2021/5/91

Withagianttearinhereye,thelittlegirllookedupathim.Sheforcedasmile,saying“Thankyou”andwalkedtowardsthedoor.Pappythoughtofhisdaughterandsaidtothegirlloudly,“Howmuchhaveyougottospend?”Hearingthis,thelittlegirlcountedmoneyinherpurse---twodollars.Afterthinkingforafewseconds,Pappysaid,“TodayisChristmasDayandthisisyourluckyday.Thebellcoststwodollars.”Thechildwentout,holdingthespecialbellinherhand.Gradethestory2021/5/92

LaterthateveningwhenPappywasclosinguptheshop,heheardafamiliarringing.Hecouldn’tbelievehisears.Thegirlstoodinthedoorway,ringingthebellhappily.ThenPappygotclosetoherandasked,“Haveyouchangedyourmind,Miss?”“No.MyMommasaysthepresentisforyou.”saidthechild.BeforePappyhadtimetosayanotherword,ayoungwomanwalkedin.ShesaidtoPappy,“Hello,

Dad.”2021/5/93Howtopolishyourstory?2021/5/94潤色文章的技巧

技巧1.使用較高級的詞匯2.使用較豐富的句式3.使用恰當(dāng)?shù)倪B接詞properconjunctionsabundantsentencepatterns

advancedwordsandphrases2021/5/95Howtopolishyourwords?“小”心思——豐滿人物內(nèi)心Innerthoughtstoportraythefigures“小”詞匯——增加表達(dá)效果Detailedverbstomakeexpressionspowerful“小”細(xì)節(jié)——豐富故事情節(jié)Properadvtoenrichyourstory2021/5/96Tip1：“小”心思——豐滿人物內(nèi)心悲傷快樂2016年10月高考作文23分2021/5/97Tip1：“小”心思——豐滿人物內(nèi)心震驚2017年6月高考作文

23分2021/5/98Oneday,theBrother,whohadbecomeaMonk,forcedhimselfonthesameroadwherehefoundaccommodationyearsago.①Hedecidedtovisitthefamily.②Buttheshabbycottagewasnowheretobefound.Heonlyfoundasplendidhouse.③Hethoughtthefamilymightdie.Suddenly,amancameout.Themonkrecognizedhim.Itwasthefatherofthefamily.Soheasked,“Haveyoulivedhere?”Tip1：“小”心思——豐滿人物內(nèi)心2021/5/99Oneday,theBrother,whohadbecomeaMonk,forcedhimselfonthesameroadwherehefoundaccommodationyearsago.①Drivenbyasenseofregret,hedecidedtovisitthefamily.②Tohisgreatsurprise,theshabbycottagewasnowheretobefound.Heonlyfoundasplendidhouse.③Uponthinkingthefamilymighthavestarvedtodeath,hesighedwithguilt.Suddenly,amancameout.Themonkrecognizedhim.Itwasthefatherofthefamily.Soheasked,“Haveyoulivedhere?”Tip1：“小”心思——豐滿人物內(nèi)心2021/5/910Let’scompare！

①Hedecidedtovisitthefamily.②Buttheshabbycottagewasnowheretobefound.Heonlyfoundasplendidhouse.③Hethoughtthefamilymightdie.①Drivenbyasenseofregret,hedecidedtovisitthefamily.②Tohisgreatsurprise,theshabbycottagewasnowheretobefound.Heonlyfoundasplendidhouse.③Uponthinkingthefamilymighthavestarvedtodeath,hesighedwithguilt.Inconclusion，thedescriptionofinnerthoughtscanmakeourstorymorelogical,reasonable,creativeandpowerful.2021/5/911Howtodescribeyourinnerfeelings?1.Feelinghappy/sad/angry/guilty/depressed…,2.Drivenbycuriosity/asenseofregret/sympathy….或者是Deeplytouched/movedby…3.….,fullofregret/anger/fear/gratitude/sadness…4.Toone’sdisappointment/surprise/delight/relief/astonishment…5.insurprise/relief/anger或者是withsatisfaction/excitement(等于一個副詞）6.具體的動作描寫standfrozen,jumpwithjoy,tremblewithanger,withtearsfillingone’seyes,withone’seyeswideopen等等2021/5/912Let’shaveatry!1.Pappysaidtothegirl,“Howmuchhaveyougottospend?”Drivenbyasenseofsympathy,Pappysaidtothegirl,“Howmuchhaveyougottospend?”2.Thechildwalkedout,holdingthespecialbellinherhands.Thechildwentoutwithgreatjoy,holdingthespecialbellinherhands.2021/5/9133.ThenPappygotclosetoherandasked,“Haveyouchangedyourmind,Miss?”Feelingpuzzled,Pappygotclosetoherandasked,“Haveyouchangedyourmind,Miss?”4.ShesaidtoPappy,“Hello,

