小謝爾頓S01E05They'vegottostoptheminthisseries.得在這次阻止他們-Geez!Damnit!-Comeon!-靠-不是吧InTexas,theHolyTrinityisGod,在德克薩斯神圣的三位一體是上帝footballandbarbeque,橄欖球與燒烤notnecessarilyinthatorder.順序可以互換Idon'tcareifyouwin,justcoverthedamnspread.誰輸誰贏無所謂讓分后算我贏就行Mom,areyoubettingagain?媽你又開始賭球了嗎No.沒有...fansontheirfeet,球迷們?nèi)缱槡謙ryingtourgethedefenseon.希望隊伍展開防守Fourthdown.第四攻了Gottapunt.必須得棄踢Gotta.必須Statistically,alwayspuntingonfourthdown數(shù)據(jù)上來說總在第四攻棄踢makesnosense.是十分不合理的Statistically,you'readumbass.數(shù)據(jù)上來說你就是個傻逼WhentheAggiesgiveuptheball當?shù)轮蒉r(nóng)工大學(xué)隊ontheirownfive-yardline,被對方在自家五碼線進攻時theopposingteamhasa92%chanceofscoring.對方隊伍有92%的幾率會得分Whentheypuntfromdeepintheirownterritory,當他們從自家場地深處棄踢出去theotherteamstillhasa77%chanceofscoring.對方隊伍還是有77%的幾率得分Butsincetheyconvertonfourthdown50%ofthetime,但他們繼續(xù)進攻有50%幾率再得4次進攻機會themathsaystheyshouldneverpuntagain.所以計算顯示他們不該棄踢Okay,youcantellme,好了你偷偷跟媽說who'shisrealdaddy?他親生父親到底是誰Sheldon,I'vebeenplayingandcoachingfootballallmylife.謝爾頓我踢球與當教練一輩子了Idon'tthinkyourmathisright.我覺得你算得不對Really?是嗎Hangon.你等等No,it'sright.不沒算錯...abletoholdA&Mtoafieldgoal,讓農(nóng)工隊只是射門得分的話they'llonlybedownsixpoints.他們就只會落后6分Isityourdentist?是你的牙醫(yī)嗎Thelittleguywiththeglasses?那個戴眼鏡的小個子Youcantellme.放心跟我說實話Igottotellyou,I'malittleworriedaboutmymother.跟你說我有點擔心我媽Shekeepsbettingonthesefootballgames,她整天賭這些球賽nextthingyouknow,there'sanItalianfella之后哪天可能就會來個意大利小伙drivingoffwithherpickuptruck.來把她的小貨車開走抵債YouthinkSheldon'sright?你覺得謝爾頓說得對嗎Aboutwhat?哪件事情Thepuntingandthemath.棄踢還有他的計算Ishouldthinkso.我相信應(yīng)該對He'sbeendoingourtaxessincehe'ssixyearsold.從他六歲時起我們家納稅就是他在弄Weneverbeenaudited.我們也沒被稅局稽查That'strue.這倒是Heevengotusthatnicerefundlastyear.他去年還幫我們拿到退稅呢HowcomeMom'snottakingmetoschool?為什么今天不是媽載我去學(xué)校'Causeonceinawhile,因為有時候yourdadwantstospendsometimewithyou.你老爸也會想跟你相處一下啊MylittleShel-man.我的小謝仔ButMom'scarhasabackseat.但是媽的車有后座Statistically,I'mmuchsaferthere.數(shù)據(jù)上來說我坐那里比較安全Hey,I'mgladyoubroughtupstatistically.我剛好也想跟你聊一下這個數(shù)據(jù)YouthinkthosenumbersyoutalkedaboutforTexasA&M你覺得你昨天說的德州農(nóng)工大學(xué)隊的數(shù)據(jù)wouldapplytomyJVsquad?也能用在我?guī)У年犖樯蠁酙don'tseewhynot.沒道理不能啊Unlikeourformerprincipal,mathdoesn'tdiscriminate.數(shù)學(xué)與前任校長不同的是數(shù)學(xué)不歧視人You'renotthinkingabouttakinghisadvice,areyou?你不會是想用他的建議吧-Neveryoumind.-Buthe'swrong.-用不著你管-可是他是錯的Everybodyknowsyoupuntonfourthdown.