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主題10.緊急事件的應(yīng)對策略

素材積累

一、主題解析

本專題”緊急事件的應(yīng)對策略”是高考讀后續(xù)寫的高頻主題,涵蓋意外傷害(如摔傷、溺水)、自然災(zāi)

害(如地震、火災(zāi))、突發(fā)困境(如迷路、被困)等場景。這類文本核心考查“危機(jī)感知一理性決策一行

動執(zhí)行一結(jié)果反饋”的邏輯鏈條,以及人物在高壓下的心態(tài)變化與應(yīng)對智慧。

從寫作要求看,需把握三個(gè)關(guān)鍵:一是情節(jié)連貫性,應(yīng)對行為需貼合前文鋪墊的人物身份與場景條件,

如野外受傷應(yīng)優(yōu)先關(guān)聯(lián)"急救包'"信號求助"等細(xì)節(jié):二是細(xì)節(jié)真實(shí)性,通過精準(zhǔn)動作(如“按壓止血"固

定肢體”)與心態(tài)描寫(如,?心跳加速”“強(qiáng)作鎮(zhèn)定”)增強(qiáng)畫面感;三是主題正向性,突出冷靜、協(xié)作、應(yīng)變

能力等核心品質(zhì),契合高考價(jià)值觀導(dǎo)向。熟練掌握此類主題,口:有效應(yīng)對約30%的讀后續(xù)寫真題場景。

二、詞句儲備

1.基本詞匯及短語

emergency突發(fā)事件victim受害者

first-aidkit急救箱trap被困

bandage繃帶collapse倒塌;暈倒

wound傷口earthquake地震

bleed流血flood洪水

stopthebleeding止血fire火災(zāi)

sprain扭傷choke噎住

fracture骨折breath呼吸

abrasion擦傷difficultyinbreathing呼吸困難

disinfect消毒panic恐慌

painkiller止痛藥calm冷靜的

ambulance救護(hù)車alert警覺的

firefighter消防員grab抓生

rescue營救drag拖現(xiàn)

rush迅速運(yùn)送regainconsc沁usness恢復(fù)意識

callforhelp呼救shock休克

emergencyexit緊急出口pulse脈搏

safetydrill安全演習(xí)stretcher擔(dān)架

shelter避難所evacuate疏散

medicalassistance醫(yī)療援助survive幸存

2.高分詞匯及短語

stabilize(使)穩(wěn)定;固定

【例句】Beforethedoctorarrived,hestabilizedtheinjuredarmwithasticktoavoidfurtherharm.(醫(yī)生到來

前,他用樹枝固定受傷的手臂以防二次傷害。)

acrid刺鼻的

【例句】Shesmelledanacridburningodorandrealizedthekitchenwasonfire.(她聞到刺鼻的焦味,意識

到廚房著火了。)

seclude偏僻的;隱蔽的

【例句】Theyfinallyfoundthelostchildonasecludedbenchinthepark.(他們最終在公園一張偏僻的長

椅上找到了走失的孩子。)

desperation絕望

【例句】Indesperation,hewavedhisjackettosignalthepassinghelicopter.(絕空中,他揮舞夾克向路過的

直升機(jī)發(fā)信號。)

promptly立即;迅速地

[例句]Theteacherpromptlyorganizedstudentstoevacuatewhen(healarmrang.(警報(bào)響起時(shí),老師立即

組織學(xué)生疏散。)

alleviate緩解;減輕

【例句】Thepainkillerhelpedalleviatetheboy'sdiscomfortaftertheaccident.(止痛藥相助緩解了男孩事

故后的不適。)

vigorous有力的

【例句】Hegavevigorouspressesonthevictim'schesttodoCPR.(他用力按壓受害者胸部進(jìn)行心肺復(fù)蘇。)

disoriented迷失方向的

[例句]Aftertheearthquake,theoldmanfeltdisorientedandcouldn'tfindtheexit.(地震后,老人感到迷

失方向,找不到出口。)

crucial至關(guān)重要的

[例句]It'scmcialtostaycalmwhenfacingemergencysituations.(面對緊急情況時(shí)保持冷靜至關(guān)重要。)

maneuver設(shè)法移動;操控

[例句]Shemaneuveredthroughthecrowdtocallanambulancefortheinjured.(她擠過人群為傷者叫救護(hù)

車。)

succor援助;救助

【例句】Thehikerwaitedforsuccoraftergettingstuckinthesnowslorm.(徒步者在暴風(fēng)雪中被困后等待救

援。)

taut緊繃的

【例句】Hisfacewastautwithanxietyashewaitedfortherescueteam.(等待救援隊(duì)時(shí),他的臉因焦慮而

緊繃。)

administer實(shí)施;給予

【例句】Thenurseadministeredfirstaidtothepatientbeforehospilalizalion.(護(hù)士在患者住院前實(shí)施了急

