高三英語一輪復(fù)習(xí)專項教學(xué)設(shè)計——讀后續(xù)寫《粗糙的手與溫柔的愛》（母子親情+個人成長+道德沖突主題）一、原題呈現(xiàn)閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。單親母親一生都在家照顧三個孩子，但如今，她因丈夫在一場車禍中離世，不得不走出家門掙錢養(yǎng)家。由于沒有任何工作經(jīng)驗和專業(yè)學(xué)位，她獲得高薪工作的機會幾乎為零。一天，送孩子們上學(xué)后，單親母親看到一處建筑工地。“我想我可以在這里工作，”她心里想著，便走向了經(jīng)理。“您好，請問你們在招人嗎？”她問道?！笆堑?，我們在招，”經(jīng)理上下打量著她，“你確定你能在這里工作嗎？這份工作需要付出很多體力勞動?！薄拔乙呀?jīng)準備好了，”她告訴經(jīng)理，并簽訂了一份12小時輪班的工作合同。然而，單親母親對孩子們隱瞞了這份新工作。她認為如果孩子們知道母親在建筑工地工作，會感到尷尬。每天早上，送孩子們上學(xué)后，她就會去建筑工地工作，直到輪班結(jié)束。她會把沉重的磚頭扛在肩上，從工地的一處搬到另一處。一天晚上，兒子告訴她學(xué)校即將舉辦一場比賽，要求母親們參加。在比賽中，學(xué)生們會蒙住眼睛，不看就能認出自己的母親?！奥犉饋碚媸莻€有趣的活動！”單親母親興奮地說，“我都等不及了！”“媽媽，我不會和你一起去的，”兒子回答道?！翱墒菫槭裁茨?？”兒子接下來的話，是她始料未及的?！皨寢?，我得通過摸你的手來認出你，而所有人都會看著你的手，”兒子解釋道，“你的手太難看了，又硬又粗糙?！彼a充說，“當(dāng)同學(xué)們看到你的手時，我會感到很尷尬的。我不會參加這個活動的?！眴斡H母親感到一陣難受，卻無法為自己辯解。注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Paragraph1:Afewdayslater,thesonwaswalkinghomewhensomethingunexpectedcaughthisattention.Paragraph2:Onhiswaybackhome,hekeptthinkingabouthowhewouldapologizetohismother.二、文本深度解析與續(xù)寫核心思路（一）文本核心要素分析該讀后續(xù)寫屬于家庭溫情、個人成長與道德沖突交織的敘事類文本，聚焦“母愛犧牲與子女理解”的核心主題。文本通過“母親隱瞞艱辛工作”與“兒子嫌棄母親粗糙雙手”的核心沖突，構(gòu)建了人物成長與情感和解的敘事框架，具體要素如下表所示：分析維度核心內(nèi)容文本支撐句人物刻畫母親：堅韌隱忍、無私奉獻；兒子：幼稚虛榮、知錯能改“shehadtostepoutandearnmoneytomakeendsmeet”；“Iwillfeelsoembarrassedwhenmyclassmateslookatyourhands”情感層次母親：隱忍痛苦、默默付出；兒子：初期冷漠、后期愧疚“Catherinefeltterriblebutcouldn'tsayanythinginherdefense”；（續(xù)寫核心：兒子情感轉(zhuǎn)變）關(guān)鍵情節(jié)點兒子拒絕母親參加學(xué)校比賽，成為沖突爆發(fā)點“Iwon'tattendtheevent”核心意象“粗糙的手”：象征母親的辛勞與犧牲；“建筑工地”：暗示生活的艱辛“Yourhandsaresohardandrough”；“spottedaconstructionsite”隱含主題母愛的偉大在于無私奉獻，子女的成長在于理解與尊重母親隱瞞工作以避免孩子尷尬，兒子終將領(lǐng)悟雙手背后的愛（二）續(xù)寫核心思路情感導(dǎo)向：以兒子的情感轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)橹骶€，完成“誤解嫌棄→震驚目睹→愧疚反思→真誠道歉”的情感閉環(huán)。沖突解決：通過“兒子意外發(fā)現(xiàn)母親工作真相”這一關(guān)鍵轉(zhuǎn)折，打破信息差，化解“子女虛榮”與“母愛犧牲”的核心矛盾。主題升華：通過細節(jié)描寫展現(xiàn)母親工作的艱辛，凸顯“粗糙雙手”背后的溫柔與力量，傳遞“內(nèi)在付出遠勝于外在表象”的價值觀。結(jié)構(gòu)銜接：嚴格承接原文情節(jié)（兒子步行回家、母親在建筑工地工作）與關(guān)鍵詞（“roughhands”“constructionsite”），確保敘事連貫性。（三）“故事山”敘事結(jié)構(gòu)優(yōu)化階段內(nèi)容描述開端單親母親因家庭變故成為建筑工人，為避免孩子尷尬隱瞞工作。發(fā)展學(xué)校比賽要求母子配合，兒子因嫌棄母親粗糙的手拒絕讓其參與，引發(fā)沖突。高潮（續(xù)寫）兒子放學(xué)途中意外目睹母親在建筑工地搬磚的艱辛場景，內(nèi)心受到強烈沖擊?；芈洌ɡm(xù)寫）兒子在回家路上陷入深刻反思，愧疚感油然而生，決心向母親道歉。結(jié)局（續(xù)寫）兒子向母親真誠致歉，母子達成情感和解，兒子理解母愛的犧牲與偉大。