1、Commentaries on the Version of J個(gè)女人是這樣衰老的一個(gè)女人是這樣衰老的SV： How a Woman Ages/A Woman Aging/A Woman Fades Thus/What causes a Womarto GrowOld/The Wayin Which a womanis Aging/How a Woman Gets OldRV: The Way Woman Withers點(diǎn)評(píng)： Rhetorical Device: distillation and aesthetic hightlights of language, either Chines

2、e or English/The successful employment of alliteration（ 頭韻）二十歲的時(shí)候，我穿著一條背心式牛仔裙在校園里走來走去，一說話就臉紅。三十歲的我穿著名牌套裝，坐在辦公桌前，滿臉 冷酷地對(duì)下屬說：“這么愚蠢的問題你也敢問？也不先打個(gè)草稿?！盨V: At the age of twenty, I walked about on the campus, wearing a vestlike jean skirt. My face would turn red whenever I speak. After I have turned thirty,

3、 I am seated in front of a bureau, in a suit of famous brand, reproaching a subordinate coldlyHow dare you ask such a stupid question? Why didnt you makea draft first? ”RV: At the age of twenty, wearing a jeans jumper, I moved about on the campus, myface blushing the moment! had the inclination to m

4、ake an utterance. At the age of thirty, I, wearing a famous-brand suit and a cold look, reproach my subordinate bluntly, How can you go so far as to raise such a silly, mindless question? ”點(diǎn)評(píng)：Zeugma（鈍式修飾法）：a figure of speech in which a single word, usually a verb or adjective, is syntactically relat

5、ed to two or more words, though having a different sense in relation to each. More examples:The senator picked up his hat and his courage/She possessed two false teeth and a sympathetic heart/ He lost the game and his temper.二十歲的時(shí)候，從圖書館借的是莎士比亞全集、一個(gè)青年 藝術(shù)家的自畫像和尤里西斯。三十歲之后，床頭擺的是跟 莊密笈、ELLE和經(jīng)理人白個(gè)人魅力.SV: A

6、t the age of twenty, The Collected Works of Shakespeare,The Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man, and Ulysses wereborrowed from the library. After thirty, Strategy of Speculation on Stocks, ELLE and Manager s Personal Charm were put on the bedside.RV: At the age of twenty, I borrowed books from the

7、library like Shakespeares Complete Works, A Portrait of the Artist as aYoungMan, Ulysses. After thirty, on my bedside, lie such books and magazines as The Recipe on Stocks, Elle and Managers Charm. 點(diǎn)評(píng)：Syntactically（依照句法地）,aesthetic value goes toEng-Weightness in English, which is not the case with C

8、hinese. For example:Goneare the days whenI wasyoung. VS. The days when I was young are gone.Word came that bribery 行賄 has sent him to prison. VS. Word that bribery has sent him to prison came.二十歲的暑假，在家鄉(xiāng)的大街上偶遇自己的暗戀對(duì)象，聽說他考上了研究生，被他的進(jìn)步所打擊，心如刀絞，想到這輩子終于 不能出色得讓他看我一眼，不禁悵然淚下。三十歲之后，到處打 聽那里可以花錢買個(gè)MBA.SV: At 20,

9、 during a summerholiday I encountered my beloved one on the street of my hometown. I heard he was admitted to be a graduate. I was struck by his advance. I couldnt help shedding tears in my extreme grief. I thought that for this life I could never achieve much to let him see me in a new light. After

10、 30, I inquire everywhere where to purchase an MBA certificate.RV: At the age of twenty, I ran into the young manwhomI loved in private in the street of my hometown. Upon hearing that he had been enrolled as a graduate, I was virtually dealt a heavy blow believing reluctantly so painful a fact that

11、I could never do well enough to win his favor, bitter tears streaming down mycheeks. After thirty, I busy myself here and there, inquiring where I could by an MBA diploma.點(diǎn)評(píng)：Aesthetically（審美地）speaking, English appreciatessentence possessing a short main clause, with many words, phrases and clauses a

12、ttached to it, something like a cluster of grapes, while Chinese favors sentence structure resembling bamboo, on segment after another.二十歲的時(shí)候，隨時(shí)隨地向人透露我的年齡，答得比問的還快。三十歲之后，最恨別人問年齡，你要是非問不可，你猜啊。SV: At the age of twenty, I was always ready to disclose my age on all occasions and could not wait to speak ou