救。)

imminent即將發(fā)生的

【例句JTheysensedtheimminentdangerandrantothesafezone.(他們察覺到即將到來的危險(xiǎn),跑向安

全區(qū)。)

retrieve取回:找回

【例句】Heriskedhislifetoretrievethetrappeddogfromtheflood.(他冒著生命危險(xiǎn)從洪水中救出被困的

狗。)

trembling顫抖的

[例句]Withtremblinghands,sheappliedthebandagetothewound.(她用顫抖的手給傷口纏上繃帶。)

expedite加速;促進(jìn)

【例句】Thcpoliceexpeditedtherescueprocessafterreceivingthecall.(警方接到電話后加快了救援進(jìn)程?!?/p>

peril危險(xiǎn);險(xiǎn)境

【例句】Thegroupmanagedtoescapefrom(heperilofthelandslide.(這群人成功逃離了山體滑坡的險(xiǎn)境。)

soothe安撫;緩解

【例句】Shespokesoftlytosoothethescaredchild.(她輕聲說話安撫受驚的孩子。)

pivotal關(guān)鍵的;核心的

【例句】Hisquickdecisionplayedapivotalroleinthesuccessfulrescue.(他的快速決策在成功救援中起到

了關(guān)鍵作用。)

3.高分句式

Sbcouldfeelone'sheartpoundingwildlyinone'schest.(某人感到心在胸中怦怦直跳。)

One'sheartthumpedwildlywhenseeingtheemergency.(看到緊急情況時(shí),某人心怦怦直跳。)

Themomentsheheardthescream,sherushedoutoftheroom.(一聽到尖叫聲,她就沖出了房間T

Nosoonerhad(heearthquakestruck(hantheyrantotheopenarea.(地震一發(fā)生,他們就跑到了空曠地帶。)

Hardlyhadherealizedthedangerwhenhegrabbedthefirst-aidkit.(他剛意識到危險(xiǎn),就抓起了急救箱。)

Withoutasecondthought,hejumpedintothewatertosavethedrowningboy.(他不假思索地跳進(jìn)水里救溺水的

男孩。)

Withouthesitation,shecalledtheemergencynumber120.(她亳不猶豫地?fù)艽蛄思本入娫?20。)

Withoutdelay,theycarriedtheinjuredtothenearesthospital.(他們立即把傷者抬到了最近的醫(yī)院.)

Sbcouldhardlywaittoopenthefirst-aidkittohelpthevictim.(某人迫不及待地打一開急救箱幫助受害者。)

One'seyesmistedwithtearswhenseeingiherescueteamarrive.(看至U救援隊(duì)至ij來,某人淚眼模糊。)

Tearsrolleddownhercheeksasshetalkedabouttheterribleexperience.(談起那次可怕的經(jīng)歷,汨水從她臉頰

流下。)

Shewasclosetotearswhenrealizingherfriendwastrapped.(意識到朋友被困,她幾乎要哭了。)

Sbdidsth,wonderingwhattodonextinthechaos.(在混亂中,某人做了某事,不知道接下來該怎么辦。)

Pretendingtobecalm,heshoutedatthetopofhisvoiceforhelp.(他假裝鎮(zhèn)定,聲嘶力竭地呼救。)

Timetickedawayslowly,andhefelldeathwasdrawingnear.(時(shí)間緩緩流逝,他感到死亡正在逼近。)

With(hehelpofpassers-by,theymanagedtopull(hecaroutoftheditch.(在路人的幫助下,他們成功把車從溝

里拉了出來。)

Everyminutecountswhendealingwithableedingwound.(處理流111傷口時(shí),分秒必爭。)

Helaidthevictimonhisbackandbegantodoartificialrespiration.(他讓受害者仰躺著,開始做人工呼吸。)

Applyingfirmpressuretothewoundcaneffectivelystopbleeding.(用力按壓傷口能七f效止血。)

Theycarriedafirst-aidkitwhileh汰ingincaseofemergencies.(他們徒步時(shí)隨身攜帶急救包,以防突發(fā)情況。)

Afterreachingasafespot,shefinallybreathedasighofrelief.(到達(dá)安全地帶后,她終于松了一口氣。)

Hecheckedhimselfcarefullytomakesurehewasn'tinjuredintheaccident.(他仔細(xì)檢查自己,確保在事故中沒

有受傷。)

Heranxietystartedtofadewhensheheardthehelicopter'ssound.(聽到直升機(jī)的聲而她的焦慮開始消散。)

Itwascrucialthattheystayedtogethertoavoidgettinglostfuriher.(他們待在,起以防進(jìn)?步迷路,這至關(guān)重要。)

Hepainstakinglytooktinybreathstostayconsciousinthesmoke.(在煙霧中,他費(fèi)力地做著淺呼吸以保持清醒。)

