再見，狐貍原文本ReadthefollowingpartsquicklyformainideasmainideaMyfirstencounterwiththefoxintheforestThroughoutthedayatschool,Icouldonlythinkofthefoxatthebigbeech(山毛櫸）tree.Atmyreturntotheplacewherewemet,IwassureI'dfinditthere.AndIdid.ThistimeIgatheredalittlebitmorecourageandcalledouttoit,"Fox!"Ofcourseitescaped.butthatonlymademelongtomeetitagain.IdecidedthatifIcouldfinditskennel(洞)andcatchit,Iwouldtryandtame(馴服)it,makingitmyfriend.mainideaTheinteractbetweenmeandthefoxMydreamoftamingandmakingfriendswiththefoxThus,Ispentmostofmyfreetimeintheforeststryingtofindthefoxduringthefollowingmonths.ButIneversawitagainbeforewintercame.Duringthewinter,Ifolloweditsfootprintsfaracrossthefields.SuddenlyIwasalarmedbythehowlingofwolvesnearme.Iranawayfrightened,stumbledandhurtmyankle.Ithealedveryslowly,sothatIhadtostayathomeduringthewinter,readingabookaboutanimalsoftheforestandfoxes.mainideaIdidn’tseethefoxallthewinterasmyanklewasinjuredintheforest.Whenspringarrived,Iwasfreeagain.Ilookedforfoxkennelsandwaitedformyfox.Tomyamazement,ithadgotyoungonesbutkeptmovingbecauseofmyobservations;thereforeIdecidedtoobservethefoxfromalongerdistance.mainideaThefoxbecameamotherofyoungfoxes.Butshehidfromme.Iobservedherinthedistance.

Mystorystartedoneautumnmorning,atthebendonapath.(回扣：始于秋天的一個(gè)早晨，終于秋天的另一個(gè)早晨。）FascinatedtothepointthatIforgotallfear,Idaredtogouptoit.Ihadnevercomesoclosetoawildanimal.

Readforcluesandechoescluesechoes1.Oneautumnmorning,thefoxeventuallyfollowedmetomyhome.2.Thewildfoxwhichfascinatedmesomucheventuallybecameclosetome.

IdecidedthatifIcouldfinditskennel(洞)andcatchit,Iwouldtryandtame(馴服)it,makingitmyfriend.(結(jié)合P2…,itfled.推知最終狐貍沒有被馴化，狐歸森林。）.

Readforcluesandechoescluesechoes

Whenspring

arrived,Iwasfreeagain.Ilookedforfoxkennelsandwaitedformyfox.Tomyamazement,ithadgotyoungonesbutkeptmovingbecauseofmyobservations;thereforeIdecidedtoobservethefoxfromalongerdistance.(我與狐貍開始有近距離接觸的時(shí)間是春天。思考：春天可以描寫森林里的什么景象呢？可以渲染美麗的春天的森林里，我和狐貍一家其樂融融呀?。?/p>

Readforcluesandechoescluesechoes

whowhereWhenThecauseTheprocessTheresultI,fox,herlittlekidsIntheforest,athomeSpring

orautumnIencounteredafox.Idevelopedaclosebondwiththefoxfamilyandtookithome.Thefoxfled.Guess:Why?

SixelementsSixdetailedelementsofthetext定四句1.結(jié)合原文本最后一段定首段第一句2.結(jié)合第二段首句定首段尾句3.結(jié)合第二段首句定第二段第一句4.結(jié)合故事結(jié)局或立意主旨定第二段尾句Para1:Finally,itwouldletmegetclose.Para2:Tomysurprise,thedayafterItookithome,itfled.Whenspring

arrived,Iwasfreeagain.Ilookedforfoxkennelsandwaitedformyfox.Tomyamazement,ithadgotyoungonesbutkeptmovingbecauseofmyobservations;thereforeIdecidedtoobservethefoxfromalongerdistance.根據(jù)原文的故事情節(jié)，結(jié)合第二段首句前半句Itookithome,可知第一段是重在構(gòu)建如何獲得狐貍的信賴，最后帶狐貍回家。寫動物比較難寫，可以考慮童話故事中對動物的處理方式：把動物當(dāng)人看，擬人化的敘事口吻會降低寫作難度。首段情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)Para1:Finally,itwouldletmegetclose.Para2:Tomysurprise,thedayafterItookithome,itfled.Whenspring

