1、動作細節(jié)描寫,by Kevin Soy,讀后續(xù)寫專項訓(xùn)練 1,One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tom, had driven three hours to camp overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately, on the way an unpleasant subject came up and they started to quarrel. By the time they reached the lake, Jane was so angry that she said to

2、Tom. “Im going to find a better spot for us to camp” and walked away. With no path to follow, Jane just walked on for quite a long time. After she had climbed to a high place. she turned around, hoping to see the lake. To her surprise, she saw nothing but forest and, far beyond, a snowcapped mountai

3、n top. She suddenly realized that she was lost. “Tom!” she cried. Help! No reply. If only she had not left her mobile phone in that bag with Tom. Jane kept moving, but the farther she walked, the more confused she became. As night was beginning to fall, Jane was so tired that she had to stop for the

4、 night. Lying awake in the dark, Jane wanted very much to be with Tom and her family. She wanted to hold him and tell him how much she loved him. Jane rose at the break of day, hungry and thirsty. She could hear water trickling (滴落) somewhere at a distance. Quickly she followed the sound to a stream

5、. To her great joy,she also saw some berry bushes. She drank and ate a few berries. Never in her life had she tasted anything better. Feeling stronger now. Jane began to walk along the stream and hope it would lead her to the lake. As she picked her way carefully along the stream, Jane heard a helic

6、opter. Is that for me? Unfortunately, the trees made it impossible for people to see her from above. A few minutes later, another helicopter flew overhead. Jane took off her yellow blouse, thinking that she should go to an open area and flag them if they came back again. (2016.10浙江),小結(jié),動作細節(jié)的描寫應(yīng)該圍繞著一

7、個中心展開，否則會導(dǎo)致敘述散亂，內(nèi)容混雜； 動作細節(jié)的描寫應(yīng)該組織一系列的動詞，以動作的次第發(fā)生來敘述整個過程； 動作細節(jié)的描寫應(yīng)該有相應(yīng)信息的支撐，以豐富細節(jié)內(nèi)容，增強可讀性。,1. 上周日李華坐公交車去新華書店買書，過程卻不太順利。請設(shè)計一個情節(jié)，描述具體經(jīng)過，詞數(shù)80左右。 Last Sunday, Li Hua went to Xinhua Bookstore to buy a book. _ _,1. 上周日李華坐公交車去新華書店買書，過程卻不太順利。請設(shè)計一個情節(jié)，描述具體經(jīng)過，詞數(shù)80左右。,去書店的路上不順利,在書店買書不順利,出門公交車沒來發(fā)現(xiàn)公交車停開換車車子故障很晚到達書

8、店,喜歡的書只剩一本其他顧客拿到那本詢問售貨員售貨員又找到一本書本破損買到后發(fā)現(xiàn)對面商店有同款,Last Sunday, Li Hua went to Xinhua Bookstore to buy a book. After breakfast, he came to the bus stop near his home. As was scheduled, the bus should arrive in 5 minutes. However, he waited for about 10 minutes but no bus came. A few minutes later, he a

9、nd other passengers were told to get on another bus which went on a different route. Halfway, the bus broke down. As a result, he had to change the bus again. Finally, he got to the bookstore at the lunch time, almost two hours later than expected.,2. Jeff 是一位非常關(guān)心學(xué)生的老師，昨天午飯后班里同學(xué)Kate突然鼻子流血不止。請設(shè)計一個情節(jié)詳

10、細描述Jeff采取的行動重點體現(xiàn)他對學(xué)生的關(guān)愛。約80詞。 Yesterday Jeff was in the classroom talking to a student after lunch. _ _,2. Jeff 是一位非常關(guān)心學(xué)生的老師，昨天午飯后班里同學(xué)Kate突然鼻子流血不止。請設(shè)計一個情節(jié)詳細描述Jeff才去的行動重點體現(xiàn)他對學(xué)生的關(guān)愛。約80詞。,Jeff在教室里解決了問題,Jeff未能解決問題，因而求助醫(yī)生,體現(xiàn)出Jeff的急切和關(guān)愛。,Yesterday Jeff was in the classroom talking to a student after lunch

11、. Suddenly Kates nose started to bleed. Jeff rushed to Kate in no time. He told Kate to lean her head backwards. After that, he got some tissue from a student and tried to clean Kates mouth and cheeks. Finding her bleeding impossible to stop, Jeff phoned the doctor to ask what to do. The doctor advi

12、sed Kate to be sent to him as soon as possible. Immediately, Jeff went to the doctor with Kate. He stayed there with her until she was fine two hours later.,實戰(zhàn)演練,3. 王濤即將大學(xué)畢業(yè)，正在尋找工作，上周他參加了一次面試。請設(shè)計一個情節(jié)詳細描述他進入面試房間后的動作，突出當(dāng)時相對壓抑的氛圍。80詞左右 Hearing his name called, Wang Tao opened the door and stepped in. _

13、 _,Hearing his name called, Wang Tao opened the door and stepped in. He immediately felt stared at. Three judges, seated behind the desk, examined him from head to feet. Wang Tao checked his suit, finding nothing improper and then relaxed a bit. After he was allowed to take a seat, Wang Tao glanced at the judges and quickl