2022年1月浙江首考讀后續(xù)寫：解析及下水文題目：WhenDr.Gullicksonwasassigningprojectmatesforhisintroductiontoexperimentalpsychologyclass,IsecretlyhopedhewouldpairmewithmybestfriendoratleastaclassmateIcouldhavesomefunwith.Aboveall,Ihopedhewouldn'tassignmetoworkwiththeintense,fiercelycompetitive,singularlyseriousfellowwhoalwaysworedarkclothesandapparentlyhadapersonalitytomatch.Asfatewouldhaveit,Dr.GullicksonverydeliberatelymatchedeveryoneinclassandannouncedthatIwouldbeworkingwiththeonepersoninclassIwantedtoavoid.Iwentuptomynewlabmateandintroducedmyself.HelookedatmeasthoughIweren'tthere.IfelthetreatedmeasthoughIwouldholdhimbackandprobablycausehisgrade-pointaveragetotakeanosedive.Hewasn'toutrightmeanorabusive.Hejustgavemetheimpressionhecoulddowhateverprojectwedreamedupbetterifhediditalone.Needlesstosay,Ididn'tlookforwardtoanentiretermofbeingbrushedoff,butItriedtomakethebestofitanddidn'tsayanything,lestImakethingsworse.Theprojectrequiredeachlabteamtodevelopahypothesis,setupanexperimenttotestthehypothesis,runthetests,dothestatisticalanalysisandpresentthefindings.Whatevergradetheteamreceivedwouldbesharedbybothstudents.WhenmyteammateandImettodiscussourproject,Iwasuneasy.Herewasthischallengingstudentwhohadareputationforsingle-mindednessandgoodgradestheexactoppositeofme.Iwasoutmatched.Iactuallywantedtodroptheclassatonepoint,butstoppedshortbecauseIdidn'twanttogivehimthesatisfactionofmychickeningout.Afterlengthydiscussions,wesomehowagreedtodoastudyonthetactile-kinestheticperceptionofspace.Iwasn'tsurewhatitmeant,butatleastwehadatopic.注意：1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；應(yīng)使用5個以上短文中標有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語；2.續(xù)寫局局部為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。Paragraph1:Westartedtomeetregularlytodrawupourplans.Paragraph2:OnedayIgotwordthathewasadmittedtohospitalforaseriousdisease.指導：第一步:Readforthethemeandclues文章梗概：我被Dr.Gullickson分配給不夠言笑且非常自負的同學一起做工程任務(wù),學期末匯報成果。如何確定theme?這個theme不要急于定論，讀后續(xù)寫的主題都是在分析文章里的problem或conflict或change后才能得出來，不可無中生有。這篇續(xù)寫涉及到I和myclassmate?找一找關(guān)于兩人的描寫：IfelthetreatedmeasthoughIwouldholdhimbackandprobablycausehisgrade-pointaveragetotakeanosedive.Hewasn'toutrightmeanorabusive.Hejustgavemetheimpressionhecoulddowhateverprojectwedreamedupbetterifhediditalone.Hehadareputationforsingle-mindednessandgoodgradestheexactoppositeofme.總結(jié)：我的同學是個學霸，喜歡獨立完成任務(wù)，懷疑我會拖后腿。同時他非常固執(zhí)。但這些都是我的感覺：Ifelt...asthough...;hejustgavemetheimpression...而我呢：Iactuallywantedtodroptheclassatonepoint,butstoppedshortbecauseIdidn'twanttogivehimthesatisfactionofmychickeningout.總結(jié)：chickenout退縮我不想給人知難而退的印象。即：我也是好強的.(competitiveness)有了這個，我們可以確定主題了：我的同學不是我想象中的那樣過于自我，而是熱情且嚴格的。這就回到了通常的主題：change，即：我從錯誤的印象到積極的看人印象。我的同學和我一起完成了任務(wù)，取得了好成績。如何確定線索？探索主題的過程，實際就是挖掘線索的過程。我曾經(jīng)在我的極簡續(xù)寫一書中總結(jié)線索為十四個，這里面涉及到：線索1：人物的性格線索2:目標的實現(xiàn)（一開始老師交代的任務(wù)必須圓滿完成）線索3:任務(wù)本身的程序（假設(shè)，實驗等）不是所有線索都必須照應(yīng)，本文線索3就不一定要照應(yīng)。