【雅思寫(xiě)作】雅思寫(xiě)作7分官方評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)詳解作者

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雅思本文是圣誕節(jié)@人人網(wǎng)雅思哥新浪微博舉辦的派獎(jiǎng)活動(dòng)文章，8.5分雅思達(dá)人朱寧老師親自批改。從雅思寫(xiě)作的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)為出發(fā)點(diǎn)，詳細(xì)的批改了此文，也希望共性的問(wèn)題能引起同學(xué)們的注意！如果大家覺(jué)得這樣的文章很有用，就微信給哥帶個(gè)話(huà)：不錯(cuò)哦！我會(huì)根據(jù)大家的反饋規(guī)劃一下以后的寫(xiě)作活動(dòng)！五號(hào)的時(shí)候哥推送了雅思寫(xiě)作6分官方評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)詳解，大家都覺(jué)得受益匪淺，今天給大家的這篇文章是7分的，大家可以仔細(xì)研究下老師的批注，7分的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)到底是怎樣的。我們一起學(xué)習(xí)吧！

Someexpertsbelievethatitisbetterforchildrentobeginlearningaforeignlanguageatprimaryschoolratherthansecondaryschool.Dotheadvantagesofthisoutweighthedisadvantages?

Foreignlanguageshaveincreasinglygainedpopularityamongstudentstheseyears,giventhattheworldisshrinkingandeachcountrynowhasamorefrequentcontactwiththeoutsideworld.Manypeople[c1]

arguethatchildrenshouldbeginlearningaforeignlanguageatelementaryschool,insteadofwaitinguntil

[c2]

theyentersecondaryschool.Thereareseveralreasonsforthis.

Firstly,despitethefactthatparentsdonotwanttoputtoomuchpressureontheirchildren,theyalsodonotwantthemtoloseatthestartingline.Thismeans,ifthekidsstarttolearnaforeignlanguageearly,theirparentsarerelievedfromthethoughtthattheirkidswillhavetocatchuplateron,whichistruetosomeextent.

Ontheotherhand,itisscientificallyprovedthatchildrentendtolearnalanguagefasterbeforetheageof12.AsfarasIknow,myfriendswhostartedtolearnEnglishwhentheyweresixorsevennowhaveamuchmoresatisfactoryEnglishlevelthanthosewhostartedat12or13.Soitiswisetohaveforeignlanguagecourseinprimaryschoolcurriculum.

Additionally,learningaforeignlanguageatanearlieragecanlaychildrenasolidfoundationforfuturestudying.Ratherthanjustlearningalanguageitself,childrenlearnalotmoreaboutthelearningmethods.Asaresult,whentheyentersecondaryschool,theycanexploremorelanguagesandenrichtheirknowledgebyextensivereadings.

Theonlydisadvantageoflearningaforeignlanguageatprimaryschoolmightbeonemorecourseandpressure.However,primaryschoolscanintroduceadvancedteachingmethodstotacklethisproblem,suchasplayinggamesandroleplay,andensurethatchildrencanenjoythelanguagelearningprocess.

Inconclusion,theadvantagesoflearningforeignlanguagesatprimaryschoolratherthansecondaryschooloutweighthedisadvantages.注釋?zhuān)篬c1]people和expert是有區(qū)別的，注意看題目指的是哪類(lèi)人

[c2]tilTotal:(6.5+6.5+7+7.5)/4=7分

（下面評(píng)分項(xiàng)里面的小分意在指出你的優(yōu)勢(shì)劣勢(shì)）

Taskresponse6.5分

1.addressallpartsofthetask7分

首先列舉的advantages，然后提出disadvantage，緊接著駁斥了這個(gè)disadvantage。這一步證明了你都懂題目不僅是要讓列舉利弊還要做出比較

2.presentaclearpositionthroughouttheresponse.7分主體贊成利大于弊，并在說(shuō)弊的時(shí)候有力的反駁了，最后一段明確提出自己的立場(chǎng)。

3.mainideasmaybeunclear6分

需要改進(jìn)的段落主體第一段你寫(xiě)的是家長(zhǎng)覺(jué)得孩子不能輸在起跑線，但是題目里面說(shuō)的是專(zhuān)家提出這個(gè)觀點(diǎn)，把家長(zhǎng)和專(zhuān)家混在一起，混淆了題目觀點(diǎn)的出發(fā)角度。這里要扣分。

需要保持的段落主體第二段用你朋友的經(jīng)歷做例子完全可以！只要支持你的論點(diǎn)就行主體第三段學(xué)習(xí)一門(mén)外語(yǔ)的方法可以應(yīng)用到其他語(yǔ)言學(xué)習(xí)上，確實(shí)！能看到不同語(yǔ)言的內(nèi)在聯(lián)系，很不錯(cuò)！主體第四段駁斥反方觀點(diǎn)并提出一些解決方法

4.conclusionsmaybecomerepetitive6分

不要在結(jié)論里面把題目照搬一遍

Coherenceandcohesion6.5分

1.logicallyorganizeinformationandideas7分

2.presentaclearcentraltopicineachparagragh7分我個(gè)人比較支持一個(gè)段一個(gè)點(diǎn)這樣能保持段落長(zhǎng)度一致同時(shí)表意清晰

3.mayusecohesivedevicesmechanically6分看下你的主體段落的開(kāi)頭，一下firstly一下ontheotherhand一下additionally這幾個(gè)連接詞屬于不同類(lèi)別建議使用同類(lèi)連詞，如果是firstly那后面就用secondlythirdly,如果是要用ontheotherhand,前面搭配使用ontheonehand。否則給讀者的印象是你學(xué)過(guò)連詞但是不太會(huì)用。

4.另外代詞的使用不錯(cuò)，this,it,they都能正確使用

Lexicalresources7分useawiderangeofvocabularyandallowsomeflexibilityandprecision

首段的對(duì)題目的paraphrase做的相當(dāng)不錯(cuò)！但是末尾段基本屬于照抄題目了，很可能不算在字?jǐn)?shù)里面。建議你學(xué)習(xí)一下結(jié)尾段的寫(xiě)法。

定冠詞和不定冠詞的使用很好

活用動(dòng)詞learnlearningteachteaching形容詞副詞能正確使用

2.uselesscommonvocabularywellpopularityfoundationcurriculumsatisfactoryextensive

3.useofcollocationLayasolidfoundation,languagelearningprocess,advancedteachingmethod,extensivereadings.

Grammar7.5分useawiderangeofstructures.

簡(jiǎn)單句即符合基本主謂賓結(jié)構(gòu)Thereareseveralreasonsforthis.

賓語(yǔ)從句第一段manypeoplearguethatxxx第三段itisscientificallyprovedthatxxx長(zhǎng)句第二段despiteofxxx,xxx/第四段ratherthanxxx,xxx第五段第二句話(huà)用and連接的兩個(gè)句子中間還有插入語(yǔ)suchasxxx時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句第三段myfriend