13、t the answer until the inquirer finished his words. After I have turned thirty,I hate any inquiry about my age. If you insist, have a guess.RV: At the age of twenty, I wasso ready to reveal myage, telling people about my age frequently before they inquired. After thirty, age becamealmost a taboo to

14、me. If somebodyis so nosy, I respond, Guess.”點(diǎn)評(píng)： English is a language of metaphor, leaving no stoneunturned in exploiting the metaphorical meaning, or rather the connotative （轉(zhuǎn)義的）meaning, of very single word, whileChinese language is heavily denotation（本義）-dependent.二十歲的時(shí)候，一心想和體育系、美術(shù)系的男生約會(huì)。三十歲后，我簡直

15、認(rèn)為自己當(dāng)年是白癡。SV: When in my twenties, I was only willing to date boys from sports or art department. After thirty, I even thought I had been an idiot before.RV: At the age of twenty, I did long to date with the boys from either physical education, or the art department. After thirty, it seems so unbeli

16、evable that I once idiotically possessed that thought.點(diǎn)評(píng)：Lexically （詞匯地）speaking, part of the aesthetic valuegoes to flexible word formation in English which dwarfs Chinese二十歲的時(shí)候，有書店必須逛，有書必買。三十歲之后，對(duì)書店視而不見，直接去了隔壁的美容院。SV: At the age of twenty, I frequented the bookstores and bought whatever I found. A

17、fter thirty, I ignored them and went ahead into the nearby beauty parlor（店?duì)I業(yè)室）RV: At the age of twenty, the bookstore was a must for me, andI was a big book buyer. While after thirty, paying no attentionto the bookstore, I breeze into the beauty parlor next door.,電評(píng)：It is universally acknowledged th

18、at obscurity and abstract, occasionally creates more aesthetic value, which can accomplish more accuracy and gracefulness.二十歲的時(shí)候，老媽打電話，不等說完三句就恨不能掛了電話。 三十歲之后，一聽到媽的聲音就禁不住哭出聲來：“媽呀，您老的 所有擔(dān)心現(xiàn)在都應(yīng)驗(yàn)了”SV: At the age of twenty, when mother phones me, I am anxiousto hang up immediately. After the age of thirty

19、, on hearing mothers voice on the phone, I cannot help crying out,Mom,all that you worry about have come true. ”RV: At the age of twenty, while talking with my mother over the phone, I wanted to hang up before my mother had finished a few words. After thirty, the voice of Mom invariably triggers my

20、crying, Mom, your worries about my marriage have all come true. ”點(diǎn)評(píng)： Chinese expressions involve more obscurity, a sign of lavishly artistically-conceived（持有藝術(shù)的）language, whileEnglish pins （緊扣） more aesthetic value on clarity and legibility（易辨認(rèn), 易理解）,a manifestation of a languagelargely governed by

21、logic.傅雷：東方人和西方人的思想方式有基本分歧，我人重綜合、重歸納 重暗示、重含蓄；西方人則重分析，細(xì)微曲折、挖掘惟恐不盡，描寫 惟恐不周。王力：西洋語法是硬的，沒有彈性；中國語法是軟的，富有彈性。中 國語法以達(dá)意為主。楊振寧：中國的文化是模糊、朦朧及總體的方向走，而西方的文化是 向準(zhǔn)確而具體的方向走。漢語，寫詩卻是一個(gè)優(yōu)點(diǎn)。二十歲的時(shí)候，我真想往前沖，誰也別擋我。三十歲之后，我 真想賴著不走啊，又快過年了。SV: At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any apprehension. In mythirties, I striv

22、e to hang on to the moment: another New Year is looming.RV: At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any concern for the passing days and years. In my thirties,I strive to hangon to every moment: Unfortunately, another New Year looms on the horizon.點(diǎn)評(píng)： The Chinese text seems to be vague and im

23、plicit; theliteral version done by my student goes like this: At the ageof twenty, I dashed forward without any apprehension. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to the moment: another New Yearis looming. Could you understand this literal version?/ Answer: The literal version is ok. But I would make

24、 a few changes:Atthe age of twenty, I dashed forward without any concern for the passing days and years. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to every moment: Unfortunately, another New Year looms on the horizon.9.二十歲的時(shí)候，我想出名要趁早，一個(gè)人到了三十歲還籍籍無名那還活個(gè)什么勁呀？三十歲之后，名是不指望了，只希望在四 十歲的時(shí)候能象我老板一樣有錢。SV: At the age o

