2025年全國高考英語一卷讀后續(xù)寫教學(xué)設(shè)計：AHeatedGatheringandaCooledRelationship題目要求：閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。MywifeandIwantedtoshareournewhomewithfamilyandfriendsbyhostingasmallgatheringintheearlysummer.Shehadpreparedlotsofsnacks,whilemyjobwastohavethebackyardinorder.

Therewasplentyofspaceforthekidstorunandplay.TherewasjustonethingIhadn’tcountedon:MybrotherchosetobringhisdogToby,a50poundballoffire.Thoughfriendly,hecouldeasilyknockovermyniece’ssmallboysandmysixmontholdgranddaughter.So,whenmybrothershowedup,IaskedhimtowatchTobyandkeephimoutside.

Myplanwasworkingoutjustfine.Tobywasusinguphisenergybyrunningbackandforthinthebackyardandgivingthekidsplentyofroom.Unexpectedly,aftersupper,theweatherchanged.Itstartedtorainandeveryonewentindoors.

Itwasanawkwardmoment.Ididn’twantTobytoberunningaroundinthehouse,andmybrotherwasn’thappywithdrivinghomewithawetdog.Eventually,mybrotherdecidedtoleaveratherthanforcetheissue.

Afewdayspassed,andIhadn’theardanythingfrommybrother.Itextedhimandexpressedwishesforhimtoeoutagain.Hisreplycameasasurprise—ashock,actually:“Notachance.”Clearly,hewasunhappyoverthewaywehadparted.Afterall,Ihadlefthimlittlechoice.Well,he’llgetoverit,Ireasoned.

Twomonthspassed.MywifesuggestedIgetintouchwithmybrother,butIresisted,thinkingheshouldcallfirst.However,myconscience(良心)keptbotheringme.Itriedtoputmyselfinmybrother’sshoes.Hewasfacinghealthissuesandhiswifeofthirtyfiveyearshadpassedawayafewmonthsearlier.Tobywashisconstantpanion,theonewhokepthimgoing.

注意:

(1)續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個左右；(2)請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Irealizeditwasmewhowasatfault.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Withthebiscuitsmywifehadmade,Iarrivedatmybrother’sdoor.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【導(dǎo)語】本文以事件發(fā)展為線索展開，講述了作者初夏時和妻子舉辦家庭聚會，因擔(dān)心哥哥的狗Toby傷到孩子，讓狗待在戶外。晚飯后下雨，眾人進(jìn)屋，作者不愿狗進(jìn)室內(nèi)，哥哥無奈帶狗離開。之后作者與哥哥產(chǎn)生隔閡，兩個月后作者在妻子提醒和良心驅(qū)使下，開始換位思考，理解哥哥因妻子離世、健康不佳，Toby對其意義重大。TeachingDesign1.TeachingObjectivesBasedonthestoryandthewritingtask,theteachingobjectivesaredesignedasfollows:1.1KnowledgeObjectivesStudentswillunderstand,recognize,andcorrectlyusekeylanguagefromthetext,suchas:than...friendly...ut,putoneselfinone’sshoes,ratherthan...,Thoughfriendly...Studentswillgraspthebasicstory:theplot,relationshipsbetweencharacters,andthemainemotionalconflict.1.2SkillObjectivesStudentswillbeabletofigureoutwhathappensnextinalogicalway,usingthegivenstoryclues.Studentswillpracticeaddingdescriptivedetails(likeactions,expressions,andfeelings)tomaketheirwritingricher.Studentswilllearntousethetargetwordsandphrasescorrectlyintheirownstorywriting.1.3AffectiveObjectiveTohelpstudentsthinkabouttheimportanceoffamily,understanding,andgoodmunication.Toencouragethemtovalueempathy,couragetoadmitmistakes,andtakingthefirststeptomakethingsright.2.KeyFocusandAnticipatedChallenges2.1KeyGoalsGuidestudentstousetheprovided

