46條熒光筆金句來(lái)自兒童心理學(xué)奠基之作《孩子：挑戰(zhàn)》33均為他們?cè)陂喿x兒童心理學(xué)奠基之作《孩子：挑戰(zhàn)》時(shí)叩動(dòng)他們內(nèi)心的金句子。這也是該書的核心精華所在。大家學(xué)教育的同時(shí)，學(xué)學(xué)英文（我就是這樣學(xué)的?，F(xiàn)與各位書友分享，請(qǐng)記得分享你的熒光金句。1Equalitymeansthateachdecidesforhimself.為自己做決定的權(quán)利。Inorderforeveryonetohavefreedom,wemusthaveorder.Andorderbearswithitcertainrestrictionsandobligations.為了讓每個(gè)人都能夠擁有和享受自由，我們需要規(guī)則，規(guī)則會(huì)產(chǎn)生限制和責(zé)任。Well-definedrestrictionsgiveasenseofsecurityandcertaintyoffunctionwithinthesocialstructure.構(gòu)中的位置和職責(zé)。Thepopularpracticeoflettingchildrenhaveunrestrictedfreedomhasmadetyrant3ofchildrenandslavesoftheparents.Thesechildrenenjoyallthefreedomwhiletheirparentsassumealltheresponsibilities!Thisishardlydemocracy.個(gè)普遍現(xiàn)象，是家長(zhǎng)給予孩子無(wú)限自由，結(jié)果孩子成了“小而家長(zhǎng)則承擔(dān)所有的責(zé)任和義務(wù)，著根本不是民主。Amisbehavingchildisadiscouragedchild.Eachchildneedscontinuousencouragementjustasaplantneedswater.一植物需要水。Ababywhoishappyonlywhensheisthecenterofattentionisnotatrulyhappybaby.Genuinehappinessisnotdependentupontheattentionofothersbutarisesfromwithinoneselfasaresultofself-sufficiency.一個(gè)只有得到別人關(guān)注才快樂的人，不是真正快樂的人。真正的快樂不需要建立在他人的關(guān)注上，而是發(fā)自內(nèi)心，感受到內(nèi)在的滿足。Childrenneedtolearnhowtotakepainintheirstride.Abruisedkneewillmend:bruisedcouragemaylastalifetime.生生留下傷疤。Wecanbuildonlyonstrength,notonweakness.將注意力放在長(zhǎng)處而不是短處上面。Wearenotworkingforperfection,butonlyimprovement.我們要的是進(jìn)步，而不是完美。Remember,onecannotbuildonweakness-onlyonstrength.沒有人能在脆弱中成長(zhǎng)，成長(zhǎng)需要力量和堅(jiān)強(qiáng)。Heis anindividualandmakeshisownchoicesanddecisions.Wecannottakeresponsibilityforthis;itbelongstochild.孩子是一個(gè)獨(dú)立的個(gè)體，可以為自己做選擇，做決定。我們不能擔(dān)負(fù)為孩子做決定的責(zé)任，這個(gè)責(zé)任和權(quán)利是孩子的。Noamountofpunishmentwillbringaboutlastingsubmission.childrenarewillingtotakeanyamountofpunishmentinordertoasserttheir“rights”沒有哪種懲罰能的權(quán)力。Wedonothavetherighttoassumetheresponsibilitiesofourchildren,nordowehavetherighttotaketheconsequenceoftheiracts.Thesebelongtothem.我們沒有權(quán)利替孩子擔(dān)負(fù)責(zé)任，也沒有權(quán)利替他們收拾殘局，因?yàn)檫@些都是他們自己的事。 14 Wemustrepeatedlyremindourselves,“Ihavenorighttopunishapersonwithstatusequaltomine,butIdohavetheobligationtoguideanddirectmychild. Idonothavetherighttoimposemywill-butIdohavetheobligationnottogiveintohisunduedemands.我們需要經(jīng)常提醒自己“我沒有權(quán)利懲罰一個(gè)和我享有同等地位人，我有責(zé)任引導(dǎo)我的孩子。我沒有權(quán)利強(qiáng)迫他人接受我的意愿，我有義務(wù)不對(duì)他人的過分要求妥協(xié)” 15Childrencanlearnlimitationsonlythroughfirminsistence.只有穩(wěn)固的堅(jiān)持才能讓孩子學(xué)會(huì)正確的界限。Suchactsofpressuremustalwaysbeaccompaniedbygivingthechildachoice.孩子選擇的機(jī)會(huì)和權(quán)利。Iftherelationshipbetweenparentsandchildisatallfriendly,thechildislikelytoresponse.如果父母和孩子的關(guān)系友好，孩子會(huì)更加樂意響應(yīng)。 18 Onlywhenwehaveconfidenceinachildandhisability，canweshowrespectforhim.只有當(dāng)我們信任孩子，信任他的能力時(shí)，才能真正表出對(duì)他的尊重。Weareconstantlycorrecting,constantlySuchanapproachshowslackoffaithinourchildren;itishumiliatinganddiscouraging.Withallthisemphasisonthenegative,wherecanweexpectthechildtofindtheenergytoproceedtowardachievement?我們不停地指出孩子的錯(cuò)誤，不停告誡他們……這樣的方式事實(shí)上是在表現(xiàn)出我們對(duì)孩子的方向和力量源泉？Whenconstantlycorrected,thechildnotonlygetsthefeelingthatheisalwayswrongbutmaybecomefearfulofmakingamistake.子覺得他經(jīng)常出錯(cuò)，而且還讓孩子變得害怕出錯(cuò)。Childrenneedtoberecognizedasgoodchildrenwhomisbehavebecausetheyareunhappyorhavefoundthatispaysoff.良是因?yàn)樗麄儾豢鞓?，或者發(fā)現(xiàn)不良行為有好處。