25、f twenty, I said, to gain fame, the earlier the better. How dull it should be one is still infamous in her thirties! In my thirties, reputation is no longer my desire.I only have a wish to be as rich as my boss in my forties.RV: At the age of twenty, its better to be famous before itstoo late, I bel

26、ieved. What would be the spice of life for a person deserted （ 放棄）by fame when approaching thirty? After thirty, fame seems still beyond reach, yet being as rich as my boss at forty becomes my new dream.,電評(píng)：Oneof the important criteria in aesthetic judgement for English is hypotaxis（ 形合）,while Chine

27、se is a language of parataxis （意 合）； the logic syntactical relationship is self-evident. Make a comparison:燕子去了，有再來的時(shí)候；楊柳枯了，有再青的時(shí)候；桃花謝了， 有再開的時(shí)候。但是，聰明的，你告訴我，我們的日子為什么一去不 復(fù)返呢？Swallows mayhave gone, but there is a time of return; willow trees may have died back, but there is a time of regreening;peach b

28、lossoms mayhave fallen, but they will bloom again. Now, you the wise, tell me, why should our days leave us, never to return?.二十歲的時(shí)候，擁擠在人頭攢動(dòng)的公共大巴上，吃著甜筒，挺開 心。三十歲之后，看見破舊骯臟的的士都心煩，拜托！油價(jià)一跌， 就去買車吧，一路開往小康。. SV: At the age of twenty, I felt happy squeezed in a crammedbus eating an ice-cream. After I have tu

29、rned thirty, I hate to look at the dirty, worn-out taxis. Thank goddess!Once the oil price declines, I llbuy a car to myself and drive all the way to a comfortable life.RV: At the age of twenty, I felt so contented sandwiched in a jammedbus, eating ice cream. After thirty, even the sight of a shabby

30、 and sordid （ 月亢臟的）taxi may sicken me. Ok! When the oil price goes down, I will buy a car, drive along the road of Well-To-Do（小康的）.點(diǎn)評(píng)：Impersonal Subject Sentence is the pride of English language, inviting much aesthetic value, while Chinese, syntactically neglecting the employment of subject, employ

31、 few impersonal subjects.二十歲的時(shí)候，打賭說我這輩子不可能土到死守在一個(gè)地方，生 活在別處嘛。三十歲之后，我為了在這座城市買個(gè)滿意又便宜的 房子跑斷了雙腿。SV: At the age of twenty, I bet there was fat chance that I should rustically live my lifetime in one place, as the saying goes, a beautiful life occurs elsewhere. In my thirties, I spare no strength running f

32、or a decent and inexpensive house in the local city.RV: At the age of twenty, I bet that I would never reside in one city the rest of my life. Id choose to live in differentplaces. After thirty, I ran my feet off searching for an apartment, satisfying and cheap.,電評(píng)： A way to achieve end-weight: afte

33、r-position adjectivesFor example: He comes into the light of every-day like a great leviathan（圣經(jīng)中象征邪惡的）海中怪獸，巨物）of the deep, breaking the smooth surface of accepted things, gay, serious, and sportive.二十歲的時(shí)候，看小說專挑和愛情有關(guān)的情節(jié)看。三十歲之后， 我在聊天室里的代號(hào)叫“不談愛情”。SV: At the age of twenty, I only read paragraphs about

34、live in reading novels. At the age of 30, my namewas no speaking love ” in chat-room on the Internet.RV: At the age of twenty, while reading a novel, I abandoned my self to the chapters exclusively devoted to romance. After thirty, I dubbed myself as No Mention of Love. in the Internet chat-room點(diǎn)評(píng)：C

35、areful handling of register recruit invites more aesthetic appreciation.二十歲的時(shí)候，一聽到名人就激動(dòng)不已，就歡呼雀躍，就奮不顧 身往前沖。三十歲之后，一聽到名人就若有所失，就心煩意亂， 就怒火中燒，就不知道什么滋味，特別是年輕的，漂亮的， 女的名人。SV: When I was twenty, hearing the name of the famous man, I would be so exited that I could almost jump up with cheer and dashed ahead re

36、gardless of my safety. After thirty, I was indifferent, annoyed, flew into a temper and I had no feelingto hear the nameof the famous man, particularly of those famous, young and pretty females who were young and pretty.RV: At the age of twenty, upon hearing a celebrity, I would rush forward, hot-blooded, jumping for joy. After thirty, upon hearing the namesof celebrities, I feel lost, vexed （惱怒）and burning with anger, especially the names of those famous fe