)有必要用對(duì)話標(biāo)簽“Isaid”

來(lái)說(shuō)說(shuō)話對(duì)象。糾正方法：加上一點(diǎn)動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)就可以避免這種錯(cuò)誤，并且提升語(yǔ)言的生動(dòng)性。Iglaredathim.

“Itoldyoualready.”以讀促寫(xiě)情景賞析:Jane和Rochester的經(jīng)典對(duì)白"ItellyouImustgo!"Janeretorted,rousedtosomethinglikepassion(被熱情之類(lèi)的東西喚醒/激起berousedtosth.),"Doyouthink,becauseIampoor,obscure(默默無(wú)聞),plain(長(zhǎng)相平庸),andlittle,Iamsoulessandheartless?”Rochesterwasspeechless,eyebrowsfrowned.“Youthinkwrong!Ihaveasmuchsoulasyou,andfullasmuchheart!"respondedJane,withhereyesfocusedonRochester,expectingthereply.

仿寫(xiě)：阿甘正傳的經(jīng)典片段“Hello.Myname’sForrest.ForrestGump,”Gumpventured,rousedtosomethinglikeinterest.Thewomannoddedwithnoreply,eyesfocusedonherbook.“Doyouwantachocolate?”askedGump,withaboxofchocolatesinhishandandcontinued,”Mymamaalwayssaidlifewaslikeaboxofchocolates.Youneverknowwhatyou’regoingtoeat,”mumbledGump,expectingthereply.引導(dǎo)學(xué)生主動(dòng)積累1."Ishouldn'ttellyouthat!"heblurtedout.

脫口說(shuō)道2."Why,whatonearthdoesthismean,John?"hestammered.結(jié)結(jié)巴巴地3.Isaywithanedgeofbitte