閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。人與自我——校園話題——解決問題（全新升級版——對接B3U1知心大姐）Evaspentthefirstweekofhighschooltryingtokeepherheadabovewater.Oneofthemajorheadachesforherwasfindingherwayinthehugeschoolbuilding.Itwasasix-storybuilding.Oneachfloor,hallwaysstretchedinfourdirections,leadingtoclassrooms,laboratories,andteachers'offices.Somewhereinthebuilding,therewasalsoalibrary,acafeteria,andagym.Havingapoorsenseofdirection,Evafounditimpossibletogetaroundinsuchahugebuilding.Allthedifferenthallwaysandroomsweretoomuchtothinkabout,letalonecommittomemory.Shedecidedthatshewouldmemorizewhereherclasseswereandthenpretendthattherestoftheplacedidn'texist.InherfirstP.E.class,EvawasshockedwhenCoachPittannouncedthateveryonehadtorunonemilearoundthetrackoutside.Shesearchedthefacesofherclassmatesforsignsofpanic.Therewasnothingshefearedmorethanhavingtorunawholemile.ToEva,

“amile”

wasusedtodescribelongdistances.Itwastenmilesfromherhometohergrandfather's,andthatalwaysseemedlikealongway,eveninacar.WhenCoachPittblewhiswhistle(哨子),Evafiguredshewouldbeleftinthedust.However,whilesomeofherclassmatesedgedahead,othersactuallyfellbehind."It'sjustthebeginning,"shethought.

“I’llcomeinlastforsure.”SoonEvabegantobreathehard,withherheartpoundingandlegsshaking.Feelingdesperate,Evastartedusingamindtrickonherself.Shestoppedthinkingabouttheword

“mile.”

Instead,shefocusedonreachingtheshadowcastonthetrackbyanoaktreeupahead.Thensheconcentratedonjoggingtothespotwherethetrackcurved(拐彎).Afterthat,shetriedtoseeifshecouldcompleteherfirstlap.Onelapturnedintotwo,thenthree,thenfour.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2.請按如下格式作答。Paragraph1：WhenCoachPittsaid,"Nicework!"toheratthefinishline,Evawas

surprised.

_________________________________Paragraph2：Evadecidedtousethesame

trick

todealwiththeschoolbuilding.

_________________________________這篇故事的原文標(biāo)題是"GoingTheDistance"，英英釋義是"Topersistwithsomeactivityorgoaluntilitscompletion",也就是"堅(jiān)持到底”。因此，“堅(jiān)持”“毅力”

都是這篇故事的寓意之一。

2.高考就是中國的CollegeEntranceExamination,本篇故事對于即將步入大學(xué)的高考生來說，很接地氣，很有“立德樹人”的實(shí)際意義。我想到自己當(dāng)年是大一或研一新生的時(shí)候，也經(jīng)常在諾大的校園里迷路。Eva在高中的第一周努力適應(yīng)，第一個難題是在一個龐大的教學(xué)樓里認(rèn)路，第二個難題是體育課跑一英里。如何面對挑戰(zhàn)、解決難題、適應(yīng)新環(huán)境，也是這篇故事的一個基本立意。從這個立意出發(fā)，我覺得續(xù)寫的結(jié)尾，與其寫"breakthegoalintosmallersteps"，不如拔高一下，透過現(xiàn)象看本質(zhì)，升華提煉為通過毅力/堅(jiān)持和智慧(mindtrick)來應(yīng)對生活中的挑戰(zhàn)。

3.本文是明顯的“強(qiáng)情節(jié)敘事”，也就是需要鋪陳展開的情節(jié)線很飽滿。但是，我們應(yīng)該要有意識地照顧情緒線，不能讓人物的心理活動和情緒變化完全消失了。所以下水文里，我的情緒線是"readily→grateful→feelempoweredwithconfidence→disorientedandfrustrated"。

4.

其實(shí)這篇故事的敘事框架，我認(rèn)為可以概括為有兩套平行的Problem-Solution，需要考生將Eva解決體育課跑步ProblemB的solution,遷移運(yùn)用到來解決先前的教學(xué)樓迷路ProblemA。因此，續(xù)寫第二段最具有操作性的情節(jié)構(gòu)思，就是依葫蘆畫瓢，仿寫材料第5段的敘事結(jié)構(gòu)"Shestopped...Instead,...Thensheconcentrated...Afterthat...".

5.下水文的最后一句"there'salwaysawayout"，是我有意打造的pun-"雙關(guān)語"，既指故事中Eva終于在校園中不迷路了，也指更宏觀意義上擺脫困境的出路。雙關(guān)語雖是可遇而不可求的妙手偶得，但在讀續(xù)的結(jié)尾要融入某種修辭手法（比喻/象征/夸張/擬人/etc.)應(yīng)該是高分選手追求的寫作境界。參考范文逐句解析：

WhenCoachPitt

said

“Nicework!”toheratthefinishline,Evawassurprised.

She

wouldnever

have

guessed

that

shewould

finishtherun,letalone

comeoutontop.

（wouldneverhaveguessed

意思是“本不可能料到”，是對過去的虛擬；comeoutontop是動詞短語，意思是“名列前茅”。從構(gòu)思而言，第一段的段首銜接應(yīng)該清楚交待CoachPitt為什么表揚(yáng)Eva，以及Eva為什么感到吃驚。）“Thankyou,sir”,Eva

readilytookCoachPitt’shigh-five,

gratefulforhisencouragement.

