Chapter2StayingwithaFamilyCase1Erica:Hello!Thankforcoming.Here,letmetakeyourcoat.Lin:Hello.Thanks.Here’ssomewineforyou.Erica:That’slovely.Youreallyshouldn’thave,Lin.Thankyou.Let’sgoinandmeettheothers.分析：無論東方還是西方，去做客總要帶點(diǎn)兒禮物。無論赴晚會(huì)還是晚宴，帶甁葡萄酒總是適宜的。有些西方人給女主人買些花兒，或是巧克力。呈上禮物的時(shí)候，對(duì)你的禮物低調(diào)處理，就是說，不要太多地談?wù)撃愕亩Y物。上面的范例是，受禮的主人倒要說上兩句，以表謝意。Case2Erica:Lin,dohavesomemoredessert.Lin:Thankyou,butI’mafraidI’vehadenough.It’swonderful.分析：同世界上其他國家的人一樣，西方人也很好客。他們也總是想讓客人吃得多多的。所有學(xué)會(huì)怎樣在餐桌上婉言謝絕很有用處。Case3Afterthemealandafterthetablehasbeencleared.Liuisnotsurewhattodo,butwantstohelpinsomeway.Atleasthewantstooffer.Helen:Thanksforyourhelp,Huang.Liu:Pleasure.WhatcanIdonow?Helen:Nothing.It’sfine.I’llrinsethesedishesthenstackthem.It’llonlytakeaminute.Liu:Doesthefamilyusuallyhelp?Helen:Well,atspecialtimes.Jacksometimesrinsesthedishesbutyoucanseehe’sreallytiredtonight.Liu:Letmedoitforyou.Helen:Notruly,it’sokay.Liu:MaybeIcanwipethetablethen.Helen:Thatwouldbehelpful.Thanks.You’rereallykind,Huang.分析：在西方人家中的就餐的時(shí)間里，大家都設(shè)法插手幫一下忙，即便是男士也不例外，不要一點(diǎn)不動(dòng)著開飯。所有家住者要能幫者擺擺餐具，或餐后收拾洗碗，把餐具放進(jìn)洗碗機(jī)，倒垃圾，站在一邊幫著擦干洗好的餐具。雖然都是小忙，卻表明你對(duì)別人的操勞非常在意，是個(gè)用心的人。Case4AnAmericanwenttoChinesehome.Hewasofferedsometea.Justwhenthefirstcupwasabouttofinish,moreteawasadded.Thevisitordrankthesecondcup.Thenthecupwasfilledthethirdtime.Thenhedrankit,then…untilthevisitorwasquitefull.Why?分析：在中國的傳統(tǒng)文化習(xí)俗里，主任通常會(huì)不斷給客人倒水倒茶，或者不斷地給客人的盤子里加食物以表示他的熱情好客。面對(duì)的這樣的情況，中國客人知道如何處理，在他們覺得吃飽喝足之后，就會(huì)隨它放在桌上。而美國客人就不懂了，在美國，在自己的盤子里剩下食物是不禮貌的，于是他出于遵循美國文化理念可能會(huì)在這樣的招待中吃的過多。Case5Lin:Thankyousomuchforawonderfulnight.I’vehadagreattime.Erica:It’sbeenapleasurehavingyou.Wehopeyoucancomeagain,soon.Lin:I’dlikethat.Youbothknowhowtomakemefeelathome.Thanksforeverything.分析：在動(dòng)身離去的時(shí)候，找到主人，當(dāng)面說一聲謝謝，是有禮貌的行為。Case6DinnerwithFriendJaniceisayoungAmericanengineerworkingforamanufacturingjointventurenearNanjing.SheandherhusbandGeorge,whoisteachingEnglishatauniversity,arelearningChineseandenjoyingtheirnewlife.TheyhavebeeneagertogettoknowChinesepeoplebettersotheywerepleasedwhenLiuLingling,Janice’syoungco-workerinvitedthemtoherhomefordinner.WhenJaniceandGeorgearrived，LinglingintroducedthemtoherhusbandYangFeng,askedthemtositdownatatablecontaining8platesofvariouscolddishes,servedthemteaandthendisappearedwithherhusbandintothekitchen.AfterafewminutesLinglingcamebackandaddedwatertotheirtea.JaniceofferedtohelpinthekitchenbutLinglingsaidshedidn’tneedhelp.SheinvitedthecoupletolookattheirnewCDplayerandtheircolorfulTVandthendisappearedagain.Ahalf-hourlatershecamebackandsatdownandthethreebegantoeat.YangFengcameinfromtimetotimetoputdishafterhotdishonthetable.MostofthefoodwaswonderfulbutneitherGeorgenorJanicecouldeatthefattyporkinpeppersauceortheeacucumbers,andtherewasmuchmorethantheycouldeat.TheykeptwishingYangFengwouldsitdownsotheycouldtalktohim.Finallyhedidsitdowntoeatabit,butquicklyturnedontheTVtoshowthemallitshightechingfeatures.Soonitwastimetogohome.GeorgeandJanicefeltslightlydepressedbythisexperience,butreturnedtheinvitationtwoweekslater.TheydecidedtomakeaniceAmericanmealandfeltluckytofindolives,tomatojuice,crackersandasappetizers.Forthemaincoursetheypreparedspaghettiandasaladwithdressingmadefromoil,vinegar,andsomespicestheyfoundinthemarket.WhenLiuLinglingandYangFengarrivedtheywereimpressedbytheapartmentandaskedthepriceoftheTV,videoplayer,vacuumcleanerandotherthings.Janicepolitelyrefusedtoanswertheirquestions.TheytooksmalltastesoftheappetizersandseemedsurprisedwhenbothGeorgeandJanicesatdownwiththem.Theyateonlyalittlespaghettianddidnotfinishthesaladontheirplates.Georgeurgedthemtoeatmorebuttheyrefusedandlookedaroundexpectantly.JuniceandGeorgetalkedabouttheirfamiliesandjobsandaskedthetableandservedcoffeeandpastries.YangFengandLinglingeachputfourspoonsofsugarsintotheircoffeebutdidnotdrinkmuchofitandateonlyabiteortwoofpastry.Aftertheyleft,Georgesaidthatatleasttheyhadachancetotalk,butJanicewasupset.