Thechildrenweresoscaredthattheirfacesturnedpaleandtheycriedforhelp.(孩子們嚇得臉都白了,哭喊著救

命。)

Sheshookthesnowoffherhandsandtriedtofreehertrappedleg.(她抖掉手上的雪,努力掙脫被困的腿。)

Callingforanambulanceisthefirststepwhensomeonecollapsessuddenly.(有人突然暈倒時(shí),叫救護(hù)車是第一

步。)

Thefirehadengulfedthekitchenbeforetheynoticedthedanger.(在他們察覺到危險(xiǎn)前,大火已經(jīng)吞噬了廚房。)

Withtremblinghands,sheappliedthedisinfectanttotheabrasiongently.(她用顫抖的手輕輕地把消毒液涂在擦

傷處。)

三、寫作策略

【策略解析】

主題類型段落主體典型詞句寫作要求寫作策略

意外傷害救援1.發(fā)現(xiàn)險(xiǎn)情(感disinfectthewound,1.急救動作符合1.用“withoutdelay”

知信號+初步stabilizetheinjury,call常識2.體現(xiàn)等短語強(qiáng)化節(jié)奏2.通

判斷)2.實(shí)施救fbranambulance,apply“分秒必爭”的過“iremblinghands”

助(動作鏈:我abandage緊迫感3.穿插等細(xì)節(jié)增強(qiáng)真實(shí)感3.

工具一急救操人物心態(tài)變化按“判斷?行動-

作)3.后續(xù)處理結(jié)果邏輯推進(jìn)

(送醫(yī)/等待救

援)

自然災(zāi)害逃生1.察覺危機(jī)(感acridburningodor,1.逃生行為符合1.用“themoment...**

官描寫+確認(rèn)evacuateimmediately,災(zāi)害應(yīng)對規(guī)范2.句式銜接險(xiǎn)情與行動

災(zāi)害)2.緊急避emergencyexit,shelter情節(jié)貼合場景2.借助"panic/calm”

險(xiǎn)(逃生路徑+inplace(如地震躲桌等詞對比心態(tài)3.加入

防護(hù)動作)3.安底)3.突出冷靜“grabwatcr/kif'等實(shí)

全確認(rèn)(清點(diǎn)人協(xié)作用細(xì)節(jié)

員+求助)

野外被困脫困1.困境確認(rèn)(迷disoriented,send1.自救方法合理1.用“timeticked

失/受困+資signals,succor,可行2.體現(xiàn)away”營造緊張感2.

源盤點(diǎn))2.自救secludedarea,regain“絕望?堅(jiān)持-通過“wave

嘗試(發(fā)信號+consciousness希望”的情緒變jackct/shout^^等動作

尋找出路)3.救化3.與前文環(huán)鏈展現(xiàn)努力3.以

援銜接(發(fā)現(xiàn)救境呼應(yīng)“tearsmistcd^^等句表

援+狀態(tài)描述)現(xiàn)獲救情緒

【策略應(yīng)用】

[寫作試題]

(重慶市第一中學(xué)校2025-2026學(xué)年高三9月月考英語試題)閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)

寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

TheCanyon(峽谷)Escape

Thesummersunburnedlikeanovenovertherockycanyon.Seventeen-year-oldEthanwipedsweatfromhis

dustyforehead,lookingatthetrailaheadwithnarrowedeyes.HisyoungerbrotherLiam,fifteenandskinny,

adjustedhiscamerabeltexcitedly."Thewaterfallphotoswillwinfirstprize“hedeclared.Ethanchuckled,kicking

aloosestone."Onlyifwcsun'ivethehikc.^^

They'dbeenwalkingforhours.Birdschirpedin(hedistance,buttheairfeltheavy.Suddenly,theground

trembled.EthanGoze."Earthquake?”Liamwhispered,grippinghiscamera.Adeeplowboomanswered—not

fromtheearth,butthesky.Darkcloudsswallowedthesun.

“Run!”EthangrabbedLiam'sarm.Mudpoureddownthecanyonwalls,chokingthepath.Theyspedtoward

acrackinthecliffyslippingonwetrocks.Liam*sshoegotstuck.**Lcaveit!”Ethanshouted,dragginghimintothe

narrowgapjustasawaveofdebrisflow(泥石流)roaredpast.

Insidethecrack,rainhissedagainststone.Liamshivered,pointingtoarustymetaldoorhalf-buriedindirt.

“Look—anoldmine!”Theypried(撬動)itopen,carefullywalkingintodarkness.Theairsmelledofwetmetal

androt.Ethan'sphoneflashlightflickered,revealingalowtunnelsupportedbyrottingbeams(橫梁).

Theycrawledforward,someoftheceilingevenrubbingtheirbacks.Liam'scamerabaghookedon

nails."Cutitloose!MEthanordered.Liamhesitated,butthenhedidashisbrotheraskedanywaywithapocketknife.

