應(yīng)用文講評(píng)cook大家來(lái)找茬Dearteachersandclassmates:Ihopedyouaredoingwell!Iamwritingthislettertotalkedaboutweightmanagement.Itwasaveryimportanttopic,andIthinkweshouldpayattentiontoit.Somepeopleweretoofat,andsomearetoothin.Ithinkweightmanagementisgood.Ifyouarefat,youshouldeatless.Ifyouarethin,youcaneatmore.Runingisgood.Swimingisalsogood.

Inconclusion,Ihopemyadvicecanhelpyou.Ifyouhaveanyquestions,pleaseletmeknow.Ilookforwardtoyourreply.1.時(shí)態(tài)混用2.體裁錯(cuò)誤6.書寫潦草5.拼寫錯(cuò)誤和缺乏過渡詞3.要點(diǎn)空洞4.要點(diǎn)錯(cuò)誤Dearteachersandclassmates,It’smygreathonortotalkabouttheimportanceofscientificweightmanagement.Weightmanagementisnotjustaboutlookinggood,butalsoaboutlong-termhealth.Properweightmanagementlowerstheriskofdiseasesandimprovesourqualityoflife.Herearesomesuggestions.First,adoptingabalanceddietiscrucial,whichmeanseatingmorevegetablesandfruitswhilecuttingdownonjunkfood.Besides,regularexercisemattersaswell,suchasjogging,cycling,ordancingeachweek.Inaddition,it’svitaltoensureadequatesleep,asitfacilitatesregulatingourweightandboostsourdailyenergy.Remember,managingweightisalong-termcommitment,requiringourcontinuouseffortandpatience.Let’sstarttodayandbuildhealthierhabitsforabetterfuture!Thankyou！總結(jié)-評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)體裁錯(cuò)誤：寫成書信而非演講稿時(shí)態(tài)混亂和拼寫錯(cuò)誤要點(diǎn)錯(cuò)誤：錯(cuò)誤的健康觀念要點(diǎn)空泛：沒有解釋為什么好、具體好在哪里缺乏語(yǔ)句間的連接成分，內(nèi)容不連貫和書寫較差應(yīng)用文評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)文本格式正確較少語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)或詞匯方面的錯(cuò)誤覆蓋所有內(nèi)容要點(diǎn),表達(dá)清楚、合理;覆蓋所有內(nèi)容要點(diǎn),表達(dá)清楚、合理;內(nèi)容連貫，書寫工整ABCDE3

TipsTips

ABC正確審題:抓題目體裁，定格式充實(shí)內(nèi)容:橫向——要點(diǎn)多維度縱向——細(xì)節(jié)要具體過渡詞與書寫：積累與練習(xí)加入標(biāo)題Tip1：審題體裁時(shí)態(tài)人稱要點(diǎn)文體時(shí)間對(duì)象話題+事件演講稿一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)第一人稱1.演講背景2.體重管理的意義3.你的建議Tip1：審題書信約稿信，邀請(qǐng)信，咨詢信，求助信，申請(qǐng)信，道歉信，建議信，祝賀信，告知信，感謝信，推薦信，非書信通知，報(bào)道，發(fā)言稿

，歡迎詞，介紹，評(píng)論，投稿I

am

writing

toMatch

the

text

typeGood

morning,

everyone!

I

feel

greatly

honored

to

stand

here

and

extend

a

warm

welcometo

you

on

behalf

of

the

whole

students....That’s

it!

Thanks

for

listening.NOTICEIn

order

to

enrich

students’

life,

an

outstanding

English

short

movie

will

be

shown

in

thelibrary

from

3:00-4:00

in

the

afternoon

on

June

9th,

organized

by

the

student

union.