languagetools

and

storyclues

towriteacontinuationthatis

logical,coherent,andrichinlanguage.Helpstudentsanalyzethe

narrator’sshiftingemotions

andthe

reasonsfortheconflict,ensuringtheirwritingis

believableandemotionallyresonant.2.2PotentialChallengesStudentsmightstruggletousethetargetphrasesandstructuresnaturally,makingtheirwriting

feelforced.Studentsmayfinditdifficultto

describethecharacters’innerfeelingsandpsychologicalchanges

inadetailedandvividway.Thereisariskthatthestudents’storycontinuationsmight

notconnectwell

withthegivenopeningortheoriginalplot,leadingto

logicalinconsistencies.3.TeachingProceduresStep1:導(dǎo)入與回顧情景導(dǎo)入：

教師提問：“Haveyoueverhadaquarrelwithyourfamilymembersoverasmallthing?Howdidyousolveit?”引導(dǎo)學(xué)生進(jìn)行簡短討論，引入本課主題——家庭矛盾與和解。故事回顧：

師生共同回顧閱讀材料的主要內(nèi)容。人物:

I(敘事者),mywife,mybrother,Toby(thedog)沖突:

Theauthordidn’twanttheenergeticdogTobyinsidethehouse,whichledtohisbrotherleavingunhappily.現(xiàn)狀:

Twomonthshavepassedwithoutcontact.Ibegantofeelguilty,especiallyafterconsideringhisbrother’sdifficultsituation(losinghiswife,healthissues).Step2:語言支架搭建(1)短語闖關(guān)：

將提供的核心短語以填空或匹配的形式讓學(xué)生快速回顧。1.

Mybrotherdidn’t____________(出現(xiàn))atmybirthdaypartylastnight.2.Weneedto_____________(耗盡)allourtimetopreparefortheexam.3.It’simportantto___________(設(shè)身處地)otherstounderstandtheirfeelings.Ididn’t

___________

(預(yù)料到)somanypeopleingtotheevent.Thebabyalmost

___________

(撞倒)theglassofwater.Afteralongtalk,wefinally___________(修復(fù)關(guān)系).Asenseof

relief

(如釋重負(fù))washedoverusHeisa___________

(形影不離的伙伴)tohisgrandfather.(2)聚焦關(guān)鍵句型，進(jìn)行口頭或書面仿寫練習(xí)，為續(xù)寫積累地道表達(dá)。Example1:使用

ratherthan

表達(dá)選擇原句:

Eventually,mybrotherdecidedto

leaveratherthanforce

theissue.（最終，我哥哥決定離開，而不是強(qiáng)行爭執(zhí)。）結(jié)構(gòu):

主語+決定/選擇+做Aratherthan做B仿寫示例:Eventually,Idecidedto

apologizetohimratherthanwait

forhiscall.(最終，我決定向他道歉，而不是等他的電話。)Shechoseto

savehermoneyforanewbikeratherthanspend

itonsnacks.(她選擇把錢省下來買新自行車，而不是花在零食上。)Example2:使用

suggested...but...resisted,thinking...

描述沖突的建議或想法原句:

Mywife

suggestedI(should)getintouchwith

mybrother,

butIresisted,thinking

heshouldcallfirst.(我妻子建議我聯(lián)系我哥哥，但我拒絕了，心想他應(yīng)該先打電話。)結(jié)構(gòu):

A建議B(應(yīng)該)做……，但B拒絕了，心想……仿寫示例:Myfriend

suggestedI(should)share

theumbrellawithher,

butIresisted,thinking

Icouldrunhomequickly.(我朋友建議我和她共用雨傘，但我拒絕了，心想我可以跑回家。)Myfather

suggestedI(should)major

inscience,

butIresisted,thinking

Iwasmoreinterestedinart.(我父親建議我主修理科，但我拒絕了，心想我對藝術(shù)更感興趣。)Example3:使用

Unexpectedly...

引出故事轉(zhuǎn)折原句:

Unexpectedly,after

supper,theweatherchanged.

