1、表達(dá)二經(jīng)典精講（下）主講教師：八十中高級(jí)教師開篇語（一）情景作文-以內(nèi)容和語言定檔定分2011201020092008200720062005 夏2005 春2004 夏2004 春2003 夏2003 春老師受傷安排旅游植樹活動(dòng)春游競(jìng)選班長(zhǎng)稿件周記稿件稿件信個(gè)人簡(jiǎn)介信稿件圖表稿件稿件敘述敘述，開頭寫好敘述敘述敘述，開頭結(jié)尾寫好Jeff 中國(guó)生活安排的變化課余活動(dòng)過去現(xiàn)在生活變化樹的故事描述，開頭寫好敘述，開頭寫好描述，看法敘述，開頭寫好敘述，開頭寫好敘述，開頭結(jié)尾寫好學(xué)活動(dòng)題一：假設(shè)你是紅星中學(xué)高二(1)班的學(xué)生，下面四幅圖描述了近期發(fā)生在班的一個(gè)真實(shí)故事，請(qǐng)根據(jù)的先后順序，為?？坝⒄Z園地

2、”寫一篇短文，詞數(shù)不少于 60。1.2.3.4.老師滑倒學(xué)生送老師看病學(xué)生看望老師 老師回班上課情境作文一、審題要到位：兩個(gè)：近期 / 校刊二、評(píng)分原則：要點(diǎn)+細(xì)節(jié)+語言質(zhì)量一檔：18-20二檔：15-17三檔：12-14四檔：6-11五檔：1-50要點(diǎn)四個(gè)要點(diǎn)不可缺少，如缺少一個(gè)要點(diǎn)就直降到四檔。（611）老師滑倒/摔倒學(xué)生送老師看病學(xué)生看望老師 老師回班上課細(xì)節(jié)每個(gè)要點(diǎn)下面都要有至少一個(gè)細(xì)節(jié)的支撐。圖一：粉筆飛出；學(xué)生吃驚 / 擔(dān)心； 老師穿高跟鞋（不宜多說）圖二：的陪伴 / 背著老師 扶著老師/ 給老師把鞋脫掉圖三：鮮花和水果；聊天；右腳打繃帶圖四：老師坐輪椅；右腳打繃帶；幾點(diǎn)說明的反應(yīng)

3、（鼓掌歡迎）圖二：從clinic 到圖三 hospital 的地點(diǎn)轉(zhuǎn)換，不交代也認(rèn)可。圖四：只要表明老師返回班里甚至是學(xué)校就可以了。不強(qiáng)調(diào)回來上課也可以接受。對(duì)于細(xì)節(jié)的認(rèn)定較寬泛。學(xué)生的普遍問題要點(diǎn)幾乎都可以寫全，不會(huì)漏掉。但要點(diǎn)下面細(xì)節(jié)的支撐少。語言的質(zhì)量不高。學(xué)生擅長(zhǎng)抒發(fā)感情，但動(dòng)作描寫欠缺（在第四幅圖后，寫一堆的情感套話，如贊揚(yáng)老師或者師生和諧）開放作文-以內(nèi)容和語言定檔定分201120102009跨河摘蘋果樹與建筑文化差異describe and explain describe and explaindescribe and explain2008200720062005200520

4、0420042003describe and explain describe and explain describe and explain describe2-3 suggestions圓規(guī)與鉛筆大鳥 小鳥城市雕塑夏春夏春夏照鏡子 交通建議丟錢的可能性找路暑期計(jì)劃3-4sibilities2-3 different ways1 exles，fun立意明確，邏輯清晰(立意細(xì)節(jié)描述）語言達(dá)意請(qǐng)根據(jù)下面提示，寫一篇短文。詞數(shù)不少于 50。In your spoken English class, your teacher shows you the following picture. You

5、 areaskedtodescribe thcture and explain how you understand it.立意 1：勇于克服（小樹在不規(guī)則大樓中間頑強(qiáng)生長(zhǎng)）立意 2：成功來自于不懈的努力（小樹努力克服各種，最終獲取了陽(yáng)光）立意 3：多給孩子成長(zhǎng)的空間（樓房的不規(guī)則造成了小樹的）題二：請(qǐng)根據(jù)下面提示，寫一篇短文。詞數(shù)不少于 50。In your spoken English class, your teacher shows you the following picture. You areaskedtodescribe thcture and explain how you

6、 understand it.立意 1：要學(xué)會(huì)選擇（隔著河摘蘋果很累，旁邊有橋，應(yīng)學(xué)會(huì)選擇）立意 2：創(chuàng)新，嘗試新方法 （有橋不走，嘗試隔河摘蘋果，更省事）立意 3：不要開放作文描圖+釋圖評(píng)分原則：是否扣題/切題內(nèi)容是否充實(shí)一檔：13-15 二檔：9-12三檔：4-8四檔：1-30是否扣題（隔著河摘蘋果很，做事要穩(wěn)妥）邏輯是否清晰語言是否準(zhǔn)確描述要源自畫面中，是基于畫進(jìn)行的描述, 對(duì)于圖畫的理解和對(duì)于畫面的不刻意強(qiáng)調(diào)哪個(gè)立意對(duì)，哪個(gè)立意不對(duì)，最重要的是能自圓其說。沒有特別的規(guī)定。學(xué)生們的懶惰；：頭腦靈活，富于創(chuàng)新；不要；要富于精神，增加性；學(xué)會(huì)選擇；不要走捷徑邏輯是否清晰后面的釋圖是從前面的描