大家都知道第四攻應(yīng)該棄踢Whydoeseverybodyknowingsomethingmakeitright?為什么大家都知道就等于它是對的Because.因為That'swhatmakesthiscountrygreat.美國就是因此而偉大Manyyearslater,許多年后mybrotherwouldusethissameargument我哥也用了這句話infrontofajudge.跟法官解釋Hewasstillconvictedforurinatinginaphonebooth.但他在電話亭里撒尿的事還是被定罪了Oh,damnit.靠I'llsendinthepuntingteam.我去讓棄踢手上場Hangon.Hangon.等等你等等What?怎么Let'sgoforit.繼續(xù)進攻Why?Wegotplentyoftime.為什么我們時間還很充足啊Iknow.Stillwanttogoforit.我知道還是想要繼續(xù)進攻We'reonthe12-yardline.Everybodyknowyoupunt.我們在12碼線上呢大家都知道該保守棄踢Whydoeseverybodyknowingsomethingmakeitright?誰說大家都知道就等于它是對的Butwe'reonthe12-yardline,Coach.但是在我們球門口啊教練Okay,Coachsayswe'regoingforit.教練讓我們繼續(xù)進攻Stupidbrother.白癡弟弟-What?-Nothing.-什么-沒事Powerleftjumboontwo,ontwo.Ready,break!左側(cè)突破準備散開AndyourWolvesaregoingforitonfourthdown.狼隊在第四攻選擇繼續(xù)進攻Whatthehell?Punt!什么鬼棄踢啊Statistically,they'rebetteroffgoingforit.數(shù)據(jù)上來說繼續(xù)進攻比較好-Sayswho?-Mylittleboy.-誰說的-我兒子That'swhyeverybodypunts.這就是為什么大家都棄踢Thatwasjustplainfoolishness.這簡直就是腦袋抽風Yourlittleboy'sarealgenius.你小兒子可真天才啊Well,actuallyheis.他還真是天才Comeon.不是吧Toomanymenonthefield,defense.犯規(guī)防守方場上人數(shù)過多Replayfourthdown.第四攻重來Ah.Thankyou,Jesus.感謝老天Now,canIsendinthepuntteam?我現(xiàn)在可以叫棄踢手上場了嗎Coach?教練Andthey'regoingforitagain.他們再度繼續(xù)進攻Whatthehell?Punt!什么鬼啊棄踢啊RemindmetotellyouaboutthetaxrefundIgotfromtheIRS.提醒我下次跟你說我拿到國稅局退稅的事Set.Hut!開始Go,go,go,go,go,go!上上上上上Go!Whoo!上啊Go,go,go!Go!沖啊沖啊He'satthe30,the20,the10.來到了30碼線20碼10碼Touchdown,Wolves!達陣得分狼隊Ineverhadanydoubt,Coach.Neverhadanydoubt.我就沒懷疑過你教練沒懷疑過Oh,booyah!Yes.看到?jīng)]太好啦Sweetdreams,baby.晚安啦寶貝Night,Meemaw.晚安姥姥CanIaskyouafavor?我能請你幫個忙嗎-Sure.What?-Youknowthosestatistics-可以啊什么事-你還記得thatyouweretalkingaboutwithyourdad?你跟你爸爸說的那些什么數(shù)據(jù)嗎Could...couldthatbeappliedto,say,那些數(shù)據(jù)也能套用到...whomightwintheCowboys-Packersgamenextweek?比如說下周的牛仔與包裝工隊比賽嗎And,morespecifically,byhowmuch?能不能更詳細到差多少分之類的IsupposewithenoughdataIcouldmakeareasonableguess.如果我有足夠數(shù)據(jù)應(yīng)該可以給出合理猜測Idon'twantaguess,Iwanttoknow.我不要猜測我要確切的Momsaidyou'renotsupposedtogamble.媽說不可以賭博Sleep,child!睡你的覺死小孩-Mom?-Inhere!-媽-在這里呢I'llgetthosenumberstoyoutomorrow.我明天把那些數(shù)據(jù)弄給你Justtuckinghimin.來哄他睡覺Igotsomethingforyou.我有東西給你It'sdirty.是臟的Well,that's'causeit'sthegameball.因為這是比賽用過的球Andyouearnedit,'causeyouhelpeduswin.這是你應(yīng)得的因為你幫我們贏了比賽Okay,butcanyouwashit?好吧但你能先洗一洗嗎Sheldon,yourdaddy'stellingyouhe'sproudofyou.謝爾頓你爸爸是在夸你以你為榮呢Isee.Thankyou,Dad.