商務英語寫作Chaptertwo

(BusinessEnglishStyle)商務書信的文體風格

好的商務寫作應該體現出語言自然精練、行文流暢、可讀性高的文體風格。商業(yè)書信的寫作必須力求“自然”，不能滿篇都是過時的商業(yè)行話可讀性強自然一、簡練的句子寫（簡練的句子的關鍵在于刪除累贅的詞語）1.刪除重復的詞語和詞綴e.g.Ourreservesofoilarebecomingsmallerandsmaller.

修改后：

→Ourreservesofoilareshrinking.我們的石油儲備在減少。Inaddition,wearealsoincludingacurrentpricelist.

修改后：

→Inaddition,weareincludingacurrentpricelist.此外，我們附上一份現行價目表。Theauditorsusuallyarriveunexpectedly,butwe'llbepreparednomatterwhentheauditorsarrive.

修改后：

→Theauditorsusuallyarriveunexpectedly,butwe'llbepreparednomatterwhentheyarrive.

審計員通常出人意料地到來，但我們不管他們什么時候來都會有準備。2.刪除那些解釋明白無誤事實的詞語

Inthecolorofblue可以簡化為inblue。

intheyearof1995可以簡化為in1995。

Intheintroductionatthebeginningintroduction導言都是在書的開頭的，因此atthebeginning可刪去。3.刪除毫無內容的累贅詞語Themoreyoubuy,theresultisthatasfarasmoneyisconcernedthemoreyouspend.

修改后：

→Themoreyoubuy,themoreyouspend.你買得越多就花錢越多。

（在這個句型中，第二部分就是表示結果，因此沒有必要說theresultisthat。另外，spend暗含的意思就是“花錢”，所以不必要說asfarasmoneyisconcerned。）Intheeventthatyoucanattendthemeeting,planinadvancetooffersomeconcretesuggestionsonhowtoreducethecostandexpenseofovertimeintheOfficeServicesDepartment.

（在這個句子中有很多冗長的短語可以用更簡短的詞來表達，如：intheeventthat=if;planinadvance“plan”

本來就是指事先計劃，因此inadvance（事先、預先）是多余的。Costandexpense在本句中是同義詞，只用其一就夠了。）

修改后：

→Ifyoucanattendthemeeting,plantooffersuggestionsonhowtoreduceovertimeexpenseintheOfficeServicesDepartment.如果你能參加會議，請計劃提出如何削減辦公室服務部開支的建議。4.將從句壓縮成短語，短語壓縮成單詞Thereportthatdiscussedthefiscalcrisiswasreadbybusinessmen,whoshowedgreatinterest.

修改后：

→Thereportonthefiscalcrisiswasreadwithinterestbybusinessmen.商人們興趣盎然地閱讀了那份關于財政危機的報告。

（你可以看出來，修改后的句子是用一個介詞短語onthefiscalcrisis來代替原句中的定語從句thatdiscussedthefiscalcrisis，從而省略了一個詞。）Theemployeewithambitionisinallprobabilitylikelytogetresultsthataregood.

修改后：

→Theambitiousemployeeislikelytogetgoodresults.胸懷大志的雇員有可能獲得好成績。

（原句中的withambition被縮寫成一個形容詞ambitious，另外，inallprobability跟likely的意思一樣，因此可以省略。）ThememothatwaswrittenbyMarygotlost.

修改后：

→ThememobyMarygotlost.瑪麗寫的備忘錄丟了。

ThememowrittenbyMarygotlost.5.將定語從句改為前置定語（前置形容詞）Thisamount,whichisconsideredtobeinsignificant,shouldbewrittenoffasabaddebt.

修改后：

→Thisinsignificantamountshouldbewrittenoffasabaddebt.這筆微不足道的金額應該作為壞賬報廢。。Theworkerswhoproducethemostwillreceivebonuses.

修改后：

→Themostproductiveworkerswillreceivebonuses.生產效率最高的工人會得到獎金。Lessthanhalfthemerchandisethatwasdamagedcouldbesold.

修改后：

→Lessthanhalfthedamagedmerchandisewassalable.損壞的貨物中不到一半可以出售6.用簡單句不用復雜句

Aworldthatisrapidlychangingrequireseducationthatcontinues.

修改后：

→Arapidlychangingworldrequirescontinuingeducation.急遽變化的世界需要人們接受繼續(xù)教育。Abusinessthatislocalisonethatdependsuponcustomerswhoaresteady.

