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Chapter23

AsplendidMidsummershoneoverEngland:skiessopure,sunssoradiantaswerethenseeninlongsuccession,seldomfavourevensingly,ourwave-girtland.ItwasasifabandofItaliandayshadcomefromtheSouth,likeaflockofgloriouspassengerbirds,andlightedtorestthemonthecliffsofAlbion.Thehaywasallgotin;thefieldsroundThornfieldweregreenandshorn;theroadswhiteandbaked;thetreeswereintheirdarkprime;hedgeandwood,full-leavedanddeeplytinted,contrastedwellwiththesunnyhueoftheclearedmeadowsbetween.

OnMidsummer-eve,Adele,wearywithgatheringwildstrawberriesinHayLanehalftheday,hadgonetobedwiththesun.Iwatchedherdropasleep,andwhenIlefther,Isoughtthegarden.

Itwasnowthesweetesthourofthetwenty-four:-“Dayitsfervidfireshadwasted,”anddewfellcoolonpantingplainandscorchedsummit.Wherethesunhadgonedowninsimplestate—pureofthepompofclouds—spreadasolemnpurple,burningwiththelightofredjewelandfurnaceflameatonepoint,ononehill-peak,andextendinghighandwide,softandstillsofter,overhalfheaven.Theeasthaditsowncharmorfinedeepblue,anditsownmodestgem,acasinoandsolitarystar:soonitwouldboastthemoon;butshewasyetbeneaththehorizon.

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Iwalkedawhileonthepavement;butasubtle,well-knownscent—thatofacigar—stolefromsomewindow;Isawthelibrarycasementopenahandbreadth;IknewImightbewatchedthence;soIwentapartintotheorchard.NonookinthegroundsmoreshelteredandmoreEden-like;itwasfulloftrees,itbloomedwithflowers:averyhighwallshutitoutfromthecourt,ononeside;ontheother,abeechavenuescreeneditfromthelawn.Atthebottomwasasunkfence;itssoleseparationfromlonelyfields:awindingwalk,borderedwithlaurelsandterminatinginagianthorse-chestnut,circledatthebasebyaseat,leddowntothefence.Hereonecouldwanderunseen.Whilesuchhoney-dewfell,suchsilencereigned,suchgloaminggathered,IfeltasifIcouldhauntsuchshadeforever;butinthreadingtheflowerandfruitparterresattheupperpartoftheenclosure,enticedtherebythelightthenowrisingmooncastonthismoreopenquarter,mystepisstayed—notbysound,notbysight,butoncemorebyawarningfragrance.

Sweet-briarandsouthernwood,jasmine,pink,androsehavelongbeenyieldingtheireveningsacrificeofincense:thisnewscentisneitherofshrubnorflower;itis—Iknowitwell—itisMr.Rochester’scigar.IlookroundandIlisten.Iseetreesladenwithripeningfruit.Ihearanightingalewarblinginawoodhalfamileoff;nomovingformisvisible,nocomingstepaudible;butthatperfumeincreases:Imustflee.Imakeforthewicketleadingtotheshrubbery,andIseeMr.Rochesterentering.Istepasideintotheivyrecess;hewillnotstay

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long:hewillsoonreturnwhencehecame,andifIsitstillhewillneverseeme.Butno—eventideisaspleasanttohimastome,andthisantiquegardenasattractive;andhestrollson,nowliftingthegooseberry-treebranchestolookatthefruit,largeasplums,withwhichtheyareladen;nowtakingaripecherryfromthewall;nowstoopingtowardsaknotofflowers,eithertoinhaletheirfragranceortoadmirethedew-beadsontheirpetals.Agreatmothgoeshummingbyme;italightsonaplantatMr.Rochester’s

foot:heseesit,andbendstoexamineit.“Now,hehashisbacktowardsme,”thoughtI,“andheisoccupiedtoo;perhaps,ifIwalksoftly,Icanslipawayunnoticed.”

Itrodeonanedgingofturfthatthecrackleofthe

pebblygravelmightnotbetrayme:hewasstandingamongthebedsatayardortwodistantfromwhereIhadtopass;themothapparentlyengagedhim.“Ishallgetbyverywell,”Imeditated.AsIcrossedhisshadow,thrownlongoverthegardenbythemoon,notyetrisenhigh,hesaidquietly,withoutturning-“Jane,comeandlookatthisfellow.”