Thelightofthephonewavered—thebatteiywasdying.Panicbegantosetin.

ThenLiampointed.44Light—upahead!”Afaintlightoutlinedapileoffallenrocksblockingtheirpath.

Theyscrambledtowardit,heartspounding.Butastheydrewcloser,theyrealizedtheopeningwastoosmall.They

weretrapped.

Ethanshonethedyingflashlightarounddesperately.Hiseyesfellonabrokentimber(木料)lyingnearby

注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右;

2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Ethan'sfingersclosedaroundtherough,dampwoodofthebrekentimber.

Liamsatupslowlyunderaclearingsky,bmshingmudfromhisshoulders.

[范文實(shí)踐]

【參考范文】

Ethan'sfingersclosedaroundtherough,dampwoodofthebrokentimber.Hejammedoneendintoagap

betweentherocks,gruntingashepushed.uIIclpmeleverthis!^^heyelledtoLiam.Together,theyheaveduntila

smallcrackwidened.Ethansqueezedthroughfirst,thenpulledLiamoutbythearm.Thephonedied,dutsunlight

guidedthem-ihey'dreachedthecanyonedge!Mudstilloozednearby,sotheystumbledupadryslope,gasping

forair.

Liamsatupslowlyunderaclearingsky,brushingmudfromhisshoulders.Hecheckedhispocket—his

cameramemorycard,savedbeforecuttingthebag,wassafe.uWemadeitJhesmiledweakly.Ethanclappedhis

shoulder,staringatthedistantwaterfallnowglintinginthesun.**Ncxttime,let'spickasaferhike/*Ethanjoked.

Liamlaughed,alreadyplanningtoeditthedisaster-turned-adventurephotos.Thecanyon'sroarfadedbehindthem,

replacedbytheirrelievedbreaths.

【寫作解析】

本文以Ethan和Liam的峽谷徒步歷險(xiǎn)為線索,講述兄弟二人遭遇泥石流后躲進(jìn)廢棄礦井,被困于落石后,

憑借智慧與合作利用斷木撬開通道逃生,最終安全脫險(xiǎn)并保住珍貴相機(jī)存儲卡的故事,展現(xiàn)了困境中的勇

氣與兄弟情誼。

1.段落續(xù)寫:

①由第一段首句內(nèi)容“Elhan的手指攥住了那根粗糙潮濕的斷木”可知,第一段可圍繞“利用斷木逃牛”展開:

描寫Elhan與Liam合作撬動落石的動作(塞木、發(fā)力、擴(kuò)大縫隙),突出二人的默契與堅(jiān)持;再寫成功脫

困后的場景(手機(jī)沒電、借陽光辨路、逃離危險(xiǎn)區(qū)域),體現(xiàn)逃生后的急切與慶幸.

②由第二段首句內(nèi)容“Liam在放瞳的天空下慢慢坐起身,拂去肩上的泥巴”可知,第二段可描寫脫險(xiǎn)后的狀

態(tài)與感悟,Liam檢查相機(jī)存儲卡:再寫兄弟間的對話(玩笑、規(guī)劃照片),展現(xiàn)緊張后的放松。

2.續(xù)寫線索:發(fā)現(xiàn)斷木一合作撬石一成功脫困一檢查存儲卡一兄弟對話一遠(yuǎn)離危險(xiǎn)

3.詞匯激活

行為類

①塞進(jìn):jam/heave

②代替:replace/taketheplaceof

③緩慢滲出:seep/ooze

心理類:

①虛弱地:wcakly/1imply

②微笑:smile/beam

[高分句型I]Hejammedoneendintoagapbetweentherocks,gruntingashepushed.(運(yùn)用現(xiàn)在分詞作伴隨狀

語以及as引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語從句)

[高分句型2]Together,theyheaveduntilasmallcrackwidened.(運(yùn)用了until引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語從句)

[策略示例]

一、聚焦“歷險(xiǎn)求生+情感羈絆”,緊扣原文核心線索

該試題的主題屬于“戶外歷險(xiǎn)與困境求生”,同時(shí)嵌套“兄弟情誼”的情感線,二者相互支撐,構(gòu)成故事

的核心框架。分析時(shí)需緊扣原文細(xì)節(jié),確保續(xù)寫不偏離主題基調(diào):

1.歷險(xiǎn)求生線:原文通過“烈日徒步—地震疑云一泥石流突襲T躲進(jìn)廢棄礦井一被困落石后”的情節(jié),

鋪墊,,逃生.,,的核心矛盾。續(xù)寫需圍繞“如何解決,被困,問題”展開——范文以“斷木為工具撬石”為突破口,設(shè)

計(jì)“塞木入縫-合力撬動一擠縫脫困一逃離危險(xiǎn)區(qū)”的逃生鏈,完美承接“求生''主線,如"Hejammedoneend

intoagapbetweentherocks,gnintingashepushed.4Hclpmeleverthis!*heyelledtoLiam”,動作描寫直接指向

