讀后續(xù)寫講評(píng)讀后續(xù)寫講評(píng)1一、原文分析WHO(maincharacters;relationship?):

Theoldlady(Myra’smother);

Thepostman

Myra(theoldlady’sdaughter);

Myra’shusband(Mayor,theoldlady’sson-in-law)

Mrs.Morrison(maybethelady’sneighbour

);

Mrs.Grant(thelady’sneighbour);

Johnnie(thelady’sneighbour)

Jim(maybeoneofherrelatives)

WHEN:Theoldlady’seightiethbirthdayWHERE:

Theoldlady’shome一、原文分析Theoldlady(Myra’smoth2WHAT:Itwasthelady’seightiethbirthday.Althoughshehadreceivedmanypresentsfromherneighbours,shewasstilllookingforwardtoherdaughter’spresent,whichshewassureherdaughterwouldneverforget.Havingmadefullpreparations,shestoodbythewindow,expectingthearrivalofthepost.Atlast,onlyanenvelopefromMyraarrived,theoldladyalmostunwillinglytoreitopen…

WHAT:Itwasthelady’s3Maincharacters:Theoldlady:Myra:Johnnie:livealonelookedafter

byherneighboursMyrawouldn'tforgethermother'sbirthday,evenifsheseldomwroteatothertimes.Ofcourseshewasbusy.TheoldladywasproudofMyra.HerherbandhadbeenmadeMayor,andMyraherselfhadgotamedalforherwork.Perhaps---perhapsMyramightcome.Afterall,eightywasaspecialbirthday.Thelittleboy,Johnnie,hadbeenupwithapacketofmints,andsaidhewouldn'tgoouttoplayuntiltheposthadcome.successful/ambitious/diligent

selfish/lackthesenseofresponsibilityShemayfeelregrefulfornotattendingtohermomHiscompanycomfortstheoldlady’sheart.Contrasttohighlighttheoldlady’slonelinessOrletusreflectonMyra’sabsenceofresponsibilitytotakecareofhermomPredictwouldshecometothepartyornot?Thereasonableplot

Theme?Maincharacters:Theoldlady:l4What’stheauthor'spurposeofwritingthisstory?What’sthebestgift?Itisoneofthetragediesthatchildrenregretinthelaterdaysnotbeingabletorewardparents'lovebeforetheypassaway.Nothingcouldbebetterthanthecompanyofherdaughter.What’stheauthor'spurposeo5二、每段的開頭語(yǔ)分析（用下劃線標(biāo)出關(guān)鍵詞）

Para1:Shestoodbythewindow,watching.Whydidshestandbythewindow?Howdidshefeelwhilewaiting？What/Whodidshewatchthatcouldaddtothefeelingofloneliness,excitement,hope?Howlongdidshewatch?thesunrisesunsetthesunrose/sank/setdownDidshereceiveagiftoraletter?Didherdaughtercome?WhosenthertheletterthepostmanorJohnnie?Whatwashisfeeling?Howdidshefeelseeingtheletter?Contrast

第一段應(yīng)該包含以下內(nèi)容：

二、每段的開頭語(yǔ)分析（用下劃線標(biāo)出關(guān)鍵詞）Whydids6Asthepostmanpassedby,abeamofdisappointmentsweptoverher.HopesofreceivingthepresentfromMyraseemedtobefadingaway.OnseeingwhatJohnniecarried,hersmilefrozeabruptly.Sheshookherhead,withatremblingvoice...Facedwithsuchafrustratingsituation,shekeptwaitingwiththeexpectationfadingaway.However,itseemedthatGodplayedatrickonhersincesherecievedtheletterwhenshewasalmostoverwhelmedbyadeepsenseofdespair.段子妍Theshiningfromeyesfadedaway,whichwassubstitutedbythedesperationandthenumbsense....suddenly,arapidsoundoffootstepsfiredherhopeagain...Staredatbytheboywithdissatisfactionandsuspicion,shewasatalossaboutwhattodo.儲(chǔ)加明Asthepostmanpassedby,abe7Theshineonhereyesfadedaway,sheturningbacktothetickenwithaheavygait/step.Hardlyhadshedecidedtocutthecakewhenthedoorbellrang.Theoldladyrushedtothedoor,openingitwithatremblinghand....Suddenly,asmileofunderstandingflashedacrossherface.Shehuggedtheboy,tearsgatheringinhereyes...錢藝ShestillfailtocatchsightofMyra,feelingasuddensurgeofdisappointment,theonlyfireofexpectationfadingaway.Whensheintendedtogiveupwaiting,Johnnierushedupstairsatfullspeed,graspinganenvelopfirmly.章祎瑋Thelittleboycastadelightedlookonhisfaceaswell.He

staredatthestreetuntilthepostmancameintohissight.Herantowardsthepostman,onlytobegivenaletter.Withahintofsadness,theladypickeduptheletter.詹雨

Theshineonhereyesfadedaw8兩段話內(nèi)容如何順暢銜接及第二句的關(guān)鍵部分：

Didherfeelingchangewhenshereceivedtheenvelope?Howdoyouknow?Para2:Almostunwillinglyshetoretheenvelopeopen.herfeelingchange(joy/expectation---disappointment)兩段話內(nèi)容如何順暢銜接及第二句的關(guān)鍵部分：

Didher9續(xù)寫的第二段要包含以下內(nèi)容：

Whatwasintheenvelope?