Ihadmadenonoise:hehadnoteyesbehind—couldhisshadowfeel?Istartedatfirst,andthenIapproachedhim.

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“Lookathiswings,”saidhe,“heremindsmeratherofaWestIndianinsect;onedoesnotoftenseesolargeandgayanight-roverinEngland;there!heisflown.”

Themothroamedaway.Iwassheepishlyretreatingalso;butMr.Rochesterfollowedme,andwhenwereachedthewicket,hesaid-

“Turnback:onsolovelyanightitisashametositinthehouse;andsurelynoonecanwishtogotobedwhilesunsetisthusatmeetingwithmoonrise.”

Itisoneofmyfaults,thatthoughmytongueissometimespromptenoughatananswer,therearetimeswhenitsadlyfailsmeinframinganexcuse;andalwaysthelapseoccursatsomecrisis,whenafacilewordorplausiblepretextisspeciallywantedtogetmeoutofpainfulembarrassment.IdidnotliketowalkatthishouralonewithMr.Rochesterintheshadowyorchard;butIcouldnotfindareasontoallegeforleavinghim.Ifollowedwithlaggingstep,andthoughtsbusilybentondiscoveringameansofextrication;buthehimselflookedsocomposedandsogravealso,Ibecameashamedoffeelinganyconfusion:theevil—ifevilexistentorprospectivetherewas—seemedtoliewithmeonly;hismindwasunconsciousandquiet.

“Jane,”herecommenced,asweenteredthelaurelwalk,andslowlystrayeddowninthedirectionofthesunkfenceandthehorse-chestnut,“Thornfieldisapleasant

placeinsummer,isitnot?”

“Yes,sir.”

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“Youmusthavebecomeinsomedegreeattachedtothehouse,—you,whohaveaneyefornaturalbeauties,

andagooddealoftheorganofAdhesiveness?”“Iamattachedtoit,indeed.”

“AndthoughIdon’tcomprehendhowitis,IperceiveyouhaveacquiredadegreeofregardforthatfoolishlittlechildAdele,too;andevenforsimpledameFairfax?”

“Yes,sir;indifferentways,Ihaveanaffectionforboth.”

“Andwouldbesorrytopartwiththem?”

“Yes.”

“Pity!”hesaid,andsighedandpaused.“Itisalwaysthewayofeventsinthislife,”hecontinuedpresently:“nosoonerhaveyougotsettledinapleasantresting-place,thanavoicecallsouttoyoutoriseandmoveon,forthehourofreposeisexpired.”

“MustImoveon,sir?”Iasked.“MustIleaveThornfield?”

“Ibelieveyoumust,Jane.Iamsorry,Janet,butIbelieveindeedyoumust.”

Thiswasablow:butIdidnotletitprostrateme.

“Well,sir,Ishallbereadywhentheordertomarchcomes.”

“Itiscomenow—Imustgiveitto-night.”

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“ThenyouAREgoingtobemarried,sir?”

“Ex-act-ly—pre-cise-ly:withyourusualacuteness,youhavehitthenailstraightonthehead.”

“Soon,sir?”

“Verysoon,my—thatis,MissEyre:andyou’llremember,Jane,thefirsttimeI,orRumour,plainlyintimatedtoyouthatitwasmyintentiontoputmyoldbachelor’sneckintothesacrednoose,toenterintotheholyestateofmatrimony—totakeMissIngramtomybosom,inshort(she’sanextensivearmful:butthat’snottothepoint—onecan’thavetoomuchofsuchaveryexcellentthingasmybeautifulBlanche):well,asIwassaying—listentome,Jane!You’renotturningyourheadtolookaftermoremoths,areyou?Thatwasonlyalady-clock,child,‘flyingawayhome.’Iwishtoremindyouthatitwasyouwhofirstsaidtome,withthatdiscretionIrespectinyou—withthatforesight,prudence,andhumilitywhichbefityourresponsibleanddependentposition—thatincaseImarriedMissIngram,bothyouandlittleAdelehadbettertrotforthwith.Ipassoverthesortofslurconveyedinthissuggestiononthecharacterofmybeloved;indeed,whenyouarefaraway,Janet,I’lltrytoforgetit:Ishallnoticeonlyitswisdom;whichissuchthatIhavemadeitmylawofaction.Adelemustgotoschool;andyou,MissEyre,mustgetanewsituation.”