Itstartedto

rain

and

everyonewentindoors.(出乎意料的是，晚飯后天氣變了。開始下雨了，大家都進(jìn)了屋里。)結(jié)構(gòu):

出乎意料地，在[某事件]后，[某事發(fā)生了]。開始[發(fā)生變化]并且[導(dǎo)致結(jié)果]。仿寫示例:Unexpectedly,after

weleftthecinema,

itstartedto

pour

and

wehadtowaitforataxi.(出乎意料的是，我們離開電影院后，開始下起了傾盆大雨，我們不得不等出租車。)Unexpectedly,after

thefirsthalf,ourbestplayergotinjured.

Itstartedto

beedifficultforourteam

and

welostthegame.(出乎意料的是，下半場后，我們最好的隊員受傷了。我們隊開始變得困難，并且輸?shù)袅吮荣悺?Step3:情節(jié)發(fā)展與寫作指導(dǎo)第一段續(xù)寫分析(Paragraph1):段首句:

“Irealizeditwasmewhowasatfault.”師生討論：Q1:Whatexactlywashisfault?(引導(dǎo)用原文信息回答：Hewasinsensitive,didn’tputhimselfinhisbrother’sshoes.)Q2:Howwouldhefeelatthismoment?(Guilty,regretful,ashamed.)Q3:Whatdetailscanweaddtoshowhisguilt?(replaythesceneinhismind,

thememorykepthauntinghim,

realizeTobywastheonlyfamilyhehadleft.)寫作任務(wù)：

請學(xué)生根據(jù)討論，寫12句話描述敘事者意識到錯誤后的心理活動。第二段續(xù)寫分析(Paragraph2):段首句:

“Withthebiscuitsmywifehadmade,Iarrivedatmybrother’sdoor.”師生討論：Q1:Howdidhefeelonhiswaytohisbrother’shouse?(Nervous,worried,

heartracing.)Q2:Whathappenedwhenthedooropened?Describethebrother’sexpressionandToby’sreaction.(alookofsurprise,

Tobywaggedhistail.)Q3:Whatdidthenarratorsaytoapologize?(saysorryfromthebottomofmyheart,

admitmymistake.)Q4:Howdidthebrotherreact?Didheforgivehim?(softenhistone,

invitemein,

shareacupoftea.)寫作任務(wù)：

請學(xué)生描述開門后最初30秒內(nèi)發(fā)生的事，至少包含一個動作描寫和一句對話。Step4:范文賞析與寫作范文展示與點(diǎn)評：

教師展示一篇優(yōu)秀范文（如下），并點(diǎn)評其優(yōu)點(diǎn)，如：短語運(yùn)用恰當(dāng)、情感描寫細(xì)膩、結(jié)局溫馨等。Irealizeditwasmewhowasatfault.

Thememoryofthatrainynightandmybrother’sdisappointedfacekepthauntingme.Ihadbeensoselfishandfailedto

putmyselfinhisshoes.Tobywashis

constantpanion

who

kepthimgoing

afterhiswife

passedaway.Mypridehad

lefthimlittlechoice

buttoleave.IknewIhadto

swallowmypride

and

makethingsright.Withthebiscuitsmywifehadmade,Iarrivedatmybrother’sdoor.

Myheartwas

racing

asIknocked.Heopenedthedoorslowly,withalookofsurprise.Tobywasthere,wagginghistailhappily.“I’msorry,”Isaid,handinghimthebiscuits.“Iwaswrong.Ishouldn’thave

forcedtheissue

thatday.”Hestaredatmeforasecond,thenhisfacesoftened.“ein,”hesighed.Wesatdown,sharedthebiscuits,andtalkedforalongtime,finally

patchingthingsup.獨(dú)立寫作：

學(xué)生根據(jù)兩段段首句和課堂討論的提綱，進(jìn)行完整的續(xù)寫創(chuàng)作（約150詞）。教師巡視，提供個別指導(dǎo)。同伴互評：