“突破困境”的核心目標(biāo)。

2.兄弟情誼線:原文中Ethan的“沉穩(wěn)保護(hù)”(“Run!”“Leaveit!”“Cutitloose!”)與Liam的“依賴信任”

("hesitated,butthenhedidashisbrotherasked")已塑造鮮明人物關(guān)系。續(xù)寫需強(qiáng)化這一情感:范文中

Ethan"squeezedthroughfirst,thenpulledLiamoutbythearm”的保護(hù)動作、Liam脫險(xiǎn)后“checkedhispocket一

hiscameramemorycard...wassafe”的細(xì)節(jié)(既呼應(yīng)Liam對相機(jī)的重視,也暗含對兄弟建議的認(rèn)可),以及結(jié)

尾“Ethanclappedhisshoulder,H€Liamlaughed”的互動,均讓兄弟情自然落地,避免主題空洞。

二、"開頭句引領(lǐng)+邏輯分層推進(jìn)”,每段有“核心動作/場景”

讀后續(xù)寫的兩段需獨(dú)立成意又緊密銜接,每段需以“給定開頭句”為起點(diǎn),按小動作/狀態(tài)過程'一,結(jié)

果/過渡的邏輯分層,避免情節(jié)跳躍。

1.第一段:以“工具使用+逃生行動”為核心,分層推進(jìn)“脫困過程”

給定開頭句:*Ethan'sfingersclosedaroundtherough,dampwoodofthebrokentimber*(聚焦''斷木"這一

關(guān)鍵工具)

段落結(jié)構(gòu)需圍繞“如何用斷木逃生”展開,分三層推進(jìn):

第一層:匚具利用的初始動作:(解決“怎么用斷木”):[范文以“Hejammedoneendintoagapbetweenthe

rocks,gruntingashepushed”開篇,直接回應(yīng)開頭句的“擦住斷木”,通過"jam(塞進(jìn))皿push(推)”等動詞,

明確工具的使用方式,避免“拿到工具卻不行動”的邏輯斷層。

第二層:合作強(qiáng)化與突破(解決“如何成功”):用“Together,theyheaveduntilasmallcrackwidened”體現(xiàn)

兄弟協(xié)作(呼應(yīng)原文的“互相依賴''),"unti『引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語從句讓“從縫隙到裂縫”的過程更真實(shí),無突兀

感。

第三層:脫困后的初步行動(完成"逃生"閉環(huán)):"Ethansqueezedthroughfirst,thenpulledLiam

out',ustumblcdupadryslope,gaspingforair",既描寫“逃出落石區(qū)”的動作,又通過“gaspingfbrair”的細(xì)節(jié)體

現(xiàn)逃生后的生理反應(yīng),銜接自然;同時(shí)用“Thephonedied,butsunlightguidedthem”呼應(yīng)原文“phoneflashlight

flickered...batterywasdying”,讓場景連貫。

2.第二段:以“狀態(tài)恢復(fù)+情感升華”為核心,分層收束“故事結(jié)尾”

給定開頭句:*Liamsatupslowlyunderaclearingsky,brushingmudfromhisshoulders*(聚焦”脫險(xiǎn)后的

狀態(tài)”)

段落結(jié)構(gòu)需圍繞..恢友+感悟??展開,分三層收束:

第一層:關(guān)鍵細(xì)節(jié)的呼應(yīng)(勾連原文伏筆):"Hecheckedhispocket—hiscameramemorycard,savedbefore

cuttingthebag,wassafe”,直接呼應(yīng)原文"Liam'scamerabaghookedonnails.*Cutitloose!'“,既滿足Liam”重

視相機(jī)”的人物設(shè)定,又讓“切斷相機(jī)包卻保留存儲卡”的細(xì)節(jié)更合理,避免前文伏筆浪費(fèi)。

第二層:人物互動與情緒放松(強(qiáng)化情感線):‘"Wemadeit/hesmiledweakly.Ethanclappedhis

shouldef,tt4Nexttime,lefspickasaferhike/Ethanjoked'\通過對話和動作(clap、joke)展現(xiàn)緊張后的放松,

兄弟間的調(diào)侃讓情感更鮮活,而豐生硬的“抒情

第三層:環(huán)境與情緒的收尾(升華主題):“staringatthedistantwaterfallnowglintinginthesun,,uThe

canyon'sroarfadedbehindthem,replacedbytheirrelievedbreaths",用"glintingwaterfall”(與原文Liam期待的

“waterfallphotos"呼應(yīng))和"canyorfsroarfaded”(對比泥石流時(shí)的"roarpast”)的環(huán)境描寫,烘托“脫險(xiǎn)后的平