修改后：

→Alocalbusinessdependsonsteadycustomers.地區(qū)性商業(yè)依賴固定的顧客。Communicationis,ofcourse,ofvitalimportancetoanybusinessthatwantstoachieveefficiency.

修改后：

→Communicationisvitaltobusinessefficiency.通訊對于商業(yè)效率是至關重要的。二、避免陳舊的商務用語一些商務英語寫作教材中，我們不時可以看到一些陳舊的商務用語。這些表達方式使你的信函文體顯得古板僵化，而且太正式的語氣也使你和收信人之間的關系疏遠。因此，我們有必要區(qū)別什么是現代常用的商務英語表達方式，什么是古老陳舊的商務套話（commercialese）。

1.開頭部分

2.結尾部分

3.雜項三、在英語中用表示動作的詞和主動語態(tài)寫作使得行文更有力。用表示動作的陳述句來寫，盡量少用therebe句型，例如：Therewerefourcompaniesthatbidforthecontract.

修改后：

→Fourcompaniesbidforthecontract.四家公司投標爭取這項合同。TherewasameetingofthestaffyesterdayinChicago.

修改后：

→ThestaffmetyesterdayinChicago.工作人員昨天在芝加哥開了會。Therearetwointerestingproposalsforalternativeenergysourceswhichdeserveresearchsupport.

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→Twointerestingproposalsforalternativeenergysourcesdeserveresearchsupport.有兩個關于利用替代能源的提議值得給予研究資助。四、使用主動語態(tài)還是被動語態(tài)一般來說，盡量使用主動語態(tài)。這樣使得句子更強有力。只有及物動詞才能在主動語態(tài)和被動語態(tài)之間轉換。例如：Thebrokersoldthestocks.（主動語態(tài)，主語施加動作。）Thestocksweresoldbythebroker.（被動語態(tài)，主語是動作的接受者。）主動語態(tài)更直接、簡短和有力。而被動語態(tài)則是用來陳述客觀科學事實、表示不帶個人感情，或者在不知道動作的執(zhí)行者時用它。.”在下列句子中，使用主動語態(tài)要比使用被動語態(tài)好。

TheaddresswasdeliveredtotheABAbythepresidentlastweek.

修改后：

→ThepresidentaddressedtheABAlastweek.

Thebookswereorderedbyustwomonthsago.

修改后：

→Weorderedthebookstwomonthsago.在下列句子中，被動語態(tài)要比主動語態(tài)好。

Thereporthasbeenfiled.

Thebankwasclosed.

Theletterwasmarked“confidential有些公文式英語過分使用名詞化的動詞，從而使得句子軟弱無力。下面這些名詞后綴表示名詞化的動詞：-ion,-tion,-ing,-ment,-ant,-ent,-ance,-able。請避免使用下面左邊這些名詞化的動詞：

cometoaconclusion－conclude

createanadjustment－adjust

renderassistance－assist

doastudy－study

練習一練習寫簡潔的句子1.刪去下列句子中不必要的成分，把句子改寫得更簡潔。

A1）Shehasresignedfromherpostasinvoiceclerk.

→Shehasresignedasinvoiceclerk.2）Onewayoutofthedifficultystillremainsopen.

→Onewayoutofthedifficultyremainsopen.3）Intheeventofyourwishingmetodoso,Iwillcallonyounextweek.

→Ifyouwishmetodoso,Iwillcallonyounextweek.4）IhavebeenunabletoreplybeforeowingtothefactthatIhaveonlyjustreturnedfromabroad.

→IhavebeenunabletoreplybeforebecauseIhaveonlyjustreturnedfromabroad.6）HisappointmentdatesasandfromMarch1.

→HisappointmentdatesfromMarch1.8）Thetruefactsofthesituationarenotyetinourpossession.

→Thefactsofthesituationarenotyetinourpossession.

B1）Uponexaminingourrecords,itseemsthatyouhaveforgottentofilethepersonaldataformwhichisrequired.

→Wefindthatyouhaveforgottentofiletherequiredpersonaldataform.4）Themanagerwhoismostexperiencedandwiththegreatestefficiency,itseemsobvious,shouldbegivenconsiderationforbeingpromotedfirst.