arrived,Iwasfreeagain.Ilookedforfoxkennelsandwaitedformyfox.Tomyamazement,ithadgotyoungonesbutkeptmovingbecauseofmyobservations;thereforeIdecidedtoobservethefoxfromalongerdistance.可以追問一下為什么狐貍要逃跑呀？表現(xiàn)一下我的情感，假定帶狐貍回家的季節(jié)輾轉(zhuǎn)來到了秋季，則可以描述一下秋天的森林，美麗的森林是狐貍永遠(yuǎn)的家，最終小作者我明白了，狐貍屬于大自然屬于森林。我們保護(hù)森林，拯救地球，呵護(hù)他們的家園。這才是朋友我、我們應(yīng)該做的。狐貍逃離而去，未曾鄭重告別。夢境中實(shí)現(xiàn)告別及祝福。二段情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)WheneverIvisitedherfamily,Iwouldtooksomefoodlikemilkandmeatandputitbesideherkennel,signaling

herthathercubscouldfeast.

Para1:Finally,itwouldletmegetclose.I；狐貍已經(jīng)有小狐貍了。

結(jié)合年齡特點(diǎn)，我小孩子心性體現(xiàn)一下，帶零食去和小狐貍們示好。

Whenspring

arrived,Iwasfreeagain.Ilookedforfoxkennelsandwaitedformyfox.Tomyamazement,ithadgotyoungonesbutkeptmovingbecauseofmyobservations;thereforeIdecidedtoobservethefoxfromalongerdistance.Para1:Finally,itwouldletmegetclose.Para2:Tomysurprise,thedayafterItookithome,itfled.2:首段尾句/句群：.結(jié)合第二段前半句，我把狐貍帶回家。

Myworkeventuallypaidoff.NotonlycouldIplaygameswiththecubsonthegreengrasslandbutalsoshesometimessniffedmyhandsasiftosay,“Hi,wearefriendsnow.”Astimetickedby/Timetickingby,thebondbetweenmeandthefoxfamilybecamemoreandmoreintimate.Thenoneautumnafternoon,Itookherhome,alongwithheryoungones.Para1:Finally,itwouldletmegetclose.Para2:Tomysurprise,thedayafterItookithome,itfled.3二段首句/句群：結(jié)合主語I+

it進(jìn)行首句創(chuàng)作：雖然我為狐貍提供了避風(fēng)港，但狐貍野性難馴。

Para1:Finally,itwouldletmegetclose.Para2:Tomysurprise,thedayafterItookithome,itfled.4：

二段尾句/句群：結(jié)合主語I+狐貍

進(jìn)行結(jié)尾句創(chuàng)作WhatIcoulddoforherwastodomybesttoprotecttheforestforher.Afterall,theforestwasherdreamhome.Inmydream,IdreamedofherroamingwithherkidsinthedenseforestandenjoyingthefreedomthatIcouldn’toffer.習(xí)作句式及邏輯拆解主語切換方便行文1Para1:Finally,itwouldletmegetclose.（When從句，二連動，doingsth：我怎么去親近狐貍，帶吃的)WheneverIvisitedherfamily,Iwouldtooksomefoodlikemilkandmeatandputitbesideherkennel,signaling

herthatsheandhercubscouldfeast.

(并列句：環(huán)境描寫+結(jié)果：為何帶吃的東西，養(yǎng)娃艱辛哇?。?/p>

Itwasearlyspringsoitwastoughforhertosupportheryoungkidsonherown.(并列句：渲染春天的森林)Spring

wasawonderfulseasonandtheforestwasvigorous.

（無靈主語句：渲染春天的森林鮮花處處。）

Colorfulandfragrantflowerswerebloomingeverywhere.

