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主題10.緊急事件的應(yīng)對策略
素材積累
一、主題解析
本專題”緊急事件的應(yīng)對策略”是高考讀后續(xù)寫的高頻主題,涵蓋意外傷害(如摔傷、溺水)、自然災(zāi)
害(如地震、火災(zāi))、突發(fā)困境(如迷路、被困)等場景。這類文本核心考查“危機(jī)感知一理性決策一行
動執(zhí)行一結(jié)果反饋”的邏輯鏈條,以及人物在高壓下的心態(tài)變化與應(yīng)對智慧。
從寫作要求看,需把握三個(gè)關(guān)鍵:一是情節(jié)連貫性,應(yīng)對行為需貼合前文鋪墊的人物身份與場景條件,
如野外受傷應(yīng)優(yōu)先關(guān)聯(lián)"急救包'"信號求助"等細(xì)節(jié):二是細(xì)節(jié)真實(shí)性,通過精準(zhǔn)動作(如“按壓止血"固
定肢體”)與心態(tài)描寫(如,?心跳加速”“強(qiáng)作鎮(zhèn)定”)增強(qiáng)畫面感;三是主題正向性,突出冷靜、協(xié)作、應(yīng)變
能力等核心品質(zhì),契合高考價(jià)值觀導(dǎo)向。熟練掌握此類主題,口:有效應(yīng)對約30%的讀后續(xù)寫真題場景。
二、詞句儲備
1.基本詞匯及短語
emergency突發(fā)事件victim受害者
first-aidkit急救箱trap被困
bandage繃帶collapse倒塌;暈倒
wound傷口earthquake地震
bleed流血flood洪水
stopthebleeding止血fire火災(zāi)
sprain扭傷choke噎住
fracture骨折breath呼吸
abrasion擦傷difficultyinbreathing呼吸困難
disinfect消毒panic恐慌
painkiller止痛藥calm冷靜的
ambulance救護(hù)車alert警覺的
firefighter消防員grab抓生
rescue營救drag拖現(xiàn)
rush迅速運(yùn)送regainconsc沁usness恢復(fù)意識
callforhelp呼救shock休克
emergencyexit緊急出口pulse脈搏
safetydrill安全演習(xí)stretcher擔(dān)架
shelter避難所evacuate疏散
medicalassistance醫(yī)療援助survive幸存
2.高分詞匯及短語
stabilize(使)穩(wěn)定;固定
【例句】Beforethedoctorarrived,hestabilizedtheinjuredarmwithasticktoavoidfurtherharm.(醫(yī)生到來
前,他用樹枝固定受傷的手臂以防二次傷害。)
acrid刺鼻的
【例句】Shesmelledanacridburningodorandrealizedthekitchenwasonfire.(她聞到刺鼻的焦味,意識
到廚房著火了。)
seclude偏僻的;隱蔽的
【例句】Theyfinallyfoundthelostchildonasecludedbenchinthepark.(他們最終在公園一張偏僻的長
椅上找到了走失的孩子。)
desperation絕望
【例句】Indesperation,hewavedhisjackettosignalthepassinghelicopter.(絕空中,他揮舞夾克向路過的
直升機(jī)發(fā)信號。)
promptly立即;迅速地
[例句]Theteacherpromptlyorganizedstudentstoevacuatewhen(healarmrang.(警報(bào)響起時(shí),老師立即
組織學(xué)生疏散。)
alleviate緩解;減輕
【例句】Thepainkillerhelpedalleviatetheboy'sdiscomfortaftertheaccident.(止痛藥相助緩解了男孩事
故后的不適。)
vigorous有力的
【例句】Hegavevigorouspressesonthevictim'schesttodoCPR.(他用力按壓受害者胸部進(jìn)行心肺復(fù)蘇。)
disoriented迷失方向的
[例句]Aftertheearthquake,theoldmanfeltdisorientedandcouldn'tfindtheexit.(地震后,老人感到迷
失方向,找不到出口。)
crucial至關(guān)重要的
[例句]It'scmcialtostaycalmwhenfacingemergencysituations.(面對緊急情況時(shí)保持冷靜至關(guān)重要。)
maneuver設(shè)法移動;操控
[例句]Shemaneuveredthroughthecrowdtocallanambulancefortheinjured.(她擠過人群為傷者叫救護(hù)
車。)
succor援助;救助
【例句】Thehikerwaitedforsuccoraftergettingstuckinthesnowslorm.(徒步者在暴風(fēng)雪中被困后等待救
援。)
taut緊繃的
【例句】Hisfacewastautwithanxietyashewaitedfortherescueteam.(等待救援隊(duì)時(shí),他的臉因焦慮而
緊繃。)
administer實(shí)施;給予