“Yes,sir,Iwilladvertiseimmediately:andmeantime,Isuppose—“Iwasgoingtosay,“IsupposeImaystayhere,tillIfindanothersheltertobetakemyselfto:”but

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Istopped,feelingitwouldnotdotoriskalongsentence,formyvoicewasnotquiteundercommand.

“InaboutamonthIhopetobeabridegroom,”continuedMr.Rochester;“andintheinterim,Ishallmyselflookoutforemploymentandanasylumforyou.”

“Thankyou,sir;Iamsorrytogive—“

“Oh,noneedtoapologise!Iconsiderthatwhenadependentdoesherdutyaswellasyouhavedoneyours,shehasasortofclaimuponheremployerforanylittleassistancehecanconvenientlyrenderher;indeedIhavealready,throughmyfuturemother-in-law,heardofaplacethatIthinkwillsuit:itistoundertaketheeducationofthefivedaughtersofMrs.DionysiusO’GallofBitternuttLodge,Connaught,Ireland.You’lllikeIreland,Ithink:they’resuchwarm-

heartedpeoplethere,theysay.”

“Itisalongwayoff,sir.”

“Nomatter—agirlofyoursensewillnotobjecttothevoyageorthedistance.”

“Notthevoyage,butthedistance:andthentheseaisabarrier—“

“Fromwhat,Jane?”

“FromEnglandandfromThornfield:and—““Well?”

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“FromYOU,sir.”

Isaidthisalmostinvoluntarily,and,withaslittlesanctionoffreewill,mytearsgushedout.Ididnotcrysoastobeheard,however;Iavoidedsobbing.ThethoughtofMrs.O’GallandBitternuttLodgestruckcoldtomyheart;andcolderthethoughtofallthebrineandfoam,destined,asitseemed,torushbetweenmeandthemasteratwhosesideInowwalked,andcoldesttheremembranceofthewiderocean—wealth,caste,customintervenedbetweenmeandwhatInaturallyandinevitablyloved.

“Itisalongway,”Iagainsaid.

“Itis,tobesure;andwhenyougettoBitternuttLodge,Connaught,Ireland,Ishallneverseeyouagain,Jane:that’smorallycertain.InevergoovertoIreland,nothavingmyselfmuchofafancyforthecountry.We

havebeengoodfriends,Jane;havewenot?”

“Yes,sir.”

“Andwhenfriendsareontheeveofseparation,theyliketospendthelittletimethatremainstothemclosetoeachother.Come!we’lltalkoverthevoyageandthepartingquietlyhalf-an-hourorso,whilethestarsenterintotheirshininglifeupinheavenyonder:hereisthechestnuttree:hereisthebenchatitsoldroots.Come,wewillsitthereinpeaceto-night,thoughweshouldnevermorebedestinedtosittheretogether.”Heseatedmeandhimself.

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“ItisalongwaytoIreland,Janet,andIamsorrytosendmylittlefriendonsuchwearytravels:butifIcan’tdobetter,howisittobehelped?Areyouanythingakintome,doyouthink,Jane?”

Icouldrisknosortofanswerbythistime:myheartwasstill.

“Because,”hesaid,“Isometimeshaveaqueerfeelingwithregardtoyou—especiallywhenyouarenearme,asnow:itisasifIhadastringsomewhereundermyleftribs,tightlyandinextricablyknottedtoasimilarstringsituatedinthecorrespondingquarterofyourlittleframe.AndifthatboisterousChannel,andtwohundredmilesorsooflandcomebroadbetweenus,Iamafraidthatcordofcommunionwillbesnapt;andthenI’veanervousnotionIshouldtaketobleedinginwardly.Asforyou,—you’dforgetme.”

“ThatINEVERshould,sir:Youknow—“Impossibletoproceed.

“Jane,doyouhearthatnightingalesinginginthewood?Listen!”

Inlistening,Isobbedconvulsively;forIcouldrepresswhatIendurednolonger;Iwasobligedtoyield,andIwasshakenfromheadtofootwithacutedistress.WhenIdidspeak,itwasonlytoexpressanimpetuouswishthatIhadneverbeenborn,ornevercometoThornfield.

“Becauseyouaresorrytoleaveit?”

