書面表達(dá)評(píng)改課內(nèi)容

審題不清，內(nèi)容不全語(yǔ)言邏輯1.詞句不貼切2.句意不完整3.漢語(yǔ)式思維4.語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤缺乏邏輯，上下文不連貫

市模英語(yǔ)書面表達(dá)存在問(wèn)題請(qǐng)以“Myschoollifetodayandinthefuture”為題，用英語(yǔ)寫一篇短文。內(nèi)容提示：（可選擇表格內(nèi)容中的一項(xiàng)）schoollifetodayinthefutureschoolhoursschoolactivities……內(nèi)容，人稱，時(shí)態(tài)---中心突出審審列連改內(nèi)容人稱時(shí)態(tài)內(nèi)容結(jié)構(gòu)內(nèi)容語(yǔ)言邏輯列structurebeginningendingtodaytomorrow直入話題，簡(jiǎn)明扼要.圍繞主題，敘述清楚呼應(yīng)主題，強(qiáng)調(diào)觀點(diǎn)列structurebeginningbodyendingtodaytomorrow直入話題，簡(jiǎn)明扼要.圍繞主題，敘述清楚呼應(yīng)主題，強(qiáng)調(diào)觀點(diǎn)schoollifehoursactivitiesbuildingsmealsuniforms???schoolhourslessonsstart/begin…finishfrom…tolasttoolonglunchbreakinterestingrelaxingschooldaybusymeaningful…1.At11:40wehavealunchbreak.It’sthemostinterestingandrelaxingpartofmyschoolday.2.TodayIspendmorethan9hourseverydaystudyingatschool,Iwishschoolhourswillbelessthan6hoursinthefuturesothatIcanhavemoresparetimetodoanythingthatIaminterestedin.佳句推薦schoolactivitiestripssportsinterestclubs???佳句推薦

Inthefuture,wewillhavemoreactivities.Forfun,wecantaketripstosomeplacesofinterestinourcountry.Toprotecttheenvironment,wecanplantmoretrees,pickuprubbishandsoon.Inthisway,wecanrelaxourselvesatthesametimewecandosomethinggoodforourcity.schoolmeals/clothestodayfuturelesstastybuthealthy…?schooluniforms?mealsclothes佳作賞析內(nèi)容：完整，連貫語(yǔ)言：合理，地道邏輯：清晰，流暢

Talkingofschoollife,Ican’thelpthinkingaboutthedifferencebetweentheschoollifetodayandinthefuture.Today,Istudyforabout10hoursaday.IhavenotimetodoanythingthatIaminterestedin.ButIstillthinkI’mlucky,becauseIcanspendalldaywithmyclassmateswhosharehappinessandsadnesswithmetogetherWhatabouttheschoollifeinthefuture?Maybethereisnoneedformetogotoschool,becauseIwillbetaughtontheInternet.Inaddition,therewillbelotsofclubswhichIcanchoosetotakepartin.Mylifewillbemorecolorful,butI’mafraidmyfriendshipwon’tbeasgoodasthatoftoday.Inaword,myschoollifetodayandinthefuturebothhaveitsownadvantages.TheonlythingthatIcandoistovalueeverysecondtoenjoymyschoollife.美文欣賞內(nèi)容：完整，連貫語(yǔ)言：合理，地道邏輯：清晰,流