Here

arerelevant

details

about

it....Students’

UnionA

Cross-Country

Running

RaceLast

Sunday,

our

school

held

a

5km

cross

country

running

race,

which

attracted

manyenthusiastic

participants,

including

students

and

teachers.Dear

Jack,Delighted

hearing

that

you

are

planning

a

club

activity

themed

“Green

Beijing”,

I

am

writing

toshare

my

suggestions

for

the

event

with

you.建議信書面通知演講報(bào)道Tip2:擴(kuò)充內(nèi)容：橫向與縱向Tip2:

橫向——要點(diǎn)多維度Tip2:

縱向——細(xì)節(jié)要具體Tip2:擴(kuò)充內(nèi)容:橫向——要點(diǎn)多維度"橫向——要點(diǎn)多維度"指的是針對(duì)同一個(gè)核心要點(diǎn)，從不同角度進(jìn)行拓展論述，使內(nèi)容更全面、立體。身體健康心理健康生活質(zhì)量社會(huì)形象意義1.體重管理的意義Healthybodymentalhealthqualityoflifesocialimageathleticability…Tip2:擴(kuò)充內(nèi)容:橫向——要點(diǎn)多維度飲食建議運(yùn)動(dòng)建議生活習(xí)慣監(jiān)測(cè)方面建議2.你的建議ExerciseDietLivinghabitsWeeklymeasurements….Tip2:擴(kuò)充內(nèi)容:橫向——要點(diǎn)多維度Managingourweightscientificallyisveryimportant.Ithelpsusstayhealthyandavoiddiseases.Italsoimprovesourconfidenceandsocialimage.Herearesomesuggestions.Weshouldhaveabalanceddiet.Weneedtoexerciseregularly.Lastly,weshouldtrytoreducestress.多維度要點(diǎn)必須搭配具體細(xì)節(jié)才能有效支撐論點(diǎn)，否則就像只有骨架沒有骨肉。Tip2:擴(kuò)充內(nèi)容:縱向——細(xì)節(jié)要具體身體健康心理健康生活質(zhì)量社會(huì)形象意義1.體重管理的意義“縱向——細(xì)節(jié)要具體”就是要深入剖析一個(gè)要點(diǎn)，提供具體的例子、數(shù)據(jù)、步驟或結(jié)果，使內(nèi)容更加有說(shuō)服力和可操作性。橫向多維度是設(shè)計(jì)不同房間（廚房/臥室/客廳）縱向具體化是把每個(gè)房間裝修到位（廚房要有幾個(gè)灶臺(tái)/臥室床的尺寸）Maintainingahealthyweightcanreducetheriskofdevelopingtype2diabetesbyupto58%。Italsoimprovesourconfidenceandsocialimage.Forinstance,peoplewhomanagetheirweightwellaremorelikelytoparticipateingroupactivitiesandfeelbetterabouthowtheylookinphotos.數(shù)據(jù)舉例Healthybodymentalhealthqualityoflifesocialimageathleticability…AvoiddiseaseimpressionTip2:擴(kuò)充內(nèi)容:縱向——細(xì)節(jié)要具體2.你的建議飲食建議運(yùn)動(dòng)建議生活習(xí)慣監(jiān)測(cè)方面建議weshouldhaveabalanceddiet.Thismeansincludingmorefruitsandvegetablesinourdailymeals.Regularexercise,suchas30minutesofdailywalkingorjogging,isessentialformaintainingourweightandoverallhealth.Forlifestyle,ensuring7-8hoursofsleepeverynightandmanagingstressarekey.Formonitoring,checkingyourweightweeklyandadjustingyourhabitsasneededcanhelpyoustayontrack.ExerciseDietLivinghabitsWeeklymeasurements….數(shù)據(jù)+舉例舉例舉例舉例fruitwalkingEnoughsleepCheckweeklyTip2:擴(kuò)充內(nèi)容:縱向——細(xì)節(jié)要具體Managingourweightscientificallyisveryimportant.Ithelpsusstayhealthyandavoiddiseases.Maintainingahealthyweightcanreducetheriskofdevelopingtype2diabetesbyupto58%.