【例句】Thenurseadministeredfirstaidtothepatientbeforehospilalizalion.(護(hù)士在患者住院前實(shí)施了急
救。)
imminent即將發(fā)生的
【例句JTheysensedtheimminentdangerandrantothesafezone.(他們察覺到即將到來的危險(xiǎn),跑向安
全區(qū)。)
retrieve取回:找回
【例句】Heriskedhislifetoretrievethetrappeddogfromtheflood.(他冒著生命危險(xiǎn)從洪水中救出被困的
狗。)
trembling顫抖的
[例句]Withtremblinghands,sheappliedthebandagetothewound.(她用顫抖的手給傷口纏上繃帶。)
expedite加速;促進(jìn)
【例句】Thcpoliceexpeditedtherescueprocessafterreceivingthecall.(警方接到電話后加快了救援進(jìn)程?!?/p>
peril危險(xiǎn);險(xiǎn)境
【例句】Thegroupmanagedtoescapefrom(heperilofthelandslide.(這群人成功逃離了山體滑坡的險(xiǎn)境。)
soothe安撫;緩解
【例句】Shespokesoftlytosoothethescaredchild.(她輕聲說話安撫受驚的孩子。)
pivotal關(guān)鍵的;核心的
【例句】Hisquickdecisionplayedapivotalroleinthesuccessfulrescue.(他的快速決策在成功救援中起到
了關(guān)鍵作用。)
3.高分句式
Sbcouldfeelone'sheartpoundingwildlyinone'schest.(某人感到心在胸中怦怦直跳。)
One'sheartthumpedwildlywhenseeingtheemergency.(看到緊急情況時(shí),某人心怦怦直跳。)
Themomentsheheardthescream,sherushedoutoftheroom.(一聽到尖叫聲,她就沖出了房間T
Nosoonerhad(heearthquakestruck(hantheyrantotheopenarea.(地震一發(fā)生,他們就跑到了空曠地帶。)
Hardlyhadherealizedthedangerwhenhegrabbedthefirst-aidkit.(他剛意識到危險(xiǎn),就抓起了急救箱。)
Withoutasecondthought,hejumpedintothewatertosavethedrowningboy.(他不假思索地跳進(jìn)水里救溺水的
男孩。)
Withouthesitation,shecalledtheemergencynumber120.(她亳不猶豫地?fù)艽蛄思本入娫?20。)
Withoutdelay,theycarriedtheinjuredtothenearesthospital.(他們立即把傷者抬到了最近的醫(yī)院.)
Sbcouldhardlywaittoopenthefirst-aidkittohelpthevictim.(某人迫不及待地打一開急救箱幫助受害者。)
One'seyesmistedwithtearswhenseeingiherescueteamarrive.(看至U救援隊(duì)至ij來,某人淚眼模糊。)
Tearsrolleddownhercheeksasshetalkedabouttheterribleexperience.(談起那次可怕的經(jīng)歷,汨水從她臉頰
流下。)
Shewasclosetotearswhenrealizingherfriendwastrapped.(意識到朋友被困,她幾乎要哭了。)
Sbdidsth,wonderingwhattodonextinthechaos.(在混亂中,某人做了某事,不知道接下來該怎么辦。)
Pretendingtobecalm,heshoutedatthetopofhisvoiceforhelp.(他假裝鎮(zhèn)定,聲嘶力竭地呼救。)
Timetickedawayslowly,andhefelldeathwasdrawingnear.(時(shí)間緩緩流逝,他感到死亡正在逼近。)
With(hehelpofpassers-by,theymanagedtopull(hecaroutoftheditch.(在路人的幫助下,他們成功把車從溝
里拉了出來。)
Everyminutecountswhendealingwithableedingwound.(處理流111傷口時(shí),分秒必爭。)
Helaidthevictimonhisbackandbegantodoartificialrespiration.(他讓受害者仰躺著,開始做人工呼吸。)
Applyingfirmpressuretothewoundcaneffectivelystopbleeding.(用力按壓傷口能七f效止血。)
Theycarriedafirst-aidkitwhileh汰ingincaseofemergencies.(他們徒步時(shí)隨身攜帶急救包,以防突發(fā)情況。)
Afterreachingasafespot,shefinallybreathedasighofrelief.(到達(dá)安全地帶后,她終于松了一口氣。)
Hecheckedhimselfcarefullytomakesurehewasn'tinjuredintheaccident.(他仔細(xì)檢查自己,確保在事故中沒
有受傷。)
