幽默英語(yǔ)面試對(duì)話面試官：L

應(yīng)聘者一：Z

應(yīng)聘者二：T

室內(nèi)

L:（上來(lái)擦桌子，擺放文件，然后回頭）TodayisthefirstdayofFoxconnGroupsjobinterview.Imresponsiblefortherecruitment。ImLi.Werecruitallkindsofelitefromnationwide.Swifthorseisveryoftenbutboleishardtofind。Imjustthebole.Itiswellknown,Ourcompanysbenefitsoccupyacertainheightintheworld,Foxconnsecond,whowoulddaretosaythefirst?

Welcometothejobfairtoday.Letsstarttheinterviewwithsomequestions.Nowpleasemakeasimpleintroduceaboutyourself.

Z:Goodmorning.Itisreallymyhonortohavetheopportunityforaninterview.IhopeIcanmakeagoodperformancetodayandIamconfidentthatIcansucceed.MynameisWangYe.Myfatheris“LiGang”.Li,wehaveknowneachother,right?LastnightyouandIhadourdinnertogetherandIwonderifyouhavelostsomething.Ibelievethatthisbookmustbelongtoyou.(Z拿出一本書，書中夾著幾張100元錢，施接過(guò)書，把錢收起來(lái)，咳嗽兩聲，假裝正經(jīng)連續(xù)面試。)IhavejustgraduatedfromXXUniversitywithgoodaility.Andalso,Ihaveapowerfulfamilybackground.IthinkitwillbehelpfultobothofusifIcanentrethiscompany.That’sall,andIbelieveitisenough.Thankyou.

L:Iamveryoptimisticaboutyou.

T:Iamalmostasaint,Ihavenoshortcoming.ItdoesnotmatterwhereIcomefromorwhereIwillgo.Neverexpcetmetoquestion,Iamnotagoodquestioner.youdonotneedtokeepmywordsinyourmind,becausewhatIsayistrivial.Ifbeautyisasin,Ihavecommittedheinouscrimes;ifthereiswrongwithatype,Ihavemadethesamemistakeagainandagain;ifwisemustbepunished,Iwillbehackedinpieces;ifmodestyissubjectedtobetorture,howcouldIeverescapedinsucceed?

L:Icanfeltyourmodesty.

L:Whatisyourideal?Z

Z:Don,ttalkaboutidealwithme,Imgivingup.

L:Doyouhaveanideal?T

T:Nevertrytospyoutmythought,itisanextremelydangerousthing.Insucharealityworld,Iamnotsureitisrightornottotalkaboutthedreams.Butanyway,everyoneshouldhaveadream,incaseitcomestrue,right?Ioncehadmanydreamsinmylife,bigorsmall,butnow,Ijustwanttogettheofferofthisjoy.

L:Idealisveryplentiful,realityisveryskinny.4yearsofageIdreamsofbeingthekindergartenteacher,becausetheteacherunlimitedtoeatnoodles,alsocaneatwhilechatting.Icanonlyeatabowl,cannoteattooslow,cannotspeak,norcanspillsouponthetableorsomeoneelsespants.10yearsoldmyambitionwastobethedaughterofanEnglishteacher,soshewouldnotcallmeupandreciteeveryday,norwillpullingmyearsIhavestutteredback.ButthenIsawherdaughterwhocamebackfromtheUnitedStates,Herearsissurprisinglylarge.14yearsoldmyidealistohaveahighnose,Ioftendomyhomeworknearalamp,thensquintedtoseemysilhouettereflectedonthewall,Imverysadtofindthesilhouetteofmyfacelookslikeamonkeys,nowondernoonefromsmalltobigsaidIlookgood.......

ZandT:Stop!!!

L:OH.I,msorry.Itistoosadtorecallthepast.letsbacktothetopic.Z.WhyshoudIchooseyoufromsomanycandidates?

Z:Justasisaid,Ihaveapowerfulfamilybackground.Myenteringyourcompanywillbringalotofbenefittoboththecompanyandme.ThisisaWin-Winsituation.

L:Talkaboutyourunderstandingofgender.

Z:Iunderstandyourcompany’splan,butsexisnotthekeytoelect

personnel,italsobasedontheindividuallevel.Ihaveexcellentperformanceinallaspects.Someboysdonotbetterthanme.Icanplaytheadvantagesofgirls.AndIamsobeautiful~~

L:Youwanttoapplyforwhatposition.

Z:Marketing.

L:Why.

Z:Ihaveahugedrinkingcapacity.Iwillnotdrunkevenafterathousand

cupsofwine.Thisisagreatestadvantageinmarketing.

L:T.TellmeWhatareyourgreateststrengths?

T:MybiggestadvantageisthatIhavenoshortcoming,Everybodywhoknowsmeallsupposethat.AndIthinkIamquitemodest,really.

L:Whydidyoucometoapplyforourcompany

T:Donotaskmesomuchwhy,itmakesyoulooklikeverystupid.Nevertheless,everyonedeservesajoy,metoo,SinceIdonothaveajoyyet.Ihavetoearnmylive,also,Ihavenoaadoptedfathertodependonlikeothers.

L:Whatdoyouthinkofthedecisionstilldifficulttodo?

T:Ifyourmotherandyourgirlfriendaredrowningatthesametime,whichoneyouwillsavefirst.Ithinkthisquestionisthedifficultonetoanswer.Youknowtherecanbetoomuchtruthinanyrelationships.

L:Canyougivemeanexampleofteamactivitiestoproveyourleadership?

T:Ofcourse.ButIneedaminutetothinksincethatthereissomuchtosay.Anditisalittledifficulttometothinkoftheoldthing.Butasanoldsaying,everymountainisunclimbableuntilsomeoneclimbs.Iamastudentcadresinmycollege,andIalwaysorganizedmyclassmatestoparticipateinthelaboractivities.So,theyallhatedmeinbones.

L:Nowletmetestyourintelligence.Thefirstquestion,Cutacakethreetimesthengivetofivepeople,sohowtocut?

Z:Howtocut?

T:Justlikethis,cut,cut,cut,ok.

L:Youdontwanttoadd?Thesecondquestion.Atotalof25peopleinaclass,the15isnotfemaleandthe16isnotmale,sohowmanypeopleinthisclass?

Z:Hasanyoneisneithermalenorfemale?

T:Areyousuretoquestionmethisstupidquestion?Itisahugeinsulttome.Twenty-five,bytheway,neveraskmesuchquestionagain,thankyou.

L:OK.