Italsoimprovesourconfidenceandsocialimage.Forinstance,peoplewhomanagetheirweightwellaremorelikelytoparticipateingroupactivitiesandfeelbetterabouthowtheylookinphotos.Herearesomesuggestions.Weshouldhaveabalanceddiet.Thismeansincludingmorefruitsandvegetablesinourdailymeals.Regularexercise,suchas30minutesofdailywalkingorjogging,isessentialformaintainingourweightandoverallhealth.缺乏過渡詞從而使句子之間的邏輯不清晰，使內(nèi)容不連貫。否則就像只有骨架和骨肉，沒有血液。Tip3:積累過渡詞和練習(xí)書寫一.表示遞進(jìn)關(guān)系的過渡詞additionally

加之；又besides

此外；除……之外equallyimportant

同樣重要的是furthermore

此外；而且inaddition

另外inotherwords

換句話說(shuō)lastbutnotleast

最后但同樣重要的是二.表示轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系的過渡詞although

雖然；盡管atthesametime

同時(shí)；despite

不管；盡管；不論evenif

即使eventhough

即使however

然而；可是inspiteof

不管instead

代替；而不三.表示選擇關(guān)系的過渡詞either…or…

……或……insteadof…

……，而不是……neither…nor…

……和……都不…四.表示比較關(guān)系的過渡詞comparedwith/to

與……比較equally

相等地；平等地incontrastto

和……對(duì)比inthesameway

同樣地instead

代替；相反onthecontrary

正相反五.表示因果關(guān)系的過渡詞accordingly

因此；從而asaresultof

作為結(jié)果because(of)

因?yàn)閏onsequently

從而；因此dueto

由于；應(yīng)歸于hence

因此；從此inthat

由于；因?yàn)椋患热涣?用于表示總結(jié)的過渡詞aboveall最重要的是atlast最后briefly簡(jiǎn)單扼要地consequently因此eventually最后inaword總之inbrief簡(jiǎn)言之inconclusion總之；最后inshort簡(jiǎn)而言之insummary簡(jiǎn)要地說(shuō)insum總之；簡(jiǎn)而言之obviously顯然Tip2:擴(kuò)充內(nèi)容:縱向——細(xì)節(jié)要具體Managingourweightscientificallyisveryimportant.Ithelpsusstayhealthyandavoiddiseases.Inparticular,maintainingahealthyweightcanreducetheriskofdevelopingtype2diabetesbyupto58%.Moreover,itimprovesourconfidenceandsocialimage.Forinstance,peoplewhomanagetheirweightwellaremorelikelytoparticipateingroupactivitiesandfeelbetterabouthowtheylookinphotos.Herearesomesuggestions.First,weshouldhaveabalanceddiet.Thismeansincludingmorefruitsandvegetablesinourdailymeals.Additionally,Regularexercise,suchas30minutesofdailywalkingorjogging,isessentialformaintainingourweightandoverallhealth.正確審題Tip1:定體裁，時(shí)態(tài)，人稱，要點(diǎn)充實(shí)內(nèi)容Tip2:

橫向——要點(diǎn)多維度縱向——細(xì)節(jié)要具體Tip3:過渡詞與書寫過渡/書寫SUMMARY正確審題2.

人稱：

3.時(shí)態(tài)

4.要點(diǎn)：

。充實(shí)內(nèi)容3.

橫向：要點(diǎn)多維度

4.

縱向：細(xì)節(jié)要具體problem+consequence①②...suggestion+reason①②...（2023全國(guó)I）假定你是李華，外教Ryan準(zhǔn)備將學(xué)生隨機(jī)分為兩人一組，讓大家課后練習(xí)口語(yǔ)，你認(rèn)為這樣分組存在問題。請(qǐng)你給外教寫一封郵件，內(nèi)容包括:1. 說(shuō)明問題；2. 提出建議。

1.Thetexttypeis

GROUP

WORK第一人稱一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)difference

inpreferred

topicsIt

may

ignore

that

students

maybe

interested

in

different

topics.It

may

result

in

students

with

vastly

differen