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Thevehemenceofemotion,stirredbygriefandlovewithinme,wasclaimingmastery,andstrugglingforfullsway,andassertingarighttopredominate,toovercome,tolive,rise,andreignatlast:yes,—andtospeak.

“IgrievetoleaveThornfield:IloveThornfield:-Iloveit,becauseIhavelivedinitafullanddelightfullife,—momentarilyatleast.Ihavenotbeentrampledon.Ihavenotbeenpetrified.Ihavenotbeenburiedwithinferiorminds,andexcludedfromeveryglimpseofcommunionwithwhatisbrightandenergeticandhigh.Ihavetalked,facetoface,withwhatIreverence,withwhatIdelightin,—withanoriginal,avigorous,anexpandedmind.Ihaveknownyou,Mr.Rochester;anditstrikesmewithterrorandanguishtofeelIabsolutelymustbetornfromyouforever.Iseethenecessityofdeparture;anditislikelookingonthenecessityofdeath.”

“Wheredoyouseethenecessity?”heaskedsuddenly.“Where?You,sir,haveplaceditbeforeme.”“Inwhatshape?”

“IntheshapeofMissIngram;anobleandbeautifulwoman,—yourbride.”

“Mybride!Whatbride?Ihavenobride!”

“Butyouwillhave.”

“Yes;—Iwill!—Iwill!”Hesethisteeth.

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“ThenImustgo:-youhavesaidityourself.”

“No:youmuststay!Iswearit—andtheoathshallbekept.”

“ItellyouImustgo!”Iretorted,rousedtosomethinglikepassion.“DoyouthinkIcanstaytobecomenothingtoyou?DoyouthinkIamanautomaton?—amachinewithoutfeelings?andcanbeartohavemymorselofbreadsnatchedfrommylips,andmydropoflivingwaterdashedfrommycup?Doyouthink,becauseIampoor,obscure,plain,andlittle,Iamsoullessandheartless?Youthinkwrong!—Ihaveasmuchsoulasyou,—andfullasmuchheart!AndifGodhadgiftedmewithsomebeautyandmuchwealth,Ishouldhavemadeitashardforyoutoleaveme,asitisnowformetoleaveyou.Iamnottalkingtoyounowthroughthemediumofcustom,conventionalities,norevenofmortalflesh;—itismyspiritthataddressesyourspirit;justasifbothhadpassedthroughthegrave,andwestoodatGod’sfeet,equal,—asweare!”

“Asweare!”repeatedMr.Rochester—“so,”headded,enclosingmeinhisarms.Gatheringmetohisbreast,pressinghislipsonmylips:“so,Jane!”

“Yes,so,sir,”Irejoined:“andyetnotso;foryouareamarriedman—orasgoodasamarriedman,andwedtooneinferiortoyou—toonewithwhomyouhavenosympathy—whomIdonotbelieveyoutrulylove;forIhaveseenandheardyousneerather.Iwouldscornsuchaunion:thereforeIambetterthanyou—letmego!”

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“Where,Jane?ToIreland?”

“Yes—toIreland.Ihavespokenmymind,andcangoanywherenow.”

“Jane,bestill;don’tstruggleso,likeawildfranticbirdthatisrendingitsownplumageinitsdesperation.”

“Iamnobird;andnonetensnaresme;Iamafreehumanbeingwithanindependentwill,whichInowexerttoleaveyou.”

Anothereffortsetmeatliberty,andIstooderectbeforehim.

“Andyourwillshalldecideyourdestiny,”hesaid:“Iofferyoumyhand,myheart,andashareofallmypossessions.”

“Youplayafarce,whichImerelylaughat.”

“Iaskyoutopassthroughlifeatmyside—tobemysecondself,andbestearthlycompanion.”

“Forthatfateyouhavealreadymadeyourchoice,andmustabidebyit.”

“Jane,bestillafewmoments:youareover-excited:Iwillbestilltoo.”

Awaftofwindcamesweepingdownthelaurel-walk,andtrembledthroughtheboughsofthechestnut:itwanderedaway—away—toanindefinitedistance—itdied.Thenightingale’ssongwasthentheonlyvoiceofthehour:inlisteningtoit,Iagainwept.Mr.