Heranxietystartedtofadewhensheheardthehelicopter'ssound.(聽到直升機(jī)的聲而她的焦慮開始消散。)
Itwascrucialthattheystayedtogethertoavoidgettinglostfuriher.(他們待在,起以防進(jìn)?步迷路,這至關(guān)重要。)
Hepainstakinglytooktinybreathstostayconsciousinthesmoke.(在煙霧中,他費(fèi)力地做著淺呼吸以保持清醒。)
Thechildrenweresoscaredthattheirfacesturnedpaleandtheycriedforhelp.(孩子們嚇得臉都白了,哭喊著救
命。)
Sheshookthesnowoffherhandsandtriedtofreehertrappedleg.(她抖掉手上的雪,努力掙脫被困的腿。)
Callingforanambulanceisthefirststepwhensomeonecollapsessuddenly.(有人突然暈倒時(shí),叫救護(hù)車是第一
步。)
Thefirehadengulfedthekitchenbeforetheynoticedthedanger.(在他們察覺到危險(xiǎn)前,大火已經(jīng)吞噬了廚房。)
Withtremblinghands,sheappliedthedisinfectanttotheabrasiongently.(她用顫抖的手輕輕地把消毒液涂在擦
傷處。)
三、寫作策略
【策略解析】
主題類型段落主體典型詞句寫作要求寫作策略
意外傷害救援1.發(fā)現(xiàn)險(xiǎn)情(感disinfectthewound,1.急救動作符合1.用“withoutdelay”
知信號+初步stabilizetheinjury,call常識2.體現(xiàn)等短語強(qiáng)化節(jié)奏2.通
判斷)2.實(shí)施救fbranambulance,apply“分秒必爭”的過“iremblinghands”
助(動作鏈:我abandage緊迫感3.穿插等細(xì)節(jié)增強(qiáng)真實(shí)感3.
工具一急救操人物心態(tài)變化按“判斷?行動-
作)3.后續(xù)處理結(jié)果邏輯推進(jìn)
(送醫(yī)/等待救
援)
自然災(zāi)害逃生1.察覺危機(jī)(感acridburningodor,1.逃生行為符合1.用“themoment...**
官描寫+確認(rèn)evacuateimmediately,災(zāi)害應(yīng)對規(guī)范2.句式銜接險(xiǎn)情與行動
災(zāi)害)2.緊急避emergencyexit,shelter情節(jié)貼合場景2.借助"panic/calm”
險(xiǎn)(逃生路徑+inplace(如地震躲桌等詞對比心態(tài)3.加入
防護(hù)動作)3.安底)3.突出冷靜“grabwatcr/kif'等實(shí)
全確認(rèn)(清點(diǎn)人協(xié)作用細(xì)節(jié)
員+求助)
野外被困脫困1.困境確認(rèn)(迷disoriented,send1.自救方法合理1.用“timeticked
失/受困+資signals,succor,可行2.體現(xiàn)away”營造緊張感2.
源盤點(diǎn))2.自救secludedarea,regain“絕望?堅(jiān)持-通過“wave
嘗試(發(fā)信號+consciousness希望”的情緒變jackct/shout^^等動作
尋找出路)3.救化3.與前文環(huán)鏈展現(xiàn)努力3.以
援銜接(發(fā)現(xiàn)救境呼應(yīng)“tearsmistcd^^等句表
援+狀態(tài)描述)現(xiàn)獲救情緒
【策略應(yīng)用】
[寫作試題]
(重慶市第一中學(xué)校2025-2026學(xué)年高三9月月考英語試題)閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)
寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。
TheCanyon(峽谷)Escape
Thesummersunburnedlikeanovenovertherockycanyon.Seventeen-year-oldEthanwipedsweatfromhis
dustyforehead,lookingatthetrailaheadwithnarrowedeyes.HisyoungerbrotherLiam,fifteenandskinny,
adjustedhiscamerabeltexcitedly."Thewaterfallphotoswillwinfirstprize“hedeclared.Ethanchuckled,kicking
aloosestone."Onlyifwcsun'ivethehikc.^^
They'dbeenwalkingforhours.Birdschirpedin(hedistance,buttheairfeltheavy.Suddenly,theground
trembled.EthanGoze."Earthquake?”Liamwhispered,grippinghiscamera.Adeeplowboomanswered—not
fromtheearth,butthesky.Darkcloudsswallowedthesun.