好吧謝謝你爸爸You'rewelcome.不客氣I'mstillnevertouchingthat.但我還是不要碰它Let'sgowipeitoff.去幫他擦干凈吧Forthenextfiveweeks,接下來的五周Icontinuedtohelpmyfatherapplystatistics我繼續(xù)幫我爸爸套用數(shù)據(jù)tocoachhisteam.來執(zhí)教他的隊伍Notsurprisingly,theycontinuedtowin,毫無意外地隊伍一直在贏whichchangedmystatusintheschooldramatically.這讓我在學(xué)校的地位沖上云霄-Thereheis!-Yo,Sheldon!-他來啦-謝爾頓Shel-dog!謝狗Mathman!數(shù)學(xué)哥Hey,cutie.小可愛Itwasanightmare.簡直就是一場惡夢Shel-dog!謝狗Hugging,hairtousling,highfives.擁抱弄亂頭發(fā)擊掌Andasmypopularitygrew,sodidmytimealoft.我的人氣沖上云霄我在空中的時間也長了Hey,I'vebeenlookingalloverforyou.我到處在找你呢Doyouknowhowpopularweare?你知道我們現(xiàn)在人氣有多高嗎-We?-Yeah.-我們嗎-對啊IputthewordoutIwashelpingyouwiththefootballstats.我放出消息說我有幫忙你算橄欖球的數(shù)據(jù)AndsinceI'mAsian,theyboughtit.他們看我是亞洲人就信了Well,I'mgladyou'reenjoyingit.你享受這感覺我替你高興You'renot?你不享受嗎Iwastouched82timesthisafternoon.今天一下午我被人摸了82次Whatdoyoumean,"touched"?你說"摸"是什么意思Notinappropriately.不是不合適地亂"摸"Joyfully.是開心地Affectionately.充滿熱情地Acheerleaderhuggedmetoherbosom.還有一個拉拉隊員抱我入她胸That'samazing.太爽了吧Nomorehighfives.我不要再擊掌了Ican'tkeepwashingmyhands.我不想一直洗手There'smylittleassistantcoach.這不是我的小助理教練嗎Hello,Dad.你好啊老爸Youhaveanymore,uh,arithmeticideas關(guān)于下星期的比賽fornextweek'sgame?還有什么算出來的小妙招嗎Ido,butI'mtryingtofinishmyhomework.有啊但我想先寫完作業(yè)Lookscomplicated.看起來很復(fù)雜啊Advancedchemistry.It'snot.這是高等化學(xué)不復(fù)雜啊Whatareyouguysdoing?你們在干嘛呢YourbrotherandIaregonnaknockaroundafewideas你弟弟跟我在討論討論下周fortheFreeportgame.對弗里波特隊的比賽打法CanIhelp?我能幫忙嗎Actually,yeah.Runouttomytruck.可以啊幫忙跑去我車上There'salittle,uh,pocketcalculatoronmyfrontseat.前座有一個口袋計算器Igotyouapresent.我有個禮物給你Thoughtitmighthelpwithyourfiguring.我想這個能幫忙你算Idon'tneedacalculator,Dad.Iamone.我不需要計算器啊爸我就是計算器Sure.行吧Gogetitanyway.還是去拿吧It'ssolar-powered.是太陽能的Canyouimaginethat?你能想象到嗎Georgie,turnthatdown!小喬治小聲點What?什么Andlookatthisroom.Youneedtocleanthismessup.看看你房間快給我整理干凈I'llgettoitlater.我等會再弄No,you'llgettoitnow.不行你現(xiàn)在就整理Idon'tfeellikeit.我不想Well,yourfeelingshavenothingtodowithit.不管你想不想都現(xiàn)在去打掃Andstopthrowingthatball.也不要再丟那個球了Myroombothersyousomuch,youcleanit.我房間讓你這么看了煩那你來打掃That'sit!Youaregrounded!Youhearme?!夠了你被禁足了聽到?jīng)]Thehell?怎么回事There'smylittleMoonpie.我的小餅餅Didyougetachancetolookatthisweek'sgamesforme?你抽空幫我看這周的比賽了嗎-Notyet.-Youunderstandthere'salittletimecrunchinvolved.-還沒-你知道沒剩多少時間了吧Meemaw'sgotsomeoutstandingloansIneedtopayback.姥姥有一些欠款得還上呢I'msorry,Ihavetofinishmyhomework抱歉但我得先寫完作業(yè)andthenIhavetohelpmydad.