22Routineistoachildwhatwallsaretoahouse;itgivesboundariesanddimensionstohislife.Nochildfeelscomfortableinasituationinwhichhedoesn’tknowexactlywhattoexpect.Routinegivesafeelingofsecurity.Anestablishedroutinealsoprovidesasenseoforderfromwhichfreedom限和范圍。沒有哪個(gè)孩子能在無(wú)法預(yù)知和期待的生活中過得晰感，繼而產(chǎn)生真正的自由。Anyonebecomesunreasonablewhenhefeelsimposedupon.Wecannotwinco-operationbytryingtoimposeourwilluponsomeoneelse.們的想法強(qiáng)加給別人，是無(wú)法贏得合作的。Childrendon’tliketobecaughtintheact.Don’tbesurprisedifthechildshowsmarkedinnocence,resentmentorevenredoubledeffortstoregainattention.Aboutthistime,departurefromtheareaissmart.孩子不喜歡自己的把戲被識(shí)破，所以他可能表現(xiàn)出無(wú)辜、生氣、憤怒，或者用變本加厲的方式想要得到更多關(guān)注，這時(shí)父母不用驚訝，可以平靜地暫時(shí)離開現(xiàn)場(chǎng)。Thedisturbanceistheresultofaconflictbetweenpeople.Ifonepersonwithdrawstheothercannotcontinue.戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)是兩個(gè)人沖突的結(jié)果。如果其中一方退出戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)，另一方就無(wú)法繼續(xù)。Thefactthatweevenask,”howmanytimes?”indicatesthat“telling”hasnotservedthepurposeofinstruction.Childrenlearnveryquickly.One“telling”usuallywillindicatetothechildthatagivenactionhasmetdisapproval.Fromthistimeforwardheknowshiscontinuedbehaviorinthisdirectionisoutofline.Ifmotherreallywantstochangethebehaviorofherchilden,shewillhavetoact.Wordsare變孩子的行為，她需要行動(dòng)，而是不是語(yǔ)言。Itissheernonsensetoassumethatthechildwillbeabletomeetfrustrationswhenheisolder.Whatmagicingrowingoldercouldprovideaskillthatshouldbedevelopedinearlylife?覺得自己有義務(wù)讓孩子高興，這是個(gè)錯(cuò)誤，這樣容易造成家長(zhǎng)卑微的心態(tài)，容易造成孩子以自我為中心。Childrenneedtolearnhowtomanagefrustrations.Adultlifeisfullofthem.人的世界里有很多挫折。Wemustlearntobeconcernedwiththedemandsofthesituationandtobeunconcernedwith“whatpeoplethink.”HereMothermustmakeachoicebetweenhervanity,whichishurt,andherobligationasmother.我們應(yīng)該學(xué)會(huì)關(guān)注客觀而不是關(guān)注別人怎么想。這個(gè)時(shí)候，媽媽需要在面子（受損了）和“媽媽的義務(wù)”之間做出正確的選擇。Weneednotbearbitraryinrefusingtogiveachildwhathewants.Butwheneverthechild’sdesireorrequestiscontrarytoordertortothedemandsofsituation,thenwemusthavethecouragetosticktothe“no”thatexpressesourownbestjudgment.當(dāng)孩子的欲望、要求和規(guī)則相抵觸，或者不符合情勢(shì)，我們必須有判斷能力，以及有說“不”的勇氣Weuseourheads!Insteadofbeingafrontbehindwhichthechildbasksininnocence,webecomeasieve,whichfilterslifeexperienceinamountswhichthechildcanmeet.我們要運(yùn)用自己的智慧，不應(yīng)該只是一味地保護(hù)孩子，而是讓自己成為“過濾器”,過濾出孩子可以面對(duì)、應(yīng)付的情況然后有意識(shí)地退后,讓孩子去經(jīng)歷、去成長(zhǎng)。33 Mothermovesback,awayfromthebaby,andholdsoutherhands-justbeyondhisreach.媽媽退后一步，和孩子保持一段距離，伸出手——在孩子差一點(diǎn)能夠到的地方。34 Painispartoflife.Thereisnowaytoescapeitsexistence.疼痛是生活的一部分沒有人可以逃避疼痛。35 Mothercouldhavepreventedthisbitterdisappointmentfromthebeginninghasshenotexpectedit.媽媽可以在開始制定計(jì)劃時(shí)，就預(yù)防孩子有可能出現(xiàn)的失望。If wewanttoteachchildrenhowtochoosewisely,wemustgivethemopportunitiestochooseand,ifnecessary,tomakemistakes.我們必須給孩子選擇的機(jī)會(huì)，甚至是犯錯(cuò)的機(jī)會(huì)。Theylearnthroughexperience,nofromourexperience.孩子是從經(jīng)驗(yàn)中學(xué)習(xí)，但不是我們的經(jīng)驗(yàn)。Itiscommonknowledgethatmembersofapeerhaveacodewhichabhors“squealing.”沒有人喜歡群體中的告密者，這樣的人在哪里都會(huì)受到憎恨。Ifwespeaktoourchildrenasfriendsonequalfootingwithus,wekeepthedoorsofcommunicationopen.當(dāng)我們和孩子說話的語(yǔ)氣與和朋友說話的語(yǔ)氣一樣時(shí)，我們和孩子的溝通之門就敞開了！Ourbestrefugeistohaveconfidenceinourchildrenandsotakeiteasyuntilsuchtimeasourtalentsforcopingwithdisasterarereallycalledupon.最后的預(yù)防和讓對(duì)方都安心的方法，是放松一些，對(duì)自己的孩子真正有信心。Buttheir