“Run!”EthangrabbedLiam'sarm.Mudpoureddownthecanyonwalls,chokingthepath.Theyspedtoward
acrackinthecliffyslippingonwetrocks.Liam*sshoegotstuck.**Lcaveit!”Ethanshouted,dragginghimintothe
narrowgapjustasawaveofdebrisflow(泥石流)roaredpast.
Insidethecrack,rainhissedagainststone.Liamshivered,pointingtoarustymetaldoorhalf-buriedindirt.
“Look—anoldmine!”Theypried(撬動)itopen,carefullywalkingintodarkness.Theairsmelledofwetmetal
androt.Ethan'sphoneflashlightflickered,revealingalowtunnelsupportedbyrottingbeams(橫梁).
Theycrawledforward,someoftheceilingevenrubbingtheirbacks.Liam'scamerabaghookedon
nails."Cutitloose!MEthanordered.Liamhesitated,butthenhedidashisbrotheraskedanywaywithapocketknife.
Thelightofthephonewavered—thebatteiywasdying.Panicbegantosetin.
ThenLiampointed.44Light—upahead!”Afaintlightoutlinedapileoffallenrocksblockingtheirpath.
Theyscrambledtowardit,heartspounding.Butastheydrewcloser,theyrealizedtheopeningwastoosmall.They
weretrapped.
Ethanshonethedyingflashlightarounddesperately.Hiseyesfellonabrokentimber(木料)lyingnearby
注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右;
2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。
Ethan'sfingersclosedaroundtherough,dampwoodofthebrekentimber.
Liamsatupslowlyunderaclearingsky,bmshingmudfromhisshoulders.
[范文實(shí)踐]
【參考范文】
Ethan'sfingersclosedaroundtherough,dampwoodofthebrokentimber.Hejammedoneendintoagap
betweentherocks,gruntingashepushed.uIIclpmeleverthis!^^heyelledtoLiam.Together,theyheaveduntila
smallcrackwidened.Ethansqueezedthroughfirst,thenpulledLiamoutbythearm.Thephonedied,dutsunlight
guidedthem-ihey'dreachedthecanyonedge!Mudstilloozednearby,sotheystumbledupadryslope,gasping
forair.
Liamsatupslowlyunderaclearingsky,brushingmudfromhisshoulders.Hecheckedhispocket—his
cameramemorycard,savedbeforecuttingthebag,wassafe.uWemadeitJhesmiledweakly.Ethanclappedhis
shoulder,staringatthedistantwaterfallnowglintinginthesun.**Ncxttime,let'spickasaferhike/*Ethanjoked.
Liamlaughed,alreadyplanningtoeditthedisaster-turned-adventurephotos.Thecanyon'sroarfadedbehindthem,
replacedbytheirrelievedbreaths.
【寫作解析】
本文以Ethan和Liam的峽谷徒步歷險(xiǎn)為線索,講述兄弟二人遭遇泥石流后躲進(jìn)廢棄礦井,被困于落石后,
憑借智慧與合作利用斷木撬開通道逃生,最終安全脫險(xiǎn)并保住珍貴相機(jī)存儲卡的故事,展現(xiàn)了困境中的勇
氣與兄弟情誼。
1.段落續(xù)寫:
①由第一段首句內(nèi)容“Elhan的手指攥住了那根粗糙潮濕的斷木”可知,第一段可圍繞“利用斷木逃牛”展開:
描寫Elhan與Liam合作撬動落石的動作(塞木、發(fā)力、擴(kuò)大縫隙),突出二人的默契與堅(jiān)持;再寫成功脫
困后的場景(手機(jī)沒電、借陽光辨路、逃離危險(xiǎn)區(qū)域),體現(xiàn)逃生后的急切與慶幸.
②由第二段首句內(nèi)容“Liam在放瞳的天空下慢慢坐起身,拂去肩上的泥巴”可知,第二段可描寫脫險(xiǎn)后的狀
態(tài)與感悟,Liam檢查相機(jī)存儲卡:再寫兄弟間的對話(玩笑、規(guī)劃照片),展現(xiàn)緊張后的放松。
2.續(xù)寫線索:發(fā)現(xiàn)斷木一合作撬石一成功脫困一檢查存儲卡一兄弟對話一遠(yuǎn)離危險(xiǎn)
3.詞匯激活
行為類
①塞進(jìn):jam/heave
②代替:replace/taketheplaceof
③緩慢滲出:seep/ooze
心理類:
①虛弱地:wcakly/1imply
②微笑:smile/beam
[高分句型I]Hejammedoneendintoagapbetweentherocks,gruntingashepushed.(運(yùn)用現(xiàn)在分詞作伴隨狀
語以及as引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語從句)
[高分句型2]Together,theyheaveduntilasmallcrackwidened.(運(yùn)用了until引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語從句)
[策略示例]
一、聚焦“歷險(xiǎn)求生+情感羈絆”,緊扣原文核心線索
該試題的主題屬于“戶外歷險(xiǎn)與困境求生”,同時(shí)嵌套“兄弟情誼”的情感線,二者相互支撐,構(gòu)成故事
的核心框架。分析時(shí)需緊扣原文細(xì)節(jié),確保續(xù)寫不偏離主題基調(diào):
1.歷險(xiǎn)求生線:原文通過“烈日徒步—地震疑云一泥石流突襲T躲進(jìn)廢棄礦井一被困落石后”的情節(jié),
鋪墊,,逃生.,,的核心矛盾。續(xù)寫需圍繞“如何解決,被困,問題”展開——范文以“斷木為工具撬石”為突破口,設(shè)
計(jì)“塞木入縫-合力撬動一擠縫脫困一逃離危險(xiǎn)區(qū)”的逃生鏈,完美承接“求生''主線,如"Hejammedoneend
intoagapbetweentherocks,gnintingashepushed.4Hclpmeleverthis!*heyelledtoLiam”,動作描寫直接指向
“突破困境”的核心目標(biāo)。
2.兄弟情誼線:原文中Ethan的“沉穩(wěn)保護(hù)”(“Run!”“Leaveit!”“Cutitloose!”)與Liam的“依賴信任”
("hesitated,butthenhedidashisbrotherasked")已塑造鮮明人物關(guān)系。續(xù)寫需強(qiáng)化這一情感:范文中
Ethan"squeezedthroughfirst,thenpulledLiamoutbythearm”的保護(hù)動作、Liam脫險(xiǎn)后“checkedhispocket一
hiscameramemorycard...wassafe”的細(xì)節(jié)(既呼應(yīng)Liam對相機(jī)的重視,也暗含對兄弟建議的認(rèn)可),以及結(jié)
尾“Ethanclappedhisshoulder,H€Liamlaughed”的互動,均讓兄弟情自然落地,避免主題空洞。
二、"開頭句引領(lǐng)+邏輯分層推進(jìn)”,每段有“核心動作/場景”
讀后續(xù)寫的兩段需獨(dú)立成意又緊密銜接,每段需以“給定開頭句”為起點(diǎn),按小動作/狀態(tài)過程'一,結(jié)
果/過渡的邏輯分層,避免情節(jié)跳躍。
1.第一段:以“工具使用+逃生行動”為核心,分層推進(jìn)“脫困過程”
給定開頭句:*Ethan'sfingersclosedaroundtherough,dampwoodofthebrokentimber*(聚焦''斷木"這一
關(guān)鍵工具)
段落結(jié)構(gòu)需圍繞“如何用斷木逃生”展開,分三層推進(jìn):
第一層:匚具利用的初始動作:(解決“怎么用斷木”):[范文以“Hejammedoneendintoagapbetweenthe
rocks,gruntingashepushed”開篇,直接回應(yīng)開頭句的“擦住斷木”,通過"jam(塞進(jìn))皿push(推)”等動詞,
明確工具的使用方式,避免“拿到工具卻不行動”的邏輯斷層。
第二層:合作強(qiáng)化與突破(解決“如何成功”):用“Together,theyheaveduntilasmallcrackwidened”體現(xiàn)
兄弟協(xié)作(呼應(yīng)原文的“互相依賴''),"unti『引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語從句讓“從縫隙到裂縫”的過程更真實(shí),無突兀
感。
第三層:脫困后的初步行動(完成"逃生"閉環(huán)):"Ethansqueezedthroughfirst,thenpulledLiam