然后去幫完我爸爸之后才有空Comeon.來嘛I'myourmeemaw.我是你親愛的姥姥Imakeyoucookies.我還給你做餅干How'boutalittlequidproquo?咱們倆互利互惠一下如何AsmuchasIenjoyyouruseofLatin,no.雖然我挺喜歡你用成語但不了Shelly,timetogetreadyforbed.謝利該準備上床睡覺了ButI'mnotdone.我還沒寫完呢Don'tyousassme,too,youngman.小家伙別跟我頂嘴Brushyourteethandgettobed.去刷牙睡覺Ithinkyourangermightbealittlemisdirected.我覺得你的怒火有點發(fā)泄錯地方了Don'tyoustartwithmeeither.你也別來跟我挑事Now,see,you'restillshootin'wide.瞧你還是在拿旁人出氣Goodevening,Mrs.Cooper.晚上好庫珀太太CanIspeaktoSheldon?我能和謝爾頓聊聊嗎No,youcan'tspeaktoSheldon.不行你不能It'slate.He'sinbed.很晚了他已經(jīng)上床睡了Oh.Iwashopinghemightliketogotoapartywithme.我想問他要不要跟我一起去派對Haseveryonelosttheirmind?大家都集體發(fā)瘋了嗎He'salittleboy,Tam!他還是個孩子丹Goodnight!晚安GoodLord,thatmouthofyoursisamachineguntonight.天啊今晚你那張嘴好像機關(guān)槍似地Whatareyoudoing?你在干什么TryingtocalculatetheoddsoftheDolphins試著算出下周日海豚隊coveringthespreadnextSunday.讓分后贏的幾率Ilikedolphins.我喜歡海豚Theytalkoutofthatholeintheirhead.他們用腦袋上的洞來說話Hello.你好Tam?丹Whatareyoudoinghere?你怎么會在這兒Wouldyouliketogotoapartywithme?你愿意和我一起去派對嗎Idon'twanttogotoapartywithanyone.我不想和任何人一起去派對Iwould!我愿意Please,Sheldon.拜托了謝爾頓It'srightacrossthestreet.就在馬路對面Justgetmein,andyoucangobacktobed.帶我進去然后你就可以回來睡覺了Ihavetoaskmymom.我得先問下我媽媽Noneed.Sheknowsallabouttheparty.不用了她知道派對的事Allright,then.那好吧Ineedaminutetochange.給我一分鐘換身衣服-Whyareyouwearingthat?-Itmakesmelookolder.-你為什么穿這個-能讓我看起來成熟些Justsowe'reclear,onceyougetin,先把話說清楚一把你弄進去I'mgoinghome.我就回家了Hey!Sheldon!好呀謝爾頓Whatareyoudoing?你這是干什么Hey,everybody,checkitout!Sheldon'shere!各位快看啊謝爾頓來了Ihopethatdoesn'twakeupthekids.希望孩子們不會被那派對吵醒ShouldIgooverthereandsaysomething?要不要我去那邊說說他們Ithinkyoushould.我覺得有這必要Iwasbluffin'.我剛只是裝有心Don'tmakemeputmysocksbackon.別逼我把襪子穿回去Nevermind.算了Goodnight.晚安Goodnight.晚安IfeelbadaboutyellingatGeorgie.我朝小喬治大吼了我覺得很內(nèi)疚Hedeservedit.是他該罵Youshoulddoitmore.你應(yīng)該多吼他幾次Ithinkhe'sfeelingleftout我想他是覺得被冷落了nowthatyouandSheldonarespendingsomuchtimetogether.因為你和謝爾頓現(xiàn)在常黏在一起Areyoukiddin'me?你在逗我嗎You'realwayssayingtofindsomethingincommonwithSheldon.是你一直叫我找到和謝爾頓的共同話題AndnowthatIhave,you'retellingmeI'mignoringGeorgie?現(xiàn)在我找到了你又說我冷落小喬治了I'mnotsayingthat.我沒那么說I'mjustremindingyou我只是提醒你thatyougottwosons.你有兩個兒子Iknow.我知道IalsogotadaughterIneedtospendmoretimewith.我還有個也應(yīng)該多跟她相處的女兒Youdo.確實是的ButIwouldn'tworryabouther.但我不擔心她She'sanangel.她就是個小天使Sheldon!Sheldon!Sheldon!謝爾頓謝爾頓謝爾頓-Putmedown!-Sheldon!Sheldon!