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Rochestersatquiet,lookingatmegentlyandseriously.Sometimepassedbeforehespoke;heatlastsaid-

“Cometomyside,Jane,andletusexplainandunderstandoneanother.”

“Iwillneveragaincometoyourside:Iamtornawaynow,andcannotreturn.”

“But,Jane,Isummonyouasmywife:itisyouonlyIintendtomarry.”

Iwassilent:Ithoughthemockedme.

“Come,Jane—comehither.”

“Yourbridestandsbetweenus.”

Herose,andwithastridereachedme.

“Mybrideishere,”hesaid,againdrawingmetohim,“becausemyequalishere,andmylikeness.Jane,willyoumarryme?”

StillIdidnotanswer,andstillIwrithedmyselffromhisgrasp:forIwasstillincredulous.

“Doyoudoubtme,Jane?”

“Entirely.”

“Youhavenofaithinme?”

“Notawhit.”

“AmIaliarinyoureyes?”heaskedpassionately.“Littlesceptic,youSHALLbeconvinced.WhatlovehaveIfor

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MissIngram?None:andthatyouknow.Whatlovehassheforme?None:asIhavetakenpainstoprove:Icausedarumourtoreachherthatmyfortunewasnotathirdofwhatwassupposed,andafterthatIpresentedmyselftoseetheresult;itwascoldnessbothfromherandhermother.Iwouldnot—Icouldnot—marryMissIngram.You—youstrange,youalmostunearthlything!—Iloveasmyownflesh.You—poorandobscure,andsmallandplainasyouare—Ientreattoacceptmeasahusband.”

“What,me!”Iejaculated,beginninginhisearnestness—andespeciallyinhisincivility—tocredithissincerity:“mewhohavenotafriendintheworldbutyou—ifyouaremyfriend:notashillingbutwhatyouhavegivenme?”

“You,Jane,Imusthaveyouformyown—entirelymyown.Willyoubemine?Sayyes,quickly.”

“Mr.Rochester,letmelookatyourface:turntothemoonlight.”

“Why?”

“BecauseIwanttoreadyourcountenance—turn!”

“There!youwillfinditscarcelymorelegiblethanacrumpled,scratchedpage.Readon:onlymakehaste,forIsuffer.”

Hisfacewasverymuchagitatedandverymuchflushed,andtherewerestrongworkingsinthefeatures,andstrangegleamsintheeyes

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“Oh,Jane,youtortureme!”heexclaimed.“Withthatsearchingandyetfaithfulandgenerouslook,youtortureme!”

“HowcanIdothat?Ifyouaretrue,andyourofferreal,myonlyfeelingstoyoumustbegratitudeanddevotion—theycannottorture.”

“Gratitude!”heejaculated;andaddedwildly—“Janeacceptmequickly.Say,Edward—givememyname—Edward—Iwillmarryyou.”

“Areyouinearnest?Doyoutrulyloveme?Doyousincerelywishmetobeyourwife?”

“Ido;andifanoathisnecessarytosatisfyyou,Iswearit.”

“Then,sir,Iwillmarryyou.”

“Edward—mylittlewife!”

“DearEdward!”

“Cometome—cometomeentirelynow,”saidhe;andadded,inhisdeepesttone,speakinginmyearashischeekwaslaidonmine,“Makemyhappiness—Iwillmakeyours.”

“Godpardonme!”hesubjoinederelong;“andmanmeddlenotwithme:Ihaveher,andwillholdher.”

“Thereisnoonetomeddle,sir.Ihavenokindredtointerfere.”

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“No—thatisthebestofit,”hesaid.AndifIhadlovedhimlessIshouldhavethoughthisaccentandlookofexultationsavage;but,sittingbyhim,rousedfromthenightmareofparting—calledtotheparadiseofunion—Ithoughtonlyoftheblissgivenmetodrinkinsoabundantaflow.Againandagainhesaid,“Areyouhappy,Jane?”AndagainandagainIanswered,“Yes.”Afterwhichhemurmured,“Itwillatone—itwillatone.HaveInotfoundherfriendless,andcold,andcomfortless?WillInotguard,andcherish,andsolaceher?Istherenotloveinmyheart,andconstancyinmyresolves?ItwillexpiateatGod’stribunal.IknowmyMakersanctionswhatIdo.Fortheworld’sjudgment—Iwashmyhandsthereof.Forman’sopinion—Idefyit.”

But