7、圖引申出來的。描述為議論打基礎(chǔ)（埋下伏筆：Whats in the picture?Whats going onhcture? 與下文闡述產(chǎn)生關(guān)聯(lián)性），議論的基礎(chǔ)是描述的內(nèi)容，否則議論就是無源之水。關(guān)注謀篇布局的整體把握，形成語篇的連貫性。描述和闡述是一個(gè)有機(jī)的整體。The boy wants to save time and energy, but actually he wastes time. He makes a stuchoice. So when we do something, we should think it over and dont be lazy and do wel

8、l preparation.內(nèi)容是否充實(shí)論述部分要看闡述時(shí)是否能圍繞中心展開，不是簡(jiǎn)單的句式變換或表層的思維，更不要停留在一句話上說來說去。When we find a proper method, we will succeed. Without a proper method, we will fail. Only when we find a proper method, can we succeed.語言是否準(zhǔn)確(句子多樣性）, 看注意詞匯的選取，適當(dāng)用簡(jiǎn)單句直接闡述中心，滿足和邏輯的雙重句與句之間能否形成意思。In our life, we should work hard. Fac

9、ed with difficulties, we should find a proper way to solve the problem. It is important for us to think twice before we take action.學(xué)生的普遍問題套話過多，影響寫作質(zhì)量（不能投機(jī)）邏輯不清晰：逐層深入內(nèi)容不充實(shí)語言確名師寄語表達(dá)二經(jīng)典精講（下）講義參考題一：范文Last Monday, we were having our Chiclass when the teacher suddenly slipped and fell. We were all worrie

10、d abouther. One of the boys carried her on the back, with the help of some others, to the clinic immedia y. It turned outt herright leg was broken and she had to stayhe hospital. The following day, we went to visit her with flowers and fruit. Seeingher lying in bed with her leg wrapped in bandages,

11、we felt sorry for her and hopedt she would recover soon. ThisThursday she returned to the class on a wheelchair to give us lessons. We were all deeply moved and proud of having such a responsible teacher.（119）學(xué)生作文Last Friday, an accidend happened suddenly in our class. While we were having our Engli

12、sh class attentively, ourteacher missed a step and fell to the ground. One of my classmates shouted “Watch the step!” but its too late. Without anydelay, our monitor and two other students carried her to the school clinic. To our great re f, the problem wasnt serious. Since we were all loved our tea

13、cher, all of my classmates went to see our teacher after class with some beautiful flowers. Wechatted happily and we all hopedt our teacher will soon be. After a fewkshe hospital, our teacher finallycame back in a wheelchair. We clapped our hands and gave her a warm happiness. What a united class we

14、 are! (141)學(xué)生作文e. Seeing the teacher, we all had a sense ofWe be vemy class.he philosophyt offering others help makes ourselves satisfied and here is whappened recently inWhen our teacher was giving a class, she suddenly lost her balance by the edge, fell down and hurt her legs. Everyonewas astonish

15、ed att time. However, we quickly calmed ourselves down, and swiftly carried her to the clinic. On the way,we asked anxiously whether it hurt a lot and told her not to worry.Having been diagnosed as a severe bone hurt, she had to stay in hospital forks. In order to ease her feeling of loneliness,aid

16、a visit to her. Several days later, there we sent her flowers, wishing her a quick recovery, some held her hands and delivered our care for her, while others promised to study hard. We chatted happily, and I saw her tears of satisfaction and pleasure.Yesterday was the big dayour teacher returned “ho

17、me” from the hospital. Seeing her smiling face, we clapped ourhands as a warmexpressing here. She, though sitting in a wheelchair, showed her pleasant slike an angel, as if she wasnks. Again I saw tears shining in her eyes, they were the symbols of happiness rathern tiredness.This was just a simple

18、thing in our school life, but something meaningful. Our teachers never fail to offer us theirmeticulous(翼翼的；一絲不茍的) care, so when they need help, its our duty as well as honor to lend a helhand. Inthis way, we can create a harmonious teacher-student relationship! （261）題二：范文：hcture, there stands a tre

19、e full of fruit on one side of the stream. Across the stream, a man is trying to reach outon the edge of the bfor more fruit.for the fruit winetached to a pole. Not far away there is a bridget can lead him to the treeThe message conveyedhcture is clear. In pursuing a dream, we might focus on onlyay

20、of making it cometrue, fettingt there may be alternatives(可供選擇的事物). As indicatedhcture, if the man is willing to look forothossibilities, he can find a better and more rewarding way to achieve his goal. All he has tos to turn around, crossthe bridge and walk to the tree.（140）學(xué)生作文hcture, there is a v

21、alley betn the two steep mountains.he valley, there is a river beating the mountainfiercely. On the mountains a tree with lots of apples. On the other side stands a man, trying to reach the apples wiknottied to a long stick above the valley. Although he tries hard, he cant get one appvalley, which l

22、eads to the apple tree.ecause he doesnt find a bridge across theI think what this picture wants to convey to us ist we should find the most efficient and easiest way to tackle theproblems. The manis in.hcture takes great pain in vain because he doesnt think of all thesible ways or the situation heIn

23、 our daily life, we may meet all kinds of problems and we should know among the numerous ways there is always asolutiont is most efficient and easiest. As long as we find it, solving the problem wille a piece of cake.Confronted(面對(duì)) with challenges, we are required to use our brain to think thoroughl

24、y before taking action rathernconduct(實(shí)施，處理) theidea appearing in our mind, whiay end up to be the most difficult solution.Choosing the most efficient solution can prevent us from energy. （232）學(xué)生作文ng in vain, which can also save our valuable time andAs is vividly shownhcture, the man is sparing no effort to reach for the fruits on the tree across the river wilong net, neglecting a bridge nearby. Hard as he is trying, all his effort seems in vain.According to my understanding, what thctureend to mirror(反射；) to us is the significance of f