-放我下來-謝爾頓謝爾頓Isaidputmedown.快把我放下來Putmedown!I'mnotenjoyingthis!放我下來我不喜歡這樣Missy,whatareyoudoinghere?!米希你在這兒干嗎Cuttin'loose.Whatareyoudoinghere?放縱享樂你又在這兒干嗎Slowly!Slowly!慢點慢點Slowly!慢點You,too?!你也來了Hello,Georgie!你好小喬治You'renotsupposedtobehere.你不應(yīng)該來這里Neitherareyou!You'regrounded!你也不該來你被禁足了Comeon.走吧Bothofyouaregoinghome.Now.你們倆現(xiàn)在就給我回家-Oh,thankgoodness.-Aw.-謝天謝地-不要嘛How'spubertytreatingyou?青春期對你影響如何Becauseitisknockingmeforaloop.它可讓我長大了許多Right?對吧Somehow,myparentsdidn'tfindoutaboutmepartyingheartily.我父母居然沒發(fā)現(xiàn)我去縱情派對了ButIdidpayaprice但蠟燭兩頭燒forburningthecandleatbothends.確實讓我付出了代價Imadeamistakeonamathtest.我數(shù)學(xué)考試時犯了錯Inmyexhaustion,Ididallthecalculationsinmyhead,我太累了我在腦子里做了運算and,likeacommonzooanimal,forgottoshowmywork.結(jié)果像動物園里的動物一樣忘了寫出計算過程Ijustsawoneofthosegirlsfromtheparty,我剛遇到派對上的一個女生andsheacknowledgedmyexistencebydoingthis.她對我做了這個動作像承認了我的存在I'veneverfeltsoalive.人生首次感到如此有存在感Areyouokay?你還好嗎No,I'mnot.不好Yeah,so?這又怎么樣AB-plus--that'sthebeginningoftheend.B+這是走向終點的開始Theendofwhat?什么終點Mylife.我的人生IfIdon'tmakesomechanges,whoknowshowfarI'llfall.如果我不做出改變誰知道我會墮落到什么地步Icouldwindupadrugaddict,oralawyer.說不定我會變成癮君子或律師Isitpossibleyou'reoverreacting?你會不會反應(yīng)過激了No.Startingtoday,I'mdonehelpingthefootballteam.不從今天起我不再幫橄欖球隊了Butifyoudothat,girlswillnolongergreetmelikethis.你這樣妹子們再也不會這么跟我打招呼了I'llgreetyoulikethat.我會這么跟你打招呼It'snotthesame.這不一樣啦Extricatingmyselffromthissituation讓我自己從這些事中抽身wasnotgoingtobeeasy.并非易事Myfatherwascountingonme,Meemawwascountingonme,我父親指望著我我姥姥指望著我theschoolwascountingonme.學(xué)校也指望著我Aftermuchthought,Idecidedtoemploy深思熟慮后我決定theonestrategicmaneuverIknewIcouldcounton.采取最靠得住的戰(zhàn)略策略Itattled.打小報告Mom?媽媽SheldongotaB-plus!That'sterribleforhim!謝爾頓得了B+真是太糟糕了I'mverydisappointedinallthreeofyou.我對你們?nèi)齻€非常失望Thatisright.Missy,thisisforyourballetclass.沒錯米希這是給你上芭蕾課穿的Wedonotgotoparties.你們不許去派對玩Iamverydisappointed.我非常失望Gottogopickupsomeequipmentfortheteam;youwanttojoinme?我要去給隊伍弄些裝備你想一起去嗎Can't.I'mgrounded.去不了我被禁足了Yeah,well...是啊不過Iwon'ttellifyouwon't.你不說我也不會說出去Sheldongoing?謝爾頓去嗎Thatlittlesnitch?Absolutelynot.那個背信棄義的小崽子當然不去Sheldonstillgonnahelpyouwiththemath?謝爾頓還會幫你算數(shù)嗎Idon'tthinkso.我想不會了ButIdidhearhislittleAsianfriendcandoit.但我聽說他那個亞洲人朋友也會算Hello.你好So...話說Oilersareafour-pointfavoriteforthisSunday'sgame,這個周日油工隊賠率是讓四分butit'sahomegame,soI'mthinkingIgivethepoints.但是是油工隊主場所以我想賭主隊讓分贏盤Whatdoyouthink?你覺得呢IthinkIhaveto