靜”,以“relievedbreaths”收尾,讓故事有“余韻”。

三、“分類精準(zhǔn)+服務(wù)場景”,用細(xì)節(jié)增強(qiáng)真實(shí)感

讀后續(xù)寫的詞句需“貼合場景、匹配人物、傳遞情緒”,避免堆砌華麗辭藻。結(jié)合試題及范文,可將典

型詞句分為四類,每類均有明確的功能指向:

典型詞句(原文+范文)功能分析

行原文:gripping(攥住)、pried(撬動)、crawled均為“戶外歷險(xiǎn)”場景的精準(zhǔn)動作詞,如“heave”體現(xiàn)

為(爬行);范文:jam(塞進(jìn))、heave(用力推)、撬石的費(fèi)力,“squeeze”體現(xiàn)縫隙的狹窄,讓“逃生''動

類squeeze(擠)、stumble(踉蹌走)作更真實(shí)可感,避免籠統(tǒng)的“push”“walk”,

原文:mudpoured(泥漿傾瀉)、debrisflowroared

環(huán)用環(huán)境變化烘托情緒:"mudoozed”暗示危險(xiǎn)未完全消

(泥石流轟鳴);范文:mudoozed(泥漿滲出)、

境失,^waterfallglinting'象征希望,“roarfaded”體現(xiàn)安

waterfallglinting(瀑布閃光)、canyon'sroarfaded

類全,環(huán)境與人物情緒同步變化。

(峽谷轟鳴漸弱)

心原文:Panicbegantosetin(恐慌蔓延);范文:用細(xì)微表情/動作傳遞心理:“smiledweakly”體現(xiàn)

理smiledweakly(虛弱微笑)、relievedbreaths(釋Liam脫險(xiǎn)后的疲憊與慶幸,"relievedbreaths”比直接寫

類然的呼吸)“theyfbltrelieved”更含蓄、更有畫面感。

高1.Hejammedoneendintoagapbetweenthe

句型服務(wù)情節(jié):"grunting”補(bǔ)充“push”時(shí)的狀態(tài)(費(fèi)

分rocks,gruntingashepushed.(現(xiàn)在分詞作伴隨狀

力),“until”展現(xiàn)“撬動”的過程性,避免句子簡單堆砌

句語+as時(shí)間從句)2.Together,theyheaveduntila

(如“Hepushedthewood.Acrackbecamewide")0

型smallcrackwidened,(until引導(dǎo)時(shí)間從句)

四、“嚴(yán)格對標(biāo)+細(xì)節(jié)落地”,避免偏離評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)

試題明確要求”續(xù)寫詞數(shù)150左右”“按格式作答”,且隱含“銜接原文、人物一致、情節(jié)合理”的要求。范

文通過以下方式精準(zhǔn)滿足:

1.詞數(shù)控制:兩段分別約70-80詞,合計(jì)150詞左右,避免一段過詳、一段過略(如第一段聚焦“逃生

動作”,第二段聚焦“脫險(xiǎn)互動”,篇幅均衡)。

2.銜接原文:無“斷檔”細(xì)節(jié)如原文“phonebatterydying",范文“Thephonedied”承接;原文“Liamcut

thecamerabagM?范文“cameramemorycard,savedbefbrecullingihebag”呼應(yīng),確?!扒坝袖仧帷⒑笥泻魬?yīng)”。

3.人物一致:始終保持Ethan“沉穩(wěn)主導(dǎo)”、Liam“重視相機(jī)”的人設(shè)——Ethan全程指揮(“Helpmelever

this!”)、保護(hù)兄弟("pulledLiamout");Liam脫險(xiǎn)后第一時(shí)間檢查存儲卡,符合原文“adjustedhiscamerabelt

excitedly,Hlhesitated,5(不舍相機(jī)包)的性格,無“人設(shè)崩塌

五、“四步走”確保續(xù)寫質(zhì)量,可復(fù)制性強(qiáng)

結(jié)合該試題的寫作邏輯,可提煉出通用的“讀后續(xù)寫四步策略”,每一步均有明確操作方法:

1,第一步:讀透原文,抓3條核心線

動筆前需梳理原文的“人物線”“矛盾線”“伏筆線”,避免續(xù)寫偏離:

人物線:Ethan(17歲,沉穩(wěn)、保護(hù)者)vsLiam(15歲,興奮、重視相機(jī));

矛盾線:“遭遇泥石流一躲進(jìn)礦井一被困落石后“,核心矛盾是“如何逃出落石區(qū)”:

伏筆線:Liam的相機(jī)(多次關(guān)及,需在續(xù)寫中交代結(jié)局)、手機(jī)電量(逐漸耗盡,需銜接)。

例如:范文正是抓住“相機(jī)”這一伏筆,讓Liam檢查存儲卡的細(xì)節(jié)更合理,而非憑空新增情節(jié)。

2.第二步:圍繞開頭句,搭“動作/場景”框架

針對每段開頭句,先確定“核心動作(第一段)”或“核心場景(第二段)“,再拆分細(xì)節(jié):