6.（獨(dú)立主格，主句：歡樂的森林景象）Birds

chirpingcheerfully,squirrelsrunningupanddownthetrees,thelittlefoxeswereplayinghappilywitheachotheraroundtheirkennel.(時(shí)間狀語從句，主句：春去秋來，狐貍一家依戀我。）Asspringwentandautumncame,thefoxfamilybecameattachedtome.（倒裝句：具體表現(xiàn)如何依戀我，親近我）NosoonerhadIapproachedtheirkennelthantheyoungonespokedtheirlittlefurryheadsoutasiftogreetme.（感嘆句：被狐貍信賴的感覺真好，帶狐貍回家嘍?。￤hatafabulousfeeling!Icouldn’twaittotakeithome,alongwithherkids.習(xí)作句式及邏輯拆解主語切換方便行文Para2:Tomysurprise,thedayafterItookithome,itfled.（Done短語，sbdidsth：我好難過）Overwhelmedbyanenormoussenseofsadness,Icouldn’thelpburstintotears.（Doingsth,sbdidsth:我看著空蕩蕩的狐貍新窩，大叫狐貍，只聽到回聲激蕩。）Seeingtheemptynewkennelinouryard,Icalledout“fox”onlytohearmycallsechoinginthesilentwoods.（with結(jié)構(gòu)，sbdidsth:我心情沉重，終于明白一切馴化狐貍的努力終成泡影。）

Withaheavyheart,Icametounderstandthatmyattemptstotameherasmypet/myfriendwerefutile.習(xí)作句式及邏輯拆解主語切換方便行文4.(What主從wastodo…：我能為狐貍做的事情是保護(hù)好森林.）

WhatIneverexpectedwasthatmyhomewasnotattractivetoher.5.

（Doingsth,sbdidsth)小孩子哭，媽媽安慰）Hearingmycries,momwrappedmeinherwarmembraceandconsoledmesoftly,“Shebelongedtotheforest.”6.（Since時(shí)間狀語從句，主句：狐貍再也沒有見到過了。）Sinceshedisappearedfrommyteenagelife,Ihavenevermetheragain.7.（But轉(zhuǎn)折：訴說對狐貍美好的希望。）

Thatnight,Ihadadream,whereshewasroamingwithherkidsinthedenseforestandenjoyingthefreedomthatIcouldn’toffer.8.(二連動+時(shí)間狀語從句：夢里說再見，互相祝福。）AndinthedreamI

saidgoodbyeandwishedthebesttoher.習(xí)作句式及邏輯拆解主語切換方便行文習(xí)作欣賞注意敘事主語的切換1Para1:Finally,itwouldletmegetclose.WheneverIvisitedherfamily,Iwouldtooksomefoodlikemilkandmeatandputitbesideherkennel,signalingherthathercubscouldfeast.Itwasearlyspringanditwastoughforhertosupportheryoungkidsonherown.Springwasawonderfulseasonandtheforestwasvigorous.Variousflowerswerebloomingeverywhere.

Birds

chirpingcheerfully,squirrelsrunningupanddownthetrees,thelittlefoxeswereplayinghappilywitheachotheraroundtheirkennelAsspringwentandautumncame,thefoxfamilybecameattachedtome.NosoonerhadIapproachedtheirkennelthantheyoungonespokedtheirlittlefurryheadsoutasiftogreetme.Whatafabulousfeeling!Icouldn’twaittotakeithome,alongwithherkids.Para2:Tomysurprise,thedayafterItookithome,itfled.Overwhelmedbyanenormoussenseofsadness,Icouldn’thelpburstintotears.Seeingtheemptynewkennelinouryard,,Icalledout“fox”onlytohearmycallsechoinginthesilentwoods.

Withaheavyheart,Icametounderstandthatmyattemptstotameherasmypetwerefutile.）

WhatIneverexpectedwasthatmyhomewasnotattractivetoher.Hearingmycries,momwrappedmeinherwarmembraceandconsoledmesoftly,“Shebelongedtotheforest.”Sinceshedisappearedfrommyteenagelife,Ihavenevermetheragain.Thatnight,Ihadadream,where