高三12月檢測訓(xùn)練《讀后續(xù)寫》解析講義一、前文銜接核心要求（一）人物行為邏輯一致性核心人物1：前文設(shè)定為書店忠實愛好者，攜帶承載回憶的物品參與溝通，續(xù)寫需圍繞“以情感傳遞書店價值”展開，契合溫和且堅定的人物特質(zhì)，避免強硬對抗。核心人物2：前文為“側(cè)重商業(yè)利益”的代表，轉(zhuǎn)變需自然過渡，通過核心人物1的講述及老物件的情感共鳴，使其認知書店的人文價值，進而提出“書店+咖啡館”的雙贏方案。長者角色：從“陷入挫敗”到“重燃希望”，其反應(yīng)需呼應(yīng)最終融合方案，凸顯對書店的不舍與欣慰。（二）沖突化解的合理性矛盾核心為“商業(yè)開發(fā)”與“人文情懷”的對立，續(xù)寫不可簡單讓某一方妥協(xié)，需設(shè)計“融合共生”的結(jié)局——既滿足商業(yè)盈利需求，又保留書店的精神內(nèi)核，符合現(xiàn)實邏輯，同時升華“新舊共生”的主題。（三）前文伏筆的呼應(yīng)核心人物1攜帶的書簽、收據(jù)、照片及某本經(jīng)典書籍，均為關(guān)鍵伏筆，續(xù)寫中需讓這些物品成為傳遞情感、打動對方的直接載體，避免道具閑置。二、原文本重點語塊分類（一）環(huán)境描寫類（營造氛圍）aquietislandinthenoisystreamofthemoderncity（鬧市里的寧靜孤島）weatheredbutproud（飽經(jīng)風(fēng)霜卻傲然挺立）ashelterforbooklovers（書迷的避風(fēng)港）warm,invitinglight（溫暖誘人的燈光）thesmellofoldpaper（舊紙張的氣息）（二）情感態(tài)度類（體現(xiàn)人物心境）aphysicalblow（沉重打擊）worrywaswrittenallovereveryone’sfaces（人人面露愁容）feltdefeated（感到挫?。﹉isheartpoundinginhischest（心跳如鼓）（三）人物身份與動機類representingalargedevelopmententity（代表一家大型開發(fā)主體）profitableupgrade（盈利性改造）itwasjustbusiness（這不過是筆生意）（四）細節(jié)道具類（推動情節(jié)）abookmarkfromone’stenthbirthday（十歲生日的書簽）areceiptfromthefirstbookboughtwithone’sownmoney（用零花錢買第一本書的收據(jù)）aworncopyofaclassicnovel（一本破舊的經(jīng)典小說）三、參考范文范文一Paragraph1Hecouldn’tletthishappen—notwithouttryingtomakehisvoiceheard.Takingadeepbreathtosteadyhistremblinghands,hesteppedforwardandplacedallthetreasuresfromhisbackpackonthetableonebyone.Hepickedupthefadedphotographandpointedatthegrinningboyinit,tellingtheotherpartythatthiswasthesummerhe’dstruggledwithlonelinessandtheelderhadlenthimbooksforfree.Thenheheldupthetatteredclassicnovel,sayingithadbeenhispanionthroughcountlessrainyafternoonsintheshop’scozycorner.Ashespoke,moreregularsgatheredatthedoor,sharingtheirownstoriesofhowthebookstorehadfortedtheminhardtimes.Theotherparty’scoldexpressionsoftenedgradually.Shedidn’tinterrupt,hereyesfixedonthewelllovedbookinhishand.Paragraph2Adecisionwasmadetobineabookstoreandacaféinoneproject,andtheconstructionbegan.Theworkerstookgreatcaretopreservetheoriginalwoodensignandthevintagebookshelves,whileaddingasmallcaféareawithsoftsofasandwarmfairylights.Whenthenewshopreopened,theairwasfilledwiththeperfectmixofoldpaperandfreshlygroundcoffee.Theelderstayedontomanagethebooksection,andthecorefigurevolunteeredtohostweeklyreadingsessionsforkids.Theprojectrepresentativeoftendroppedbyafterwork,sittinginthecornerwithalatteandaclassicnovel.Theonceendangeredbookstorewasnolongerjustaquietisland—itbecameavibrantspotwheretraditionandmodernitycoexistedharmoniously,winningtheheartsofbotholdandnewvisitors.