out',ustumblcdupadryslope,gaspingforair",既描寫“逃出落石區(qū)”的動作,又通過“gaspingfbrair”的細(xì)節(jié)體
現(xiàn)逃生后的生理反應(yīng),銜接自然;同時(shí)用“Thephonedied,butsunlightguidedthem”呼應(yīng)原文“phoneflashlight
flickered...batterywasdying”,讓場景連貫。
2.第二段:以“狀態(tài)恢復(fù)+情感升華”為核心,分層收束“故事結(jié)尾”
給定開頭句:*Liamsatupslowlyunderaclearingsky,brushingmudfromhisshoulders*(聚焦”脫險(xiǎn)后的
狀態(tài)”)
段落結(jié)構(gòu)需圍繞..恢友+感悟??展開,分三層收束:
第一層:關(guān)鍵細(xì)節(jié)的呼應(yīng)(勾連原文伏筆):"Hecheckedhispocket—hiscameramemorycard,savedbefore
cuttingthebag,wassafe”,直接呼應(yīng)原文"Liam'scamerabaghookedonnails.*Cutitloose!'“,既滿足Liam”重
視相機(jī)”的人物設(shè)定,又讓“切斷相機(jī)包卻保留存儲卡”的細(xì)節(jié)更合理,避免前文伏筆浪費(fèi)。
第二層:人物互動與情緒放松(強(qiáng)化情感線):‘"Wemadeit/hesmiledweakly.Ethanclappedhis
shouldef,tt4Nexttime,lefspickasaferhike/Ethanjoked'\通過對話和動作(clap、joke)展現(xiàn)緊張后的放松,
兄弟間的調(diào)侃讓情感更鮮活,而豐生硬的“抒情
第三層:環(huán)境與情緒的收尾(升華主題):“staringatthedistantwaterfallnowglintinginthesun,,uThe
canyon'sroarfadedbehindthem,replacedbytheirrelievedbreaths",用"glintingwaterfall”(與原文Liam期待的
“waterfallphotos"呼應(yīng))和"canyorfsroarfaded”(對比泥石流時(shí)的"roarpast”)的環(huán)境描寫,烘托“脫險(xiǎn)后的平
靜”,以“relievedbreaths”收尾,讓故事有“余韻”。
三、“分類精準(zhǔn)+服務(wù)場景”,用細(xì)節(jié)增強(qiáng)真實(shí)感
讀后續(xù)寫的詞句需“貼合場景、匹配人物、傳遞情緒”,避免堆砌華麗辭藻。結(jié)合試題及范文,可將典
型詞句分為四類,每類均有明確的功能指向:
類
典型詞句(原文+范文)功能分析
別
行原文:gripping(攥住)、pried(撬動)、crawled均為“戶外歷險(xiǎn)”場景的精準(zhǔn)動作詞,如“heave”體現(xiàn)
為(爬行);范文:jam(塞進(jìn))、heave(用力推)、撬石的費(fèi)力,“squeeze”體現(xiàn)縫隙的狹窄,讓“逃生''動
類squeeze(擠)、stumble(踉蹌走)作更真實(shí)可感,避免籠統(tǒng)的“push”“walk”,
原文:mudpoured(泥漿傾瀉)、debrisflowroared
環(huán)用環(huán)境變化烘托情緒:"mudoozed”暗示危險(xiǎn)未完全消
(泥石流轟鳴);范文:mudoozed(泥漿滲出)、
境失,^waterfallglinting'象征希望,“roarfaded”體現(xiàn)安
waterfallglinting(瀑布閃光)、canyon'sroarfaded
類全,環(huán)境與人物情緒同步變化。
(峽谷轟鳴漸弱)
心原文:Panicbegantosetin(恐慌蔓延);范文:用細(xì)微表情/動作傳遞心理:“smiledweakly”體現(xiàn)
理smiledweakly(虛弱微笑)、relievedbreaths(釋Liam脫險(xiǎn)后的疲憊與慶幸,"relievedbreaths”比直接寫
類然的呼吸)“theyfbltrelieved”更含蓄、更有畫面感。
高1.Hejammedoneendintoagapbetweenthe
句型服務(wù)情節(jié):"grunting”補(bǔ)充“push”時(shí)的狀態(tài)(費(fèi)
分rocks,gruntingashepushed.(現(xiàn)在分詞作伴隨狀
力),“until”展現(xiàn)“撬動”的過程性,避免句子簡單堆砌
句語+as時(shí)間從句)2.Together,theyheaveduntila
(如“Hepushedthewood.Acrackbecamewide")0
型smallcrackwidened,(until引導(dǎo)時(shí)間從句)