第一段開頭句“攥住斷木”T核心動作:”用斷木撬石逃生”T拆分細(xì)節(jié):塞木―發(fā)力一擴(kuò)縫-脫困一逃離;

笫二段開頭句“坐起身拂泥”一核心場景:“脫險(xiǎn)后恢復(fù)與互動”一拆分細(xì)節(jié):查存儲卡-對話玩笑一看瀑

布一遠(yuǎn)離危險(xiǎn)。

例如:范文未偏離開頭句的“新木拂泥'',所有情節(jié)均圍繞這兩個(gè)起點(diǎn)展開,無“跑題”。

3.第三步;用“小細(xì)節(jié)”讓情節(jié)“落地”

避免“空泛敘事”,加入“生理反應(yīng)、環(huán)境互動”等小細(xì)節(jié):

生理反應(yīng):“gaspingforair”(逃生后喘氣)、“smiledweakly”(疲憊微笑),讓人物更“有血有肉”;

環(huán)境互動:"stumbledupadryslope”(踉蹌走在干坡上,體現(xiàn)地形)、“waterfallnowglintinginthesun”

(瀑布反光,體現(xiàn)天氣轉(zhuǎn)晴),讓場景更“真實(shí)可觸

例如:若只寫“theygotoutandleft”,則情節(jié)空洞:范文加入“gasping""stumbled”等細(xì)節(jié),讓逃生更具“畫

面感”。

4,第四步:情感收尾,呼應(yīng)主題

結(jié)尾需通過“人物互動+環(huán)境烘托''升華情感,而非生硬總結(jié):

人物互動:兄弟間的玩笑("Nexttime,let'spickasaferhikcn)^動作(“clappedhisshoulder”),體現(xiàn)兄

弟情;

環(huán)境烘托:“canyon'sroarfaded”“relievedbreaths",用環(huán)境平靜呼應(yīng)人物情緒放松,讓主題(歷險(xiǎn)中的

勇氣與親情)自然落地。

例如:范文未直接寫“theylovedeachother",而是通過調(diào)侃和呼吸聲,讓情感更含蓄、更動人。

y實(shí)戰(zhàn)演煉

1.(25-26高三上?浙江?開學(xué)考試)閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇

完整的短文。

Bearwasnotabear.ShewasabigdogonthePerkinses'familyfann,awoollycreaturewithfloppyearsand

pawslikebedroomslippers.Sheprotectedtheducksandchickensfrombeingeatenbyfoxesandraccoons(浣熊).

Sheguardedthechildrenaswell,watchingoverthemascloselyasshedidthechickensandducks.Inwinter

(hedogranalongside(hechildrenastheysledded(滑雪橇)downsnowyhills.Insummersheswamwiththemina

nearbyriver.

Bearbelongedtoabreed(品種)thathadlongbeenusedbyAtlanticfishermentohelpwiththeirwork,andit

hadakeeninstinctforwaterrescue.Whenthechildrenwereintheriver,thedogwouldswimincirclesaround

(hem,barkingwhenshefelttheywen(outtoofar.Shewastheperfectfarmdog-companion,guardian,protector.

Thedog'sfavoriteamongthethreechildrenwasthree-year-oldlittleMike.Theyoftencurleduptogether.

SometimesBearwoulddozewhileMikepretendedtoreadtoher.Oftenbothweresoundasleep,atangleofdark

fur,blondhair,smallhandsandhugepaws.Atbedtime,MikesavedhislasthugfbrBear,his“bestfiiend,\

Onacoldwinterday,whentheirparentswentouttosendaparcel,eight-year-oldMartha,seven-year-old

SaraandMike,wenttoslideonthefrozenpondoftheirfarm.Shoutinghappily,theyslidbackandforth,their

bootsglidingeasilyacrosstheice.TheylaughedastheywatchedBear'sattemptstostopsuddenly,whichwould

insteadsendherskiddingbeyondthem.Then,tired,thethreesaldownontheice,withBearbesidethem.Suddenly

theicegavewayundertheircombinedweight.

AsBearjumpedforshore,thethreechildrenfellintothefreezingcoldwater.Screaming,MarthaandSarah

struggledtofindfootingonrocksunderwater.Branchesfromatreenearbyprovidedhandholds,andusingeverybit

oftheirstrength,thetwogirlspulledthemselvestoshore.

注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;

2.請按如下格式在答題卷的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Paragraph1:Lookingback,theysawlittleMikeholdingontoabrokenchunk1人塊)ofice,unabletocrawlonto

it.

Paragraph2:Seeingthat,Bearletoutaseriesofwoofsandjumpedintothewater,headingstraightforMike.