→Obviously，themostexperiencedandefficientmanagershouldbeconsideredfirstforpromotion.25）Wetrustthatyouwillconcurwithourunderstandingofwhatthebillingstatementshouldbe;however,shouldyourequireadditionalinformation,pleasedonothesitatetocontactus.

→Webelievethatthebillingstatementiscorrect，butfeelfreetocontactusformoreinformation.

或Webelievethebilliscorrect，butcontactusifyouneedmoreinformation.2.改寫下列句子。刪除多余的詞，改正結構錯誤。每道題改寫成一個句子。2）Thefactsarethatweonlysold150Selectrictypewriters,whileunderthenewplan,250machinesweresoldinOctober,andreportsarethat400machineshavebeensoldalreadyinNovember.

→Wesoldonly150SelectrictypewritersinSeptember;butunderthenewplan,wesold250setsinOctoberand400inNovember.7）Themachineiswellworththatcostbecauseithascertaincharacteristicsthatareattractive.Productivitycanbeincreased,forexample,andthemachinehasversatilitythatisgreater.Besides,themachineiseasiertooperate.

→Themachineiscost-effectivebecauseithashigherproductivity,greaterversatilityandiseasiertooperate.15）Withreferencetotheforthcomingholidays,wehaveseenfittomakethefollowingarrangements.

→Wehavemadethefollowingarrangementsforthecomingholidays.練習二寫簡單句：按照指示把下面的句子改寫成簡單句或并列句。1.Theworldcanbedescribedasbeinginastateofflux;thatflux,orcontinuousstateofmovement,isconstant.Itneverchanges.

Onesimplesentence:Theworldisinastateofconstantflux.2.Thefactisthatenvironmentisadaptedtothewantswehave.Inturn,wantsarealteredwithcircumstance.

Onecompoundsentence:Environmentisadaptedtowants,andwantsalterwithenvironment.

3.Ideascomeintoexistence;machinesarecreated;peopleareborn.Allofthesethingsreachfruition,andthentheydie.Afterthattheyarereplacebynewideasandothermachinesandthenextgenerations.

Onesimplesentence:People,ideas,machinesarebornorcreated,reachfruitionanddie,tobereplacedbynewgenerations,newideas,andnewmachines.強勢性意味著在詞或句的排列和分量上要使最重要的思想占最重要的地位,使詞或句子的意義加重或使語句變得有力,從而加深讀者印象。練習三寫強勢句A有時therebe結構是有用的，有時則是多余的。請閱讀下列句子，判斷哪些是合適的，哪些需要刪去therebe結構：1.Thereismuchcontroversyoverthenewtaxlaw.2.ThereisabookbySylviaPorter,HowtoGetMoreforYourMoney,thatwouldinterestyou.

→AbookbySylviaPorter,HowtoGetMoreforYourMoney,wouldinterestyou.3.TherearetwoworksbyrepresentativeAmericaneconomiststobeaddedtothelist.

→TwoworksbyrepresentativeAmericaneconomistsaretobeaddedtothelist.

5.Thereisananswertoproblem.6.Thereareasalesproposalandapersonnelreportontheagenda.練習四寫強勢句B2.Executivesaresentbysomecompaniestoconferencesonhandlingtelevisioninterviews.

→Somecompaniessentexecutivestoconferencesonhandlingtelevisioninterviews

練習五寫強勢句C找出下列句子中的be動詞，并且用表示動作的詞（actionverbs）代替表示狀態(tài)的be：

例：Itismyopinionthatthetypewriterhasbeenrepaired.

修改后：Ithinkthatthetypewriterhasbeenrepaired.1.Heissomeonewhocanaccomplishagreatdealinashortperiodoftime.

→Hecanaccomplishalotinashortperiodoftime.4.Wehavebeeninbusinessmanufacturingfinefabricsforoverahundredyears.

→Wehavemanufacturedfinefabricsforoverahundredyears.

7.Itisourexpectationthatthestorewillsellbothmen'sandwomen'sclothing.

→Weexpectthatthestorewillsellbothmen'sandwomen'sclothing.練習八把下面的句子和段落改寫成簡潔易懂的話11）Americanbusinesshasagoal,whichistotrytoraisethestandardofliving.

→ThegoaloftheAmericanbusinessistoraisethelivingstandard.6）Thereisanothernameforspecialization;thatis,itiscalledthedivisionoflabor.

→Thereisanothernameforspecialization;thatis,thedivis