四、“嚴(yán)格對標(biāo)+細(xì)節(jié)落地”,避免偏離評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)
試題明確要求”續(xù)寫詞數(shù)150左右”“按格式作答”,且隱含“銜接原文、人物一致、情節(jié)合理”的要求。范
文通過以下方式精準(zhǔn)滿足:
1.詞數(shù)控制:兩段分別約70-80詞,合計(jì)150詞左右,避免一段過詳、一段過略(如第一段聚焦“逃生
動作”,第二段聚焦“脫險(xiǎn)互動”,篇幅均衡)。
2.銜接原文:無“斷檔”細(xì)節(jié)如原文“phonebatterydying",范文“Thephonedied”承接;原文“Liamcut
thecamerabagM?范文“cameramemorycard,savedbefbrecullingihebag”呼應(yīng),確?!扒坝袖仧帷⒑笥泻魬?yīng)”。
3.人物一致:始終保持Ethan“沉穩(wěn)主導(dǎo)”、Liam“重視相機(jī)”的人設(shè)——Ethan全程指揮(“Helpmelever
this!”)、保護(hù)兄弟("pulledLiamout");Liam脫險(xiǎn)后第一時(shí)間檢查存儲卡,符合原文“adjustedhiscamerabelt
excitedly,Hlhesitated,5(不舍相機(jī)包)的性格,無“人設(shè)崩塌
五、“四步走”確保續(xù)寫質(zhì)量,可復(fù)制性強(qiáng)
結(jié)合該試題的寫作邏輯,可提煉出通用的“讀后續(xù)寫四步策略”,每一步均有明確操作方法:
1,第一步:讀透原文,抓3條核心線
動筆前需梳理原文的“人物線”“矛盾線”“伏筆線”,避免續(xù)寫偏離:
人物線:Ethan(17歲,沉穩(wěn)、保護(hù)者)vsLiam(15歲,興奮、重視相機(jī));
矛盾線:“遭遇泥石流一躲進(jìn)礦井一被困落石后“,核心矛盾是“如何逃出落石區(qū)”:
伏筆線:Liam的相機(jī)(多次關(guān)及,需在續(xù)寫中交代結(jié)局)、手機(jī)電量(逐漸耗盡,需銜接)。
例如:范文正是抓住“相機(jī)”這一伏筆,讓Liam檢查存儲卡的細(xì)節(jié)更合理,而非憑空新增情節(jié)。
2.第二步:圍繞開頭句,搭“動作/場景”框架
針對每段開頭句,先確定“核心動作(第一段)”或“核心場景(第二段)“,再拆分細(xì)節(jié):
第一段開頭句“攥住斷木”T核心動作:”用斷木撬石逃生”T拆分細(xì)節(jié):塞木―發(fā)力一擴(kuò)縫-脫困一逃離;
笫二段開頭句“坐起身拂泥”一核心場景:“脫險(xiǎn)后恢復(fù)與互動”一拆分細(xì)節(jié):查存儲卡-對話玩笑一看瀑
布一遠(yuǎn)離危險(xiǎn)。
例如:范文未偏離開頭句的“新木拂泥'',所有情節(jié)均圍繞這兩個(gè)起點(diǎn)展開,無“跑題”。
3.第三步;用“小細(xì)節(jié)”讓情節(jié)“落地”
避免“空泛敘事”,加入“生理反應(yīng)、環(huán)境互動”等小細(xì)節(jié):
生理反應(yīng):“gaspingforair”(逃生后喘氣)、“smiledweakly”(疲憊微笑),讓人物更“有血有肉”;
環(huán)境互動:"stumbledupadryslope”(踉蹌走在干坡上,體現(xiàn)地形)、“waterfallnowglintinginthesun”
(瀑布反光,體現(xiàn)天氣轉(zhuǎn)晴),讓場景更“真實(shí)可觸
例如:若只寫“theygotoutandleft”,則情節(jié)空洞:范文加入“gasping""stumbled”等細(xì)節(jié),讓逃生更具“畫
面感”。
4,第四步:情感收尾,呼應(yīng)主題
結(jié)尾需通過“人物互動+環(huán)境烘托''升華情感,而非生硬總結(jié):
人物互動:兄弟間的玩笑("Nexttime,let'spickasaferhikcn)^動作(“clappedhisshoulder”),體現(xiàn)兄
弟情;
環(huán)境烘托:“canyon'sroarfaded”“relievedbreaths",用環(huán)境平靜呼應(yīng)人物情緒放松,讓主題(歷險(xiǎn)中的
勇氣與親情)自然落地。
例如:范文未直接寫“theylovedeachother",而是通過調(diào)侃和呼吸聲,讓情感更含蓄、更動人。
y實(shí)戰(zhàn)演煉
1.(25-26高三上?浙江?開學(xué)考試)閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇
完整的短文。
Bearwasnotabear.ShewasabigdogonthePerkinses'familyfann,awoollycreaturewithfloppyearsand
pawslikebedroomslippers.Sheprotectedtheducksandchickensfrombeingeatenbyfoxesandraccoons(浣熊).
