題目Alexis

Vaughan,17,satquietlyinthepassengerseatofherdad's

car.ShestaredoutthewindowatthePreston,Idaho,cornfields.Alexis,ahighschoolstudent,lethereyeslazilyscanthelandscapeforwildlife.Still,shewasterrifiedwhenadeercameintoviewabout200yardsinfrontofthem,justafewfeetoffthe

road."Dad,there'sadeer,there!"Alexissaid,rollingdownthewindowforabetterlook.Itwasathree-point

buck(雄鹿)---amaledeerwithsharp,three-prongedantlers(角)oneachsideofitshead．Asthecarmovedcloser,Alexissawthatthebuck'sheadwasbenttowardthe

ground．Thensheheardascream.Afewsecondslater,shesawanarmflyupnearthebuck'shead．Alexisrealizedthebuckwasattackingawoman.

Sue

Panter,a44-year-oldmother,hadbeenoutforhermorningrun.Thebuckhadcomeoutfromthetallcornandbeganfollowingher.HavinglivedinruralIdahoforyears,Sueknewthatmostbucksgotfrightenedbyhumans.Butthisbuckedgedcloser,evenwhenshethrewatitwithahandfulofgravels(石子).Suewenttopickupalogtouseforself-defense,andthebuckcharged．Itliftedherwithitsantlersandthrewherintotheair.Suecouldfeelthehornspunctured(刺穿)her

leg

andbloodfloweddownherleg．Withinseconds,thebuckhadpushedherofftheroadandintothecornfield.WhenAlexisandherfatherpulledup,thebuckwasrollingSuelikearagdoll．Alexislookedintothewoman's

terrified

eyes,andbeforeherfatherhadevenstoppedthecar,the104poundteenagerjumpedquicklyoutofthecaranddowntheslopetowardthebuck.Shewaskickingandhittingittogetitsattention.Then

Michael,herfather,whohadfollowedhisdaughter,wrestledthebuckawayfromthewomenbyholdingtheantlers.Paragraph1:AlexishelpedSueuptheslope.Paragraph2:Thensheheardherfatheryell.破題文章主要講的是一對父女（Alexis和Micheal）開車到野外的時候，看到一頭雄鹿正在攻擊一名婦女（Sue），然后下車營救的故事。原文結(jié)尾，父親（Micheal）把雄鹿支開了。續(xù)寫的第一段，Alexis扶著Sue到了一個斜坡上，然后繼續(xù)寫。我們先來一起構(gòu)思一下情節(jié)。情節(jié)構(gòu)思的方法有很多，我這里想用羅伯特·麥基的《故事》中講的方法來構(gòu)思。他在《故事》中是這樣寫的：你已經(jīng)決定某一個特定的事件必須在你的故事中發(fā)生，一個將要進展和轉(zhuǎn)折的情景。如何寫出一個富有見地的情感場景？你問：“如果我是這個人物，我會怎么做？”采用斯坦尼斯拉夫斯基的“魔術(shù)般的如果”，你會去扮演這個角色。當(dāng)一個場景對我們來說具有情感上的意義時，我們便可以相信，它對觀眾來說也同樣具有意義。羅伯特·麥基《故事》非常簡單，但是非常有效。不要問“我的人物會怎么做？”而是問“我是這個人物，我要怎么做”。我們可以想一下，如果我是Sue，“我”此時最想要得到的是什么？很明顯，“我”受傷了，“我”被雄鹿刺殺了大腿，“我”要馬上得到救治，這是“我”最想要的東西。如果我是Alexis，“我”看到有人受傷，“我”第一個想到肯定也是幫忙救治，所以“我”會回到車上，拿出繃帶幫Sue包扎。同時，“我”會想著父親的安危。這就是第一段。然而，“我”聽到了父親的喊叫聲，這個喊叫聲當(dāng)然不是父親戰(zhàn)勝雄鹿后勝利的大叫，而是不敵雄鹿的叫聲。那“我”要做的就是如何幫助父親解圍。這里也是這篇文章構(gòu)思的難點。很多人會寫“拿槍”，畢竟美國嘛?！澳脴尅辈⒉皇遣豢梢?，只是我們有更好的東西。在這個場景當(dāng)中，有一樣?xùn)|西體型比鹿大，而且還能發(fā)出奇怪聲響，并且還是一個關(guān)鍵詞，那就是“車”，所以“我”可以回到車上，狂按喇叭和大燈，然后慢慢把車開過去，把鹿嚇跑。下水作文Alexis

helped

Sue

uptheslope.Behindthemwasascarlettrail.Suewashurtprettybad.Shewascompletelynumband

terrified,hereyesfilledwithfearandpain.Alexisrushedbacktothe

car

andbrouhgtoutthe

first-aidkit.Shehelpedsuestopbleedingbyusingbandagesfirst.Inthemeantime,she

couldn’thelpgivingquickglancesinherfather’sdirection.Michealwasstill

tanglingwith

thebuck.Theyweresafe

forthetimebeing.Thensheheardherfatheryell.Sheturnedaround.Whatshesawshockedandterrifiedher----herfatherwaspresseddowntothe

ground

withpuncturedabdomen.Theanimal,however,didn'tseemtostop.

Itrighteditself,preparingforanothercharge.Alexisdashedtothecarandstartedengine.She

blewthehorn

and

flashedtheheadlights

withallhermight.Luckily,it

gotthebuck'sattention.Withthecardrewnearer,it

sprintedintothewoods.

Alexisgotoutthecarto

seetoher

father.

Micheal

andSuewasbroughttotheemergencyroomafterwards.Whatanarrowescape!詞句積累1.

Behindthemwasascarlet

trail：他們后面有一天鮮紅的血跡?！居昧说寡b。scarlet：鮮紅的。漫威緋紅女巫就是這個詞：ScarletWitch】2.

first-aidkit:急救包3.

couldn't

helpgivingquickglancesinherfather'sdirection：忍不住往父親的方向瞥4.

tanglewith：與……糾纏5.

Itrighteditself：讓自己站穩(wěn)，扶正【熟詞生義，right[v.]:toputsomethingbackinto