范文二Paragraph1Hecouldn’tletthishappen—notwithouttryingtomakehisvoiceheard.Takingadeepbreath,hesteppedforwardandlaidouttheitemsfromhisbackpackonthetable:thefrayedbookmark,thefadedreceipt,andthephotoofhimandtheelderlaughingoverapileofbooks.Hethenhelduptheclassicnovel,hisvoicetremblingbutfirmashetoldtheprojectrepresentativehowthisbookstorehadshapedhischildhood,howitwasahavenforkidswholovedreading,andhowitmeantmoretotheneighborhoodthanjustabuilding.Headdedthatmanyregulars,youngandold,regardeditasasecondhome.Therepresentativelistenedquietly,herexpressionsofteningashespoke,nolongerlookinglikeacoldbusinessorientedpersonbutsomeonewhowastrulyhearinghiswords.Paragraph2Adecisionwasmadetobineabookstoreandacaféinoneproject,andtheconstructionbegan.Theworkerscarefullypreservedthewoodensignandthecozyreadingcorners,whileaddingwarmlightingandfortabletablesforthecaféarea.Whenitreopenedmonthslater,theshopsmelledofbotholdpaperandfreshlybrewedcoffee.Theelderbeamedbehindthecounter,andthecorefigurehelpedorganizeanewsummerreadingprogramforkids.Theprojectrepresentativeevenvisitedsometimes,sittinginacornerwithabookandacupoflatte.Thebookstorewasnolongerjustanislandofquiet—itbecameaplacewheretheoldandnewblendedperfectly,abelovedspotthatwouldstayintheneighborhoodforyearstoe.官方范文Hecouldn’tletthishappen—notwithouttryingtomakehisvoiceheard.Astheprojectrepresentativeflippedthroughthecontract,hegrippedtheclassicnovel,steppingforwardwithcourage.“MayIshowyousomething?”Helaidoutabookmarkandfadedphotos—tangiblethreadsoftheneighborhood’smemories.“Thisstoreisn’tjustwoodandshelves:hereIlearnedtodream,somelocalsreadtokidsweekly,andtheelderfoundmyfirstpoetrybook.”Hiseyesglistenedaschildrenglancedfromthecorner,clutchingbooks.“It’salivinglegacy,notjustprofit.”Therepresentative’spenfroze,hergazesofteningandhesitationflickeringacrossherface.Adecisionwasmadetobineabookstoreandacaféinoneproject,andtheconstructionbegan.Workershandledthestorewithutmostcare,craftingacozycafébarbathedinwarmlight.Thecorefigurevolunteereddiligently,sortingbooksandhanginglightsthatcastgentleglowsonpages.Whenthedoorsreopened,joyfilledtheair:kidsstretchedoncushionsreading,andelderschattedoverthebar.Theeldersmiledbythedoorasthestorebreathednewlife—nolongerjustabooklovers’shelter,butavibrantharbourwherememoriesenduredandnewstoriesunfolded.四、評分標準（一）評分原則本題總分25分，按以下5個檔次給分。評分時，先根據(jù)文章的內(nèi)容和語言初步確定其所屬檔次，然后以該檔次的要求來衡量，確定或調(diào)整檔次，最后給分。評分時，應(yīng)重點關(guān)注：與所給短文及段落開頭語的銜接程度；內(nèi)容的豐富性和創(chuàng)新性；應(yīng)用語法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯的豐富性和準確性；上下文的連貫性。