Therelayacardpeacefully,whichread/said,”...”Howdidshefeelwhenseeingthething(s)intheenvelope?Didsheseeherdaughteratlength?Didshereceivesomegifts?Whatwasthebestgiftforher?Whatwastheendofthestory?

ahappyending/asadending(outofexpectation)

disappointment–excitement/relief)Contrast續(xù)寫的第二段要包含以下內(nèi)容：

Whatwasinthe10四、語(yǔ)言基礎(chǔ)隨著時(shí)間的流逝里面有一張卡片，上面寫著...一個(gè)孤獨(dú)的身影站在門口，眼中充滿了期待。一個(gè)熟悉的身影出現(xiàn)在門口，眼中含有淚水

(With)Timegoingby/proceedingAstimeproceededInside/Therelayacard,whichread/said,”...”Therestoodalonelyfigurebythedoor,(with)eyesfilledwithexpectation.(獨(dú)立主格)Bythedoorstoodalonelyfigure...Thereappearedafamiliarfigureatthedoor,eyesfilledwithtears.Atthedoorappearedafamiliarfigure,eyesfilledwithtears.Afamiliarfigurecameintohersight四、語(yǔ)言基礎(chǔ)(With)Timegoingby/p11四、語(yǔ)言基礎(chǔ)5房間里很安靜。6突然7我很想陪伴你度過(guò)生日我最想要的是女兒的陪伴很抱歉我不能參加生日party9

Thewholeroomwasinsilence.Thewholeroomwascoveredwithablancketofsilence.Thewholeroomwasindeadlysilence,withonlythedeepbreathandthepumpingheartforcompany.Abruptly/Allofasudden,I’mdesperatetoaccompanyyou/tokeepyoucompany.I’msorryIfailtoattendyourbirthdayparty.I’msorryformyabsencefromyour...WhatIreallydesirewasmydaughter’scompany.四、語(yǔ)言基礎(chǔ)Thewholeroomwasins12四、多種表達(dá)訓(xùn)練1.她一想到女兒可能會(huì)來(lái)陪伴她，心里感到一陣激動(dòng)。

On/Uponthinkingthatherdaughterwouldcometoaccompanyher,shewasovercome/overwhelmedbyexcitement.

Theinstantshethoughtherdaughterwouldcometoaccompanyher,anairofexitementfloatedintheair.

Nosoonerhadshethoughtofherdaughter’scomingforcompany

than

sheheldherbreathwithheartpumpingwildly.四、多種表達(dá)訓(xùn)練On/Uponthinkingthat13Hereyestwinkledwithpleasuretheinstantshethoughtherdaughterwouldcome.Thebloodpulsedthroughherveins.Herfacewaslit/brightenedwithexcitement.Tearsstreameddownherfacebeforeanyword.

Hereyestwinkledwithpleasur14

2.一看到手里的信封，她感到很失落。

On/Uponseeingtheenvelopeinthehand,shefeltdisappointed/

indespair.

Theinstantshesawtheenvelopwithafamiliarsigature,herheartsankintoanabyssofdisappiontment.Nosoonerhadsheseentheenvelopwithafamiliarsigaturethan

herheartsankintoanabyssofdisappiontment.

Shestaredattheenvelopedwithafamiliarsignature,thebrightnessonherfacefadingaway.(獨(dú)立主格)Shecastadisappointedlookontheletter.詹雨

Thewholeroomwascoveredwithablanketofsilence.

On/Uponseeingtheenvelopei15Sherushedtothemailboxinexcitement,onlytofindtherewasmerelyanenvelop.Disappointedasshewas,shetookitout.Deeplytouched,shesobbedwithhappiness.Throughhermistyeyes,shesaw...李梁鈞

Sodisappointedwasshethatherbodyshudderedslightly.汪燕超Thedeliciouscaketastedbittertoday.梅秀玲Sherushedtothemailboxine163.收到了來(lái)自女兒的禮物后，她心里樂開了花。

Havingreceivedthepresentfromherdaughter,shejumpedtojoy/letoutascream.（具體的動(dòng)作）

Havingreceivedthepresentfromherdaughter,shewasoverjoyed,shewaswildwithjoy.Whenshereceived...herfacewaslightenedwithhappiness.Herlivelyeyesglittered（閃爍）liketheblackpearlsfullofjoy.(瞿比喻)Thebloodpulsedthroughherveins.Anairofdelight/happinessfloatedintheair.比喻Thewholeroomwascoveredwithablanketofhapiness.Thewholeroomwasbathedinhappiness.3.收到了來(lái)自女兒的禮物后，她心里樂開了花。Having17Smileclimbedontheoldlady’sfaceimmediatelywithairfilledwithwarmth.舒露Abittersmileclimbedonherface.Inaninstant,sherushedtotaketheenvelop,butitwasnotaddressed.Tearsrolleddownherface,“Iloveyou,too.”sherepliedwithasatisfiedandsweetsmile...鮑可潤(rùn)Smileclimbedontheoldlady’18

4.看完了信，她非常生氣。Afterreadingtheletter,shefeltannoyed.

...shelosthertemper.Afterreadingtheletter,shehittheceiling/wenthotunderthecollar(勃然大怒)，(with)thewholebodytrembling.獨(dú)立主格

Soannoyedwasshethatshetoreitintopieceswithtremblingfingers.(倒裝)Whatshesaidinthelettermadeherbloodboil（夸張）.Havingreadtheletter,shetoreitintopieceswithtremblingfingers.（具體動(dòng)作）

4.看完了信，她非常生氣。Afterreadingt19Para1：

She