1、練習雙語：這5個簡單原則讓你迅速擺脫尬聊對有些人來說，和人聊天簡直是一種煎熬。他們對任何交流的機會都唯恐避之不及。一 旦碰到躲不過的場合，就開始坐立不安，拼命找話題卻又想不出來，或者好不容易接上一句， 結果接了還不如不接。而對于身邊的人來說，和這些“話題終結者聊天更是如同上刑一般。尬聊不僅會給對方帶來諸多苦惱，也限制了自己的社交能力。要解決這個問題，你必須 要清楚這一點：The key to being a better conversationalist is to be an attention-giver rather than an attention-getter. This mea

2、ns you begin to concentrate more on the person youre speaking with, and on gratifying their needs instead of your own.想成為侃侃而談的人，關鍵是給予關注而不是獲得關注。這意味著你要把更多的精力集 中在和你講話的人身上，滿足他們的需求而不是自己的需求。在此前提下，記住以下5個談話技巧，就能打破尷尬的沉默，掌握聊天的藝術。Use Peoples Names More多說對方的名字We are more likely to be in tune with others when th

3、ey say our name. Dale Carnegie, an author of public speaking and interpersonal skills books, previously said our names are ”the sweetest and most important sound to us. In conversation, you can use this to your advantage by asking for their name, and then dropping their name occasionally throughout

4、the conversation later on.當別人說出我們的名字時，我們會更可能和他們保持在一個頻道上。公共演講和人際關 系類書籍作者戴爾卡耐基曾說過，對人們而言，自己的名字是最甜美、最重要的聲音。 在交談中你可以充分利用這一點，先詢問對方的名字，然后在后面的談話中偶爾提到它。The ability to remember someones name has been linked to people being more likely to help you, more likely to buy from you, and is seen as a compliment. A st

5、udy in theJournal of Consumer Researchfound using peoples names is a complementary means of persuasion. When we hear our name, we automatically shift our attention to the speaker, which creates an illusion that we are important.記住別人名字的能力讓你更容易獲得幫助、更有可能售出商品，這種行為被視為一種贊 美。消費者研究期刊上的一項研究發(fā)現，使用人名是增強說服力的方法。當

6、我們聽到自 己的名字時，會自動把注意力轉移到說話者身上，產生一種我們很重要的幻覺。Encourage People To Talk About Themselves 鼓勵人們談論自己Talking about ourselves triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money. A study in PNAS found individuals place high subjective value on opportunities to communicate their thoughts and f

7、eelings to others. This engages neural and cognitive mechanisms linked with reward.,談論自己能像食物和金錢一樣讓我們的大腦產生一種愉悅感。美國國家科學院院刊 上的一篇研究發(fā)現，個體在交流思想情感時會帶入強烈的主觀價值。這里涉及到與獎賞有關 的神經和認知機制。Self-disclosure is so extreme people were willing to forgo money in order to talk about themselves, according to the researchers.

8、 An attention-giver will give their undivided attention to the individual, and allow them to focus the conversation on themselves to feel important.研究人員稱，自我表露是非常極端的，以至于為了談論自己，人們可以不去想金錢。一 名注意力給予者會全心全意地關注對方，并允許他們把談話焦點放在自己身上，使他們感到 自己很重要。Repeat The Last Three Words重復最后三個單詞Repetition is ideal when it com

9、es to good communication skills, especially repeating the last three words of a conversation; this is known as The Echo Effect. Simply repeating the last two or three words an individual said in a sympathetic, questioning tone will allow the conversation to go back to the person, and make them feel

10、more important. A study inJournal of Language and Social Psychologyfound mirroring peoples words can be a very important skill in building likability, rapport, and social cohesion.重復是完美的溝通訣竅，特別是重復一次談話中的最后三個字：這就是所謂的回聲效 應。用感同身受、帶著疑問的語氣簡單重復一個人說過的最后兩三個字，就會讓對話回到 對方身上，讓他們感覺自己更加重要。語言與社會心理學期刊上的一項研究發(fā)現，重復 別人的

11、話語是建立好感度、融洽氣氛以及社會凝聚力的重要技巧。Emphasize Similarities強調共性Naturally, we tend to bond with people who are like us. However, we seem to be unaware of this fact. A study inEvolutionary Psycho logy found when individuals were asked what they wanted in a partner; the majority said they would prefer a complemen

12、tary partner rather than a similar one. However; the individuals were more likely to choose a partner who they thought was very similar to them.我們天生傾向于和同類建立聯系。然而，我們似乎沒有意識到這點。進化心理學上 的一篇研究發(fā)現，當被問到想要什么樣的伴侶時，大多數人表示，他們更喜歡和自己互補的 伴侶，而不是和自己相似的。然而，人們更可能選擇自己眼中的同類作為伴侶。In reality, this shows were not influenced

13、by our friends after we meet them, we organically gravitate towards them because theyre just like us. With total strangers, we can use this to our advantage, and shift the conversation to topics youre both interested in. This gets them to talk about things they like, as youre being receptive about t

14、his similarity.事實上，這說明我們和朋友見面后不會受到他們的影響。我們自然而然地被他們吸引， 是因為他們和我們很像。和完全陌生的人接觸時，也可以利用這點，把談話引到你們都感興 趣的話題上。這樣對方就能夠談論他喜歡的事情，因為你對這種相似性很容易接受。Gossip Positively正面八卦Not all gossip is bad gossip, especially when it comes to compliments. A study in theJournal of Personality and Social Psychologyfound what you say

15、 about others colors how people see you. If you compliment people, youre likely to be seen positively; if you complain, youre likely to be associated with those negative traits you hate. When you gossip about others, listeners unconsciously associate you with those characteristics youre describing, eventually having those traits transferred* on to you.并非所有的八卦都是不好的閑話，尤其是贊美的話。人格與社會心理學雜志上的一 項研究發(fā)現，你對別人