詞數(shù)少于130或多于170的，從總分中減去2分。拼寫與標點符號是語言準確性的重要方面，評分時應(yīng)視其對交際的影響程度予以考慮。英、美拼寫及詞匯用法均可接受。如書寫較差，以致影響交際，將分數(shù)降低一個檔次。（二）各檔次給分范圍和要求檔次分數(shù)區(qū)間具體要求第五檔21—25分1.與所給短文融洽度高，與各段落開頭語銜接自然合理；<br>2.內(nèi)容充實，細節(jié)豐富且有創(chuàng)新性；<br>3.熟練運用語句間連接成分，續(xù)寫短文結(jié)構(gòu)嚴謹，表達流暢自然。第四檔16—20分1.與所給短文融洽度較高，與段落開頭語銜接較為合理；<br>2.內(nèi)容比較豐富，有一定細節(jié)；<br>3.較好地運用語句間連接成分，續(xù)寫短文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊，表達較為流暢。第三檔11—15分1.與所給短文關(guān)系較為密切，與段落開頭語有一定銜接；<br>2.寫出若干相關(guān)內(nèi)容，有基礎(chǔ)細節(jié)；<br>3.應(yīng)用簡單的語句間連接成分，全文內(nèi)容基本連貫，表達基本合理。第二檔6—10分1.與所給短文有一定關(guān)聯(lián)，與段落開頭語銜接不夠自然；<br>2.寫出部分相關(guān)內(nèi)容，細節(jié)不足；<br>3.較少使用語句間連接成分，全文內(nèi)容連貫性不足，表達不夠合理。第一檔1—5分1.與段落開頭語銜接較差，與所給短文關(guān)聯(lián)性弱；<br>2.內(nèi)容單薄，幾乎無有效信息；<br>3.全文內(nèi)容不連貫，表達邏輯混亂。不得分0分白卷；內(nèi)容過少無法判斷；所寫內(nèi)容與所提供內(nèi)容無關(guān)。五、實用句式結(jié)構(gòu)（一）比喻修辭句式（提升文采）原句：Thebookstorewasaquietislandinthenoisystreamofthemoderncitywasa[具象名詞]inthe[抽象/對立場景]of...例句：Theoldlibrarywasabrightbeaconinthedulldarknessofthesmalltown.（二）情感沖擊表達句式原句：Thenewsfeltlikeaphysicalblowtohim...仿寫結(jié)構(gòu)：Thenewsfeltlikea[具象打擊名詞]tosb.,who...例句：Thefailureofthepetitionfeltlikeasharpstabtoher,whohadpreparedforitformonths.（三）動作+心理描寫結(jié)合句式（塑造人物）原句：Hewatchedfromthesidelines,hisheartpoundinginhischest.仿寫結(jié)構(gòu)：Sb.[動作],his/her[身體部位][狀態(tài)]with[情緒].例句：Shestoodtherewaitingfortheresult,herhandstremblingwithanxiety.（四）讓步轉(zhuǎn)折句式（表達對立與融合）續(xù)寫衍生句：Thecoverwasfaded,thepagesyellowed,butthespinestillheldstrong.仿寫結(jié)構(gòu)：[描述A的缺陷],[描述B的缺陷],but[核心優(yōu)勢依然存在].例句：Thehousewassmall,thewallswerecracked,butthewarmthinsideneverfaded.（五）“感官融合”描寫句式（營造氛圍）續(xù)寫衍生句：Theairwasfilledwiththeperfectmixofoldpaperandfreshlygroundcoffee.仿寫結(jié)構(gòu)：Theairwasfilledwiththemixof[感官1]and[感官2],evoking...例句：Thegardenwasfilledwiththemixofsweetflowerfragranceandsoftbirdsongs,evokingasenseofpeace.六、情節(jié)設(shè)計優(yōu)化句式（一）細節(jié)描寫+情感烘托句式Thetatteredcopyoftheclassicnovel,fadedanddogeared,hadlongbeenawitnesstohisquietgrowthandsweetchildhoodmemories.（那本破舊卷邊、封面褪色的經(jīng)典小說，長久以來都是他默默成長與甜蜜童年回憶的見證者。）Theprojectrepresentativelistenedsilently,withhereyesfixedontheyellowedreceipt,asifshecouldseethelittleboywho’dsavedpocketmoneyforhisfirstbook.（項目負責(zé)人靜靜聽著，目光緊鎖著那張泛黃的收據(jù)，仿佛真的能看見那個攢零花錢買下人生第一本書的小男孩。）（二）沖突轉(zhuǎn)折+態(tài)度轉(zhuǎn)變句式Whattheprojectrepresentativehadseenasaprofitablebusinessdealsoonturnedouttobeaspiritualhavencherishedbythewholeneighborhood.（項目負責(zé)人原本以為只是一筆盈利的生意，后來卻發(fā)現(xiàn)，這里是整個街區(qū)都視若珍寶的精神港灣。）Gonewerethedayswhenthebookstorewasthreatenedwithclosure;instead,itbeca