（我看到有些版本的范文以及學(xué)生作文，都沒有提到Eva對CoachPitt贊揚(yáng)的反應(yīng)。遵循Action-Response的寫作思路，我認(rèn)為這里應(yīng)該寫一筆Eva的反應(yīng)，也更符合一個讀后續(xù)寫培養(yǎng)“有情有義之人”的德育宗旨?！皉eadilytookCoachPitt'shigh-five"-欣然地與皮特教練擊掌。像“high-five"這種透著地道英美文化細(xì)節(jié)的小詞，很多中國小學(xué)生都認(rèn)識，但是高考生卻不一定有意識把它作為寫作詞匯進(jìn)行輸出。作為教師，可以引導(dǎo)學(xué)生按照場景-scenario/scene

來梳理寫作詞匯，比如體育運(yùn)動---旁人的反應(yīng):

high-five,clap,cheer,hooray,etc.)Someof

theoncefront-runners

alsoapproachedandcongratulatedher

withanastonishedtone.“Waytogo,girl!Wesurelyunderestimated

an

underdog!”

（"theoncefront-runners"意思是“原本是跑步中領(lǐng)先的人”，屬于呼應(yīng)故事材料第4段中"whilesomeofherclassmatesedgedahead"的同義轉(zhuǎn)述。在這里我想多說一句，續(xù)寫部分應(yīng)該要呼應(yīng)前文中的細(xì)節(jié)，但是呼應(yīng)前文最好不要直接照搬復(fù)制，最好是通過同義轉(zhuǎn)述來體現(xiàn)寫作者的詞匯駕馭能力。"waytogo"-"干得好！"，以前我也寫到過，讀續(xù)的人物對話要短、精、地道，最適合植入一些地道的俚語表達(dá)。"underdog"是一個非常地道的名詞，意思是"弱者；不被看好的一方"；英英釋義：underdog:

inacompetition,thepersonorteamconsideredtobetheweakestandtheleastlikelytowin.

而"underdog-to-topdog"-"小人物逆襲"，也是美國通俗故事中很俗套而常見的敘事套路。）Stillgasping,Evafound

theformidable“onemile”

now

a"mission

possible".

(gasp

vi.喘氣-Eva剛剛跑完步，仍然在恢復(fù)體力中；formidable

adj.難對付的，令人生畏的；missionpossible,是借用阿湯哥經(jīng)典電影的標(biāo)題MissionImpossible《碟中諜》，這屬于寫作技巧中的culturereference

"文化引用"，對于母語寫作者和讀者來說都是會心一笑的體驗(yàn)。)

Inhindsight,themindtricksheemployedshould

takethecredit.

(inhindsight-"事后來看";

...takethecredit

“歸功于..."。這一句話既是承接前文第5段的"mindtrick"，也是準(zhǔn)備過渡引出續(xù)寫第二段首句的"thesametrick”。)

Eva

feltempoweredwith

confidenceto

getoveranydifficulty.

Assheheadedbacktothe

schoolbuilding,anidea

tookshape

inEva’shead.

(takeshape-"開始成形")

(101詞)

Evadecidedtousethesame

tricktodealwiththeschoolbuilding.

Shegaveuptheideaof

navigating

inthebuilding

atwill

withrotememory.

（navigate-"確定方向",

at

will

-"自如地，隨心所欲地",

rotememory-"死記硬背")

Instead,

shestudiedthe

building

layout

carefully

and

highlighted

thetrickyhallwaysandturns

whereshegotlostpreviously.

(從學(xué)生的反應(yīng)來看，續(xù)寫第二段的情節(jié)構(gòu)思是難點(diǎn)。Eva要如何運(yùn)用"mindtrick"來解決在教學(xué)樓中迷路的這個難題？其實(shí)這篇故事的敘事框架，我認(rèn)為可以概括為有兩套Problem-Solution，需要考生將Eva解決體育課跑步ProblemB的solution,遷移運(yùn)用到來解決先前的教學(xué)樓迷路ProblemA。因此，續(xù)寫第二段最具有操作性的情節(jié)構(gòu)思，就是依葫蘆畫瓢，仿寫材料第5段的敘事結(jié)構(gòu)"Shestopped...Instead,...Thensheconcentrated...Afterthat...".于是，我的結(jié)構(gòu)是"Shegaveuptheideaof...Instead,..."。措辭表達(dá)方面，buildinglayout-大樓布局圖，whereshegotlostpreviously-呼應(yīng)材料第二段中的細(xì)節(jié)"Evafounditimpssoibletogetaroundinsuchahugebuilding"

)Justlikethewaysheran,Eva

walked

oneflooratatime.

(前文中跑步時(shí)動用"mindtrick"，把"onemile"這個看似宏大的目標(biāo)切分成若干圈/小目標(biāo)，這里也一樣，把six-storybuilding分割成若干層樓，一次只嘗試熟悉一層樓。）Attimesshewouldstillfindherselfinadeadend,

disorientedandfrustrated.

(disoriented

adj.失去方向感的，本文是明顯的“強(qiáng)情節(jié)敘事”，也就是需要鋪陳展開的情節(jié)線很飽滿。但是，我們應(yīng)該要有意識地照顧情緒線，不能讓人物的心理活動和情緒變化完全消失了。所以下水文里，我的情緒線是"readily→grateful→feelempoweredwithconfi