“Welefttheirplacesofullthatwecouldn’twalkandthey’regoingtohavetoeatagainwhentheygethome.Whatwentwrong?分析：中西方飲食習(xí)慣大大的不同。中國人邀請(qǐng)客人會(huì)準(zhǔn)備一大桌子的菜，并在就餐過程中使勁勸說客人多吃點(diǎn)，吃完之后，還有剩菜，就表明主人的盛情款待。而西方人一不勸吃，二就餐完畢后，盤子最好是空的。本案列中的兩對(duì)中外夫婦不明這個(gè)文化差異，發(fā)生誤解就是自然而然的事了。Case7CanWeTalkAboutIt?LindaCarmichaellivesinaCanadiancitywithhertwo-year-oldadoptedChinesedaughterMing.LindaisabusyprofessionalwomanandasingleparentwhowantsherdaughtertospeakChineseandknowthecultureshewasborninto.ForthisreasonLindainvitesnewChineseimmigrantstoliveinasparebedroominherhouse.Shealwaysinterviewsprospectivehousematesbeforetheymovein.Shewantstoavoidanymisunderstandingsbymakingherexpectationsclear,andshewantseveryonewholivesinthehousetobenefit.Amongotherthings,shewantstoseehowMinglikesanynewpersonwhomightlivewiththem.SheexpectsanewresidentinherhometoagreetosharehouseworkandtospeakChinesetoMing.InexchangeLindaagreestohelpwithEnglishandanyotherproblemsthenewlyarrivedimmigrantmightfaceinadaptingtolifeinCanada.Lindaliked32-year-oldJiangYumei,anengineerfromnortheastChina,immediatelywhenshecameforherinterview,andsodidMing.JiangYumeithoughtthiswouldbeanidealplacetospendthesixmonthsshehadtowaituntilherhusbandand4-year-oldsoncouldjoinher.TheylivedwithJiangYumei’sparents,wheresheandherhusbandhadlivedsincetheymarried.Shehadneverlivedapartfromherparentsexcepttobeabletolivewithafamily.ShereadilyagreedtoeverythingLindasaidduringtheinterview.AfterafewweeksLindanoticedthatJiangYumeiseldomdidanyhousework.Shedidnotevencleanupafterherself,soLindahadmorehouseworkthanbeforeJiangYumeimovedin.LindahelpedJiangYumeiwithEnglishandjobapplications,andpracticedjobinterviewwithher.AtthesametimeJiangYumeididnotseemtospendmuchtimewithMing.LindagaveJiangYumeisomelightenedreminderssuchasjokingabouthowshehateshouseworkorsaying,”Ming,tellmewhatyoudidthisafternoon.”Thisdidnotproduceanypositiveresult,soLindadecidedtodiscusstheproblemdirectly.OneeveningatthekitchentableLinasaid,“Ithinkwehavesomecrossedlinesofcommunication.Understoodthatwehadacertainagreementbetweenus,butyouobviouslyunderstoodsomethingdifferent.Canwetalkaboutit?”JiangYumeiwassilentandstaredatthetable.Lindatriedagain,“IhopedyouwouldspendmoretimewithMing,Youtwogotalongsowellatfirst.Shelikesyouandisdisppointedthatyoudon’tplaywithher.”JiangYumeididnotsayanything.ShedidnotlookatLinda.Herbodystiffened,herfaceturnedred,andshestaredatthefloor.Lindatriedagain,“I’mnotangry,justconfused,tellmewhatyou’rethinking,Iwanttounderstandyourpointofview.”Moresilence.FinallyLindacouldnottolerateJiangYumei’ssilenceanylonger.Shewasangrywhenshesaid,“Youknow,inthiscultureit’sveryrudetostaysilentwhensomeoneistryingweryhardtoresolveamisunderstanding.”ThenextdayLindawenttoseeherfriendLiuQian,whohadlivedinCanadaforoverayear.LiulistenedtoLinda’sstoryandsaid,“She’sangry!”ThiswasasurprisetoLinda.“Whatissheangryabout?Whywon’tshetalktome?”Lindaneverfoundout.JiangYumeimovedoutsoonafter.分析：中國人較含蓄內(nèi)斂，而外國人熱情外向。所以本案列中，一加拿大人為了幫助自己的養(yǎng)女學(xué)習(xí)中文，找了一個(gè)中國移民來家里生活，但是由于雙方的性格差異和文化差異，在日常生活中常會(huì)發(fā)生一些沖突。Case8LinhuahasaccompaniedanAmericandelegationtovisitChina.TheyhaveexperiencedthehospitalityoftheChinesepeople.AfterreturningtoAmerica分析：在中國，為了表示熱情好客，人們往