第二步：Predicttheplot情節(jié)推理情節(jié)推理“321極簡模式"：三銜接，兩過渡，一主題Paragraph1:Westartedtomeetregularlytodrawupourplans.銜接1:每次碰頭討論的爭論（照應(yīng)他的固執(zhí)，我的好強心）過渡：雖然爭論不停，但是我還是佩服他的嚴謹和聰明，我的觀點開始改變，和他一起完成project.銜接2:一起做project的過程中，學霸同學開始有體力不支的病癥。Paragraph2:OnedayIgotwordthathewasadmittedtohospitalforaseriousdisease.銜接3:我的焦慮和擔憂，同時我的后悔過渡：學霸同學鼓勵我堅持下去，并提供遠程指導。主題：任務(wù)完成，拿到了等級A。文章指導：Paragraph1:Westartedtomeetregularlytodrawupourplans.銜接1：Initially,whenwediscussedmyopinion,Ifelthewaseyeingmedoubtfullyasiftosayhowstupiditwas.Thenmycompetitivenessaskedmenottogivein.（asif...是描述心理活動的常見方式）過渡：Seeingthat,hewouldpatmeontheshoulder,insistingsmilingly,"Letmeexplainwhy."Ihadtoadmithisintelligenceoutdidmeandhisrigourinfluencedmedeeply.（—方面突出其固執(zhí)insistingsmilingly，另外一方面突出其和善pat,smilingly.同時要說明我的改變了：hisrigourinfluencedmedeeply）銜接2:Everytime,hecheckedthedatawithgreatcautionbeforeleavingthelab,hisfacesurprisinglypaleanddrawn.（突出他的嚴謹，以及體力不支）Paragraph2:OnedayIgotwordthathewasadmittedtohospitalforaseriousdisease.銜接3:Itreallystartledmeandfilledmewithregret.Ishouldn'thavebotheredhimsomuch.Ishouldn'thavecomplainedfornoreason...（我的后悔，用排比來凸顯心里活動）過渡：However,hecalledmeandencouragedmetocontinuealone.Ifoughtbacktears,promising,MOurfindingsmustbeperfect."Thenextweekssawallmyeffortsinvestedintheprojectwithhisremoteguidance.（他的鼓勵和我的努力）Asfatewouldhaveit,I-no-wewereawardedAbyDr.Gullicksonatlast!（結(jié)尾：皆大歡喜）完整的：Paragraph1:Westartedtomeetregularlytodrawupourplans.Initially,whenwediscussedmyopinion,Ifelthewaseyeingmedoubtfullyasiftosayhowstupiditwas.Thenmycompetitivenessaskedmenottogivein.Seeingthat,hewouldpatmeontheshoulder,insistingsmilingly,"Letmeexplainwhy."Ihadtoadmithisintelligenceoutdidmeandhisrigourinfluencedmedeeply.Everytime,hecheckedthedatawithgreatcautionbeforeleavingthelab,hisfacesurprisinglypaleanddrawn.Paragraph2:OnedayIgotwordthathewasadmittedtohospitalforaseriousdisease.Itreallystartledmeandfilledmewithregret.Ishouldn'thavebotheredhimsomuch.Ishouldn*thavecomplainedfornoreason...However,hecalledmeandencouragedmetocontinuealone.Ifoughtbacktears,promising,"Ourfindingsmustbeperfect/*Thenextweekssawallmyeffortsinvestedintheprojectwithhisremoteguidance.Asfatewouldhaveit,I-no-wewereawardedAbyDr.Gullicksonatlast!(total:157words)作者原文：AnUnlikelyHeroHoraceWhenDr.Gullicksonwasassigningprojectmatesforhisintroductiontoexperimentalpsychologyclass,IsecretlyhopedhewouldpairmewithmybestfriendoratleastaclassmateIcouldhavesomefunwith.Aboveall,Ihopedhewouldn'tassignmetoworkwiththeintense,fiercelycompetitive,singularlyseriousfellowwhoalwaysworedarkclothesandapparentlyhadapersonalitytomatch.Asfatewouldhaveit,Dr.GullicksonverydeliberatelymatchedeveryoneinclassandannouncedthatIwouldbeworkingwiththeonepersoninclassIwantedtoavoid.Iwentuptomynewlabmateandintroducedmyself.HelookedatmeasthoughIweren'tthere.IfelthetreatedmeasthoughIwouldholdhimbackandprobablycausehisgrade-pointaveragetotakeanosedive.Hewasn'toutrightmeanorabusive.Hejustgavemetheimpressionhecoulddowhateverprojectwedreamedupbetterifhediditalone.Hewasaloner,andIcouldonlyimpedehisresearch.Hehadimportantthingstodo,andIwasgoingtobesomethingofanannoyancehe'dhavetodealwith.Needlesstosay,Ididn'tlookforwardtoanentiretermofbeingbrushedoff,butItriedtomakethebestofitanddidnrtsayanything,lestImakethingsworse.Theprojectrequiredeachlabteamtodevelopahypothesis,setupanexperimenttotestthehypothesis,runthetests,dothestatisticalanalysisandpresentthefindings.Whatevergradetheteamreceivedwouldbesharedbybothstudents.WhenmylabmateandImettodiscussourproject,Iwasuneasy.Herewasthischallengingstudentwhohadareputationforsingle-mindednessandgoodgradestheexactoppositeofme.Iwasoutmatched.Iactuallywantedtodroptheclassatonepoint,butstoppedshortbecauseIdidn'twanttogivehimthesatisfactionofmychickeningout.IaskedmyfriendsatworkwhatIshoulddo,andtheoverallresponsewastostickitoutnomatterwhat.Afterlengthydiscussions,wesomehowagreedtodoastudyonthetactile-kinestheticperceptionofspace.Iwasn'tsurewhatitmeant,butatleastwehadatopic.Westartedtomeetregularlytoformulateourplans,andeverytimeIfelttheprojectwasmorehisthanmine.Themorewemet,themoreIresentedhisintelligenceandhisabilitytocutthroughtothecoreissues.AndIwasawarehewasmuchmoreadvancedthanI.Heknewtechnicalthingsandapproachedeverydetailwithgreatsingularityofpurpose.I,ontheotherhand,musthaveseemednaive,withlittletooffer.AtonepointIsummonedupmycourageandaskedhimwhyheseemedsouptightandserious.Tomysurprise,herepliedthathedidn'thavetimeforsmalltalkorpettypeopleandthingsthatwouldwastehistime.Heevenwentontosaythathedidn'thavemanyfriendsbecausemostso-calledfriendswerejustadistraction.But,headdedwhenhedidchoosesomeonetobehisfriend,theywouldbeafriendforlife.Iwasflooredbyhiscoldandcynicalresponse.Rightthenandthere,Irealizedtheendofthetermcouldn'tcomesoonenough.Asthetermworeon,wetriedtofashionasimpleyetelegantexperiment.Partofourjobwastoselectstudentswhohadvolunteeredtobesubjectsforourproject.Idecidedtodevotemyselftothetaskofworkingwiththesubjects,whilehedevelopedthescientificmodel.Iputinmytwocents'worthwheneverIcould,butIstillfelthewasthedrivingforce.ThenonedayIgotwordthathewasinthehospital.Apparently,hehadbeenadmittedforahaemorrhagingulcer.Thestressofgettingthebestgrades,holdingdownajobandhelpinghisgirlfriendthroughthemedicalcrisisshewasgoingthroughhadtakenitstollonhim.WhenIvisitedhiminthehospital,Inoticedforthefirsttimeasenseofvulnerabilityonthefaceofmystoiclabmate.IknewthathewasawarethatIcouldblowtheexperiment,andoursharedgradewouldshatterhisloftyG.P.A.andpossiblyderailhischancesforgraduateschool.IassuredhimIwouldnotlethimdownandheshouldonlyconcentrateongettingbetter.Iwoulddomybest.WebothknewI'dhavetodobetterthanmybest.Ihadaformidabletaskaheadofme.Iwasinovermyhead,runningthestatisticaldata.IpouredmoretimeandenergyintothatprojectthanIhadeverdoneonanyassignmentinmylife.Iwasnotgoingt