Dad.”Withtearsfillinghereyes,shesaidtoPappycheerfully,“Hello,

Dad.”2021/5/914

Withagianttearinhereye,thelittlegirllookedupathim.Sheforcedasmile,saying“Thankyou”andwalkedtowardsthedoor.Pappythoughtofhisdaughter.Drivenbyasenseofsympathy,Pappysaidtothegirlloudly,“Howmuchhaveyougottospend?”Hearingthis,thelittlegirlcountedmoneyinherpurse---twodollars.Afterthinkingforafewseconds,Pappysaid,“TodayisChristmasDayandthisisyourluckyday.Thebellcoststwodollars.”Thechildwentoutwithgreatjoy,holdingthespecialbellinherhand.2021/5/915LaterthateveningwhenPappywasclosinguptheshop,heheardafamiliarringing.Hecouldn’tbelievehisears.Thegirlstoodinthedoorway,ringingthebellhappily.Feelingpuzzled,Pappygotclosetoherandasked,“Haveyouchangedyourmind,Miss?”“No.MyMommasaysthepresentisforyou.”saidthechild.BeforePappyhadtimetosayanotherword,ayoungwomanwalkedin.Tearsfillinghereyes,shesaidtoPappycheerfully,“Hello,

Dad.”2021/5/916Tip2：“小”詞匯——增加表達(dá)效果Brainstorming:tell

saywhisper

murmur

speaktalk

cryout

shout

respond

reply

explain

scream

roar

announce

declare

yell…callout2021/5/917①Thegovernment_________astateofemergency.②

“Getoutofmyhouse!”Theofficer______.③He_________somethinginhissleep.④Seeingthefilmstar,thefans________withexcitement.⑤Askedwhyhewaslate,Alex________thathiscarhadbrokendown.Tip2：“小”詞匯——增加表達(dá)效果declaredroaredmurmuredscreamedexplained2021/5/9181.Thegirlforcedasmile,saying“Thankyou.”andturnedtowardsthedoor.2.Drivenbyasenseofsympathy,Pappysaidtothegirlloudly,“Howmuchhaveyougottospend,Missy?”Let’shaveatry!murmuringcalledout2021/5/9193.Afterthinkingforafewseconds,Pappysaid,“TodayisChristmasDayandthisisyourluckyDay.”4.“No.MyMommasaysthepresentisforyou.”saidthechild.5.Tearsfillinghereyes,shesaidcheerfully,“Hello,Dad.”announcedexplainedcriedout2021/5/920Whatyouaresupposedtobearinmind:只要是記敘文，難以逃脫的動作描寫肯定有，動嘴，動手與動腳。除了熟知各種說的表達(dá)方式外，請記住各種看，和各種走Eg:see,watch,observe,peep,lookaround,lookback,stareat,glareat,glanceat,catchsightof,losesightof,etcEg:walk,run,wander,dash,strollaround,pacebackandforth,stepinto,makeone’swayto,danceout,etc2021/5/9211.Sheforcedasmile,murmuring

“Thankyou”andwalkedtowardsthedoor.2Thechildwentoutwithgreatjoy,holdingthespecialbellinherhand.3.BeforePappyhadtimetosayanotherword,ayoungwomanwalkedin.Tip2：“小”詞匯——增加表達(dá)效果makeherwaytodancedoutsteppedin2021/5/922

Withagianttearinhereye,thelittlegirllookedupathim.Sheforcedasmile,murmuring“Thankyou”andmadeherwaytothedoor.Pappythoughtofhisdaughter.Drivenbyasenseofsympathy,Pappycalledout,“Howmuchhaveyougottospend?”Hearingthis,thelittlegirlcountedmoneyinherpurse---twodollars.Afterthinkingforafewseconds,Pappyannounced,“TodayisChristmasDayandthisisyourluckyday.Thebellcoststwodollars.”Thechilddancedoutwithgreatjoy,holdingthespecialbellinherhand.2021/5/923LaterthateveningwhenPappywasclosinguptheshop,heheardafamiliarringing.Hecouldn’tbelievehisears.Thegirlstoodinthedoorway,ringingthebellhappily.Feelingpuzzled,Pappygotclosetoherandasked,“Haveyouchangedyourmind,Miss?”“No.MyMommasaysthepresentisforyou.”explainedthechild.BeforePappyhadtimetosayanotherword,ayoungwomansteppedin.Tearsfillinghereyes,shecriedoutcheerfully,“Hello,

Dad.”2021/5/924Topic：ashockingknifeattackFromBook5Unit5—FirstAidAnneSlade,motherofthree,hadbeenstabbed________withaknife.Shewaslyinginherfrontgardenbleedingvery______.Herhandshad________beencutoff.Tip3：“小”細(xì)節(jié)——豐富故事情節(jié)

repeatedly

heavily

almost2021/5/925

Withagianttearinhereye,thelittlegirllookedupathim.Sheforcedasmile,murmuring“Thankyou”andmadeherwaytothedoor.