學(xué)生兩人一組，交換作文，重點(diǎn)檢查：情節(jié)是否連貫合理？是否使用了至少3個本課所學(xué)的核心短語或句型？是否有生動的細(xì)節(jié)描寫？4.學(xué)生作業(yè)示例一Irealizeditwasmewhowasatfault.ThethoughtthatIhadhurtmybrother,whowasalreadysufferingfromhealthissuesandthelossofhiswife,mademefeeldeeplyashamed.Ireplayedtheawkwardmomentinmymind.Ihadonlycaredabouttheorderofmyhousebutignoredhisfeelings.Tobywasnotjustapet;hewasmybrother’sfamilyandtheonewhokepthimgoing.Idecidedtoswallowmyprideandtakethefirststeptoapologize.Withthebiscuitsmywifehadmade,Iarrivedatmybrother’sdoor.MyheartwasbeatingfastasIrangthebell.Whenheopenedthedoor,helookedatmeinsilence,whichmadememorenervous.“I’msorry,”Isaid,myvoicetrembling.“Iwaswrong.Ishouldhaveputmyselfinyourshoes.”Seeingthebiscuitsandmysincereapology,hisseriousexpressionfinallysoftened.Heinvitedmein,andwetalkedforalongtime.Tobysatbesideus,wagginghistail.Theriftbetweenusbegantoheal.AI輔助工具評價(Deepseek)維度原文點(diǎn)評與分析升級建議語法與用詞全文無拼寫與語法錯誤。語言準(zhǔn)確性高，時態(tài)統(tǒng)一，為流暢的閱讀體驗奠定了基礎(chǔ)?？稍趥€別處使用更精確的詞匯以增強(qiáng)表現(xiàn)力。詞匯運(yùn)用...mademefeel

deeplyashamed.“deeplyashamed”已能準(zhǔn)確傳達(dá)情感。可使用

“overwhelmedwithguilt”

來加深程度。swallowmypride習(xí)語使用恰當(dāng)、地道。無需修改。theriftbetweenusbegantoheal比喻(“rift”)生動貼切，是高級表達(dá)的體現(xiàn)。無需修改。句式結(jié)構(gòu)ThethoughtthatIhadhurtmybrother...mademefeel...賓語從句使用正確，有效豐富了句子結(jié)構(gòu)。無需修改。Ihadonlycaredabout...butignored...并列連詞使用得當(dāng)，清晰地表達(dá)了內(nèi)在的沖突與對比。無需修改。Seeingthebiscuits...,his...expression...softened.現(xiàn)在分詞短語作狀語，使動作銜接緊密，描寫生動。無需修改。Heinvitedmein,andwetalkedforalongtime.句子正確但略顯平淡，有提升空間。1.(使用現(xiàn)在分詞表伴隨結(jié)果)

Heinvitedmein,andwetalkedforalongtime,finallyclearingupthemisunderstanding.2.(使用獨(dú)立主格豐富細(xì)節(jié))

Heinvitedmein,withTobysittingquietlybesideus.邏輯與連貫...Iarrivedatmybrother’sdoor.Myheartwasbeatingfast...動作與心理描寫的銜接自然流暢?？稍黾右粋€過渡詞，使緊張情緒的遞進(jìn)更明顯：...Iarrivedatmybrother’sdoor.Myheartwasbeatingfast,andwithadeepbreath,Irangthebell.情感表達(dá)...helookedatmeinsilence,whichmadememorenervous.通過環(huán)境和心理描寫來烘托情感，手法成熟?？梢赃M(jìn)一步描繪沉默的質(zhì)感，如：...helookedatmeinaheavysilencethatseemedtoamplifymyanxiety.5.學(xué)生作業(yè)示例二Irealizeditwasmewhowasatfault.IthinkIamtooselfish.Mybrotherfeelverysadbecausehiswifedied.AndInotlethisdogin.Tobyisveryimportanttohim.Iwanttosaysorrytohim.Idecidedtogotohishouse.Withthebiscuitsmywifehadmade,Iarrivedatmybrother’sdoor.Iverynervous.Iknockatthedoor.Mybrotheropenthedoor.Heseemeanddon’tsayanything.Igivehethebiscuitsandsay“I’msorry.”Thenhesaid“It’sokay.”Wearehappy.AI輔助工具評價(Deepseek)主要問題：時態(tài)混亂；主謂不一致；代詞錯誤；詞匯量有限，多為最基礎(chǔ)的表達(dá)。未能有效使用課文中學(xué)到的