2.(2025?河南?模擬預(yù)測)閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短

文。

Underaflatwinterlight,fourwomenrodetheirbicyclesinnorthernColorado'sRooseveltNationalForest.

Theyarccompetitivecyclistswhoknowtheroutewell.MostofthemrideforateamcalledRecycledCycles

Racing,basedoutofSeattle.Astheymadetheirwayalongawidesectionofthepath.Wolfledtheway,Williams

rodealoneinthemiddle,andBergereandTietzbroughtuptherear(殿后).

Suddenly,Tietzsawtwolargeanimalsemergefrom(hewoodsofftotherightjustafterBergerepassed.She

didn'tseeclearly,socouldn'tidentifywhatthetwoanimalswere.

Nosoonerhadtheyidentifiedtheanimalsthantheterriblethinghappened.Thefirstoneranquicklyacross

thepathinfrontofBergere,andthenrushedtotheleftanddisappeared.Thesecondfollowed,butinthelastinstant

itstopped.ItmighthavebeendistractedbythemovementofBergere'sbicycle,jumpedatBergere'sback,and

pulledhertothegroundwithteethandclaws(爪子).Tietzletoutascaryscream,t4Ohmy,theyarecougars(美洲

獅)”

Wolfturnedaroundquickly.Herfirstreactionwastoputasmuchdistanceaspossiblebetweenherselfand

thescaryanimal.Butquickly,shepusheddownherfearandrushedtohelpBergere.Williamsandotherfriendsall

cametohelp.TheypulledtheanimalawayfromBergere'sneck.

“Call911,“yelledWolf.Tietzimmediatelycalledbuttherewasnoresponse.For15minutes,thewomen

werehitting,kicking,punching,andscreaming.Finally,thecougarreleasedBergere,anditmightturnonanyorall

ofthem.Bergerestretchedout,andshewastiredandinjured—butbreathingandawake.UHELLO?THISIS911.

STATEYOUREMERGENCY.^^Thevoiceofthe911callcentercamethroughTietz'sphone,whichwaslyingon

theground.

注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;

2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Whenseeinganothercyclistridingtowardthem,thewomenrealizeditwastheirteammateCaswell.

Bergerespentfivedaysinthehospital.

3.(2025?安徽?三模)閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

AfterHurricaneMiltonhitFlorida'sGulfCoasthard,theCoastGuardhelicopterteamhadatoughjob:find

amissingboatcaptainfloatinginthehugeocean.Alltheyknewwasthathehadonaredlifejacket,ablackshirt,

andblackpants.Itseemedreallyhardtofindhim,buttheykeptsearching,watchingtheroughwatersbelow.

Themissingcaptain,Mike,hadbeenaboardafishingboatcalledthe"Capi.Davc,\tryingtobringitbackto

portaftermakingrepairsearlyonWednesday.Sadly,theboat'senginestoppedworking,andastheafternoonwent

by,thestormgotstronger.Withstrongwindscomingat2p.m.andHurricaneMiltongettingevenmorepowerful,

thingsgotreallybad.TheCoastGuardcalledMikeontheradioandtoldhimtoputonhislifejacketandstaywith

theboat'semergencysignaldevice.Theylasttalkedat6:45p.m.,justafewhoursbeforethehurricanereachedthe

land.

Alonein(hewildsea,Mikeheldon(oacooler,theonlythingkeepinghimsteadyinthebigwaves.Asthe

hoursdraggedon,Mike'sarmsachedunbearablyfromtheconstantstrainofclingingtothecooler.Thewindblew

loudly,andhugewaveshitaroundhim.buthislifejacketkepthimfromsinking.Allthroughthelongnight,he

facedthestorm'sanger,checkingtheemergencysignalinhispocketnowandthen,hopingfbrhelp.

WhenthesuncameuponThursday,thehelicopterteamwasstartingtolosehopeafterlookingforhours

withoutsuccess.Butthen,aweaksignalshowedontheirfindingequipment.Theirheartsbeatingfast,they

followed(hesignal,eyeslockedonthewater.Suddenly,theysawsomethingmovinginthewaves.Astheygot

closer,theysawtwoarmswavingwildly—itwasMike,stillholding(hecoolertightly.Thehelicopterquickly

loweredarescueswimmerintothewater.

注意:

1.繪寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右:

2.請按如卜格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

TherescueswimmerswamtowardsMikea*fastashecould.

Atthehospital,Mike'sfamilypacedoutsidetheemergencyroom.

4.(2025?河北秦皇島?三模)閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的

短文。

Thestonncloudsgatheredfasterthanweexpected.MyclimbingpartnerJakeandIwerehalfvvayupEagle's

Peakwhenthefirsthailstones(冰雹)struckourhelmetslikebullets.Ourgloved(戴手套的)handsgrippedtothe

wetrockfaceas(hewindtriedtoblowusoff(hemountain.

“Climbdown!Now!^^Jakeshoutedoverth

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