高考英語(yǔ)讀后續(xù)寫語(yǔ)篇練習(xí)1——鯊魚口脫險(xiǎn)題目分析讀后續(xù)寫題目再現(xiàn)范文呈現(xiàn)努力方向2Part1題目再現(xiàn)3續(xù)寫原文ItwasaSundaymorning.Bettywokeupearlierthanusual.Shecouldn’tsleepanylongerbecauseshewassoexcitedthatheruncleMarkwastakinghertothebeach.Shehadalwayslovedgoingsurfingwithheruncle.Sheputherswimmingsuitonandtookquicklythatshehadpreparedthenightgotbeforeandwentoutsidetowait.Shejumpedupanddownwithjoywhenshesawheruncle’sredjeepturnthecornerdownherstreet.UncleMarkgotoutofthecarandhelpedBettygetin.“Areyouready?”heasked.“Yes!”repliedBetty.UncleMarkcouldseetheexcitementinherface.Suddenlyhesaidseriously,“Well,beforewego,Ihavetoletyouknowthatasharkappearedrecentlywherewe'regoingtosurftoday.”Scaredandshocked,Bettycouldn’tsayaword.“Haha!I'mkiddingyou,”UncleMarkburstoutlaughing.Bettylaughedtoo.SheknewUncleMarklikedteasingothers.“Let’sgoandhavesomebreakfast,Iknowjusttheplace,”UncleMarksaid.Theywenttoabreakfastshopandatesometacos(炸玉米餅).4續(xù)寫原文AfterbreakfastthetwoofthemwentdowntoPacificBeachandgottheirsurfboardsready.“Firstyouhavetowax(打蠟)thebottom,explainedUncleMark.“Iknow.I’vewatchedyoudoitbefore!"BettysaidasshetookthewaxfromUncleMark'shand.Ittookabout15minutestowaxthebottomoftheirboards.WhenBettyfinished,UncleMarklookeditovertomakesureitwasdonewell.“Nicejob,Betty,youwaxyourboardlikeatruesurfer.”Finally,theywerereadytogetintothewater.Theycarriedtheirboardsdowntothebeachandwentoutintothewater.Bettywasoverlyexcitedandtriedtorushtocatchawave.Predictably,shecrashedandhadtostartover.Nextwasheruncle'sturn.Hestooduponhisfirsttryandsmoothlysurfedthewavebeforejumpingintothewater.Bettycheeredforheruncle'sperfectrun.5段首句Paragraph1：Allofasudden,Bettyfeltsomethingtouchingthebottomofherfoot.Paragraph2：“Help!Help!”Bettyscreamedinhorror.6Part2題目分析7續(xù)寫已知內(nèi)容第一段：本段交代了主要人物和故事背景，一個(gè)周日的早上Betty很早就起來了，因?yàn)檫@一天Mark叔叔要帶她去沙灘上沖浪，她心情激動(dòng)，迫不及待，這時(shí)Mark叔叔的車來了。第二段：Mark叔叔接上了Betty，跟她開玩笑說這次要去的水域最近報(bào)告有鯊魚出沒（這里可以看作一個(gè)伏筆），然后兩人就去吃早餐了。第三段：兩人來到了沙灘上，進(jìn)行一些沖浪前的準(zhǔn)備動(dòng)作，主要是給沖浪板打蠟。第四段：本段主要描寫Mark叔叔和Betty準(zhǔn)備好后下水沖浪的情景。可以看到，前四段已經(jīng)將主要的人物和事件交代清楚，屬于記敘文，敘事的脈絡(luò)就是按照時(shí)間順序來展開的，續(xù)寫的部分要結(jié)合所給的開頭部分來繼續(xù)講述Betty和Mark叔叔在沖浪時(shí)發(fā)生的事情。8點(diǎn)1：位于續(xù)寫第一段段首，流暢銜接前面的記敘文和第一段段首語(yǔ)；點(diǎn)2：位于續(xù)寫第一段段尾，流暢銜接第二段段首句；點(diǎn)3：位于續(xù)寫第二段段首，續(xù)寫銜接第二段段首語(yǔ)；點(diǎn)4：文章結(jié)尾升華，給予讀者正能量，揭示和強(qiáng)調(diào)主題。情節(jié)構(gòu)建的重點(diǎn)9續(xù)寫建議第一段：續(xù)寫第一段給出的情節(jié)是“突然Betty感覺到有東西碰到了自己的腳”，而續(xù)寫第二段“救命！救命！Betty恐懼地大叫道”表明Betty在水中遭遇了險(xiǎn)情，這里就可以呼應(yīng)到第二段埋下的伏筆，即Betty在水里真的遇到了鯊魚，但仍然需要一個(gè)確認(rèn)的過程，續(xù)寫第一段就可以圍繞這一點(diǎn)展開，描述Betty如何察覺危險(xiǎn)、她的情緒如何變化、她作出何種應(yīng)對(duì)，甚至可以描寫鯊魚進(jìn)行了攻擊但沒有命中，渲染危急緊張的氣氛。第二段：續(xù)寫第二段就應(yīng)該切入另外一個(gè)人物Mark叔叔了，聽到Betty的求救，他會(huì)作何反應(yīng)，二人又將如何化險(xiǎn)為夷，這里是有較大的發(fā)揮空間的。另外建議續(xù)寫比較圓滿的結(jié)局，這樣更加符合一般故事的走向和價(jià)值觀。10Part3范文呈現(xiàn)11范文呈現(xiàn)Allofasudden,Bettyfeltsomethingtouchingthebottomofhisfeet.Failingtoresisttheimpulseofcuriosity,sheloweredherglance.Withinasecond,hercheekspaled,andachillsweptoverherbody.Asetofcrimsonandfierceeyescameintohersight.Ashark,itstailshaking,itsjawsclicking,madealeapfromtheseaandafterwardsdovebackintothewater.Picturingthesharkteethtoremeatoffherleg,Bettyfeltasinkinginherheart,andherheartinhisthroat.12范文呈現(xiàn)"Help!Help!"Bettyscreamedinhorror.Noreply.Allwassilence.ThewaveofthePacificOceanrose,tighteningherthroat,makingitmoreandmorehardtobreathe."Godbless."heprayeddesperatelywithquiveringlips.Whenthecoloroftheindigoblueskyseeminglyfadedawayfromthevisionandbeforetheconsciousnesswaslosttotally,afamiliarvoicebrokethedeadsilence.ItwasUncleMarkwhoswamcloseinarush,graspedBettyfirmlywithonehand,anddraggedhertowardthebeach.Withthetidegentlyrollingtoherfeet,Bet