三、續(xù)寫實施要點與技巧指導(dǎo)（一）核心銜接點把控情節(jié)銜接：續(xù)寫第一段需自然承接“兒子步行回家”的場景，通過“建筑工地的環(huán)境聲響”“熟悉的身影”等細節(jié)引出母親工作的畫面。情感銜接：兒子的情緒需從“嫌棄”逐步過渡到“震驚”“愧疚”，避免情感轉(zhuǎn)變突兀，需通過環(huán)境描寫、動作細節(jié)鋪墊情緒變化。意象銜接：重復(fù)“粗糙的手”這一核心意象，但需完成意象內(nèi)涵的轉(zhuǎn)變——從“丑陋的象征”轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)椤澳笎鄣囊娮C”。（二）高級描寫技巧運用1.動作描寫：凸顯艱辛與力量例句1：Shestumbledundertheweightofthebricks,butstubbornlyadjustedherpostureandpressedon,hermusclesstrainingagainsttheheavyload.例句2：Hisfeetrootedtothegroundashewatchedherwipesweatfromherbrowwiththebackofhercallousedhand,leavingafaintduststreakonhercheek.2.心理描寫：刻畫情感轉(zhuǎn)變例句1：Awaveofoverwhelmingguiltcrashedoverhim,chokinghimasherecalledhisharshwordsabouther"uglyhands".例句2：Shameburnedhotterthantheafternoonsun,erasingallhispreviousvanityandleavingonlyremorseforhisignorance.3.環(huán)境描寫：烘托氛圍與心境例句1：Theconstructionsitebuzzedwiththerumbleofmachineryandclangingofmetal,achaoticbackdroptohersilentperseverance.例句2：Dusthungthickintheair,glitteringinthescorchingsun,asifhighlightingthehardshipofherdailytoil.4.句式優(yōu)化：提升表達質(zhì)感獨立主格結(jié)構(gòu)：Herbackhunchedwithfatigue,shecontinuedtocarrythebricks,notasingleplaintescapingherlips.現(xiàn)在分詞伴隨狀語：Watchingherlabortirelessly,heclenchedhisfistsathissides,nailsdiggingintohispalmswithshame.無靈主語句：Thesightofherwornfigurestruckhimlikeablow,wakinghimupfromhisfoolishobsessionwithappearance.（三）高級詞匯替換與地道搭配基礎(chǔ)詞匯高級替換詞/搭配適用場景importantcrucial,pivotal,indispensable強調(diào)母愛犧牲的重要性hard/difficultarduous,grueling,strenuous描述建筑工作的艱辛embarrassedashamed,mortified,selfconscious刻畫兒子初期的虛榮與后期的愧疚beautifulnoble,admirable,dignified升華“粗糙雙手”的內(nèi)涵understandprehend,grasp,appreciate體現(xiàn)兒子對母愛的最終領(lǐng)悟核心地道搭配積累makeendsmeet：收支相抵，勉強維持生計keepsth.asecretfromsb.：向某人隱瞞某事catchone'sattention：引起某人注意inone'sdefense：為某人辯解signacontract：簽訂合同traceapath：留下一道痕跡wellupwithtears：熱淚盈眶四、優(yōu)秀續(xù)寫范文Version1Paragraph1:Afewdayslater,thesonwaswalkinghomewhensomethingunexpectedcaughthisattention.Thedistantclangingofbricksandrumbleofmachineryledhiseyestoanearbyconstructionsite.Amidstthedustandchaos,afamiliarthinfigurestoodout—hismother.Shewascarryingastackofheavybricksonhershoulder,herbodyleaningforwardundertheweight,everystepseemingtocosthergreateffort.Thescorchingsunbeatdownrelentlessly,soakingherclotheswithsweatthattracedcleanpathsthroughthedustonherskin.Hewatchedherpausebrieflytomassageherachingwrists,hercallousedfingerstremblingslightly,beforeshestraightenedupandresumedherwork.The"uglyhands"hehadmockedflashedbeforehiseyes,nowasymbolofherunyieldingloveandsacrifice.Hefrozethere,hispreviouswordsechoinginhismindlikeacrueljoke,fillinghimwithunbearableshame.Paragraph2:Onhiswaybackhome,hekeptthinkingabouthowhewouldapologizetohismother.Eachstepfeltheavierthanthelast,burdenedbytheweightofhisignoranceandvanity.Herealizedthoseroughhandswerenotuglyatall—theywerethehandsthatputfoodonthetable,mendedhisclothes,andtuckedhimintobedatnight.Theywerethehandsthatbuiltawarmhomeforhimandhissiblingsthroughsheerhardwork.Rehearsinghisapologyahundredtimes,hemadeuphismindtomakeamends.Whenhegothome,hefoundherinthekitchen,preparingdinnerasusual.Withoutaword,herushedoverandhuggedhertightly,tearssoakingherwornshirt."Mom,I'msosorryforwhatIsaid,"hewhispered,hisvoicechokedwithemotion."Yourhandsarethemostbeautifulhandsintheworld.Let'sgotothecontest—Iwanteveryonetoknowhowamazingyouare."Sheheldhimclose,hereyeswellingupwithtearsofreliefandlove.Version2Paragraph1:Afewdayslater,thesonwaswalkinghomewhensomethingunexpectedcaughthisattention.Achaoticsymphonyofmachineryandshoutingdrewhimtoaconstructionsite,wherehespottedafigurelaboringtirelessly.Itwashismother,bentoverundertheweightofbricks,herfacecontortedwitheffort.Dustcoveredherhairandclothes,andhercallousedhandsgrippedthebricksfirmly,theirroughnessaccentuatedbytheharshsunlight.Hewatchedasshestumbledslightly,thenquicklyregainedherbalance,neverslowingdown.Thesightpiercedhisheart—hehadneverimaginedthehardshipssheenduredtosupportthefamily.Thosehandshehaddespisedwereworkingendlesslytogivehimabetterlife,andhisembarrassmentturnedintoafloodofguiltthatthreatenedtooverwhelmhim.Hestoodtheresilently,hiseyesblurredwithtears,ashewitnessedherquietperseverance.Paragraph2:Onhiswaybackhome,hekeptthinkingabouthowhewouldapologizetohismother.Thestreetsaroundhimfadedintobackgroundnoiseashereplayedthesceneattheconstructionsiteinhismind.Hefeltashamedofhissuperficiality,judginghismotherbyherhandsinsteadofrecognizingthelovebehindthem.Whenhearrivedhome,hefoundhersoakinghersorehandsinwarmwater.Kneelingbesideher,hegentlytookherhandsinhis,caressingthecallusesthattoldthestoryofher