Sheguardedthechildrenaswell,watchingoverthemascloselyasshedidthechickensandducks.Inwinter
(hedogranalongside(hechildrenastheysledded(滑雪橇)downsnowyhills.Insummersheswamwiththemina
nearbyriver.
Bearbelongedtoabreed(品種)thathadlongbeenusedbyAtlanticfishermentohelpwiththeirwork,andit
hadakeeninstinctforwaterrescue.Whenthechildrenwereintheriver,thedogwouldswimincirclesaround
(hem,barkingwhenshefelttheywen(outtoofar.Shewastheperfectfarmdog-companion,guardian,protector.
Thedog'sfavoriteamongthethreechildrenwasthree-year-oldlittleMike.Theyoftencurleduptogether.
SometimesBearwoulddozewhileMikepretendedtoreadtoher.Oftenbothweresoundasleep,atangleofdark
fur,blondhair,smallhandsandhugepaws.Atbedtime,MikesavedhislasthugfbrBear,his“bestfiiend,\
Onacoldwinterday,whentheirparentswentouttosendaparcel,eight-year-oldMartha,seven-year-old
SaraandMike,wenttoslideonthefrozenpondoftheirfarm.Shoutinghappily,theyslidbackandforth,their
bootsglidingeasilyacrosstheice.TheylaughedastheywatchedBear'sattemptstostopsuddenly,whichwould
insteadsendherskiddingbeyondthem.Then,tired,thethreesaldownontheice,withBearbesidethem.Suddenly
theicegavewayundertheircombinedweight.
AsBearjumpedforshore,thethreechildrenfellintothefreezingcoldwater.Screaming,MarthaandSarah
struggledtofindfootingonrocksunderwater.Branchesfromatreenearbyprovidedhandholds,andusingeverybit
oftheirstrength,thetwogirlspulledthemselvestoshore.
注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;
2.請按如下格式在答題卷的相應(yīng)位置作答。
Paragraph1:Lookingback,theysawlittleMikeholdingontoabrokenchunk1人塊)ofice,unabletocrawlonto
it.
Paragraph2:Seeingthat,Bearletoutaseriesofwoofsandjumpedintothewater,headingstraightforMike.
2.(2025?河南?模擬預(yù)測)閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短
文。
Underaflatwinterlight,fourwomenrodetheirbicyclesinnorthernColorado'sRooseveltNationalForest.
Theyarccompetitivecyclistswhoknowtheroutewell.MostofthemrideforateamcalledRecycledCycles
Racing,basedoutofSeattle.Astheymadetheirwayalongawidesectionofthepath.Wolfledtheway,Williams
rodealoneinthemiddle,andBergereandTietzbroughtuptherear(殿后).
Suddenly,Tietzsawtwolargeanimalsemergefrom(hewoodsofftotherightjustafterBergerepassed.She
didn'tseeclearly,socouldn'tidentifywhatthetwoanimalswere.
Nosoonerhadtheyidentifiedtheanimalsthantheterriblethinghappened.Thefirstoneranquicklyacross
thepathinfrontofBergere,andthenrushedtotheleftanddisappeared.Thesecondfollowed,butinthelastinstant
itstopped.ItmighthavebeendistractedbythemovementofBergere'sbicycle,jumpedatBergere'sback,and
pulledhertothegroundwithteethandclaws(爪子).Tietzletoutascaryscream,t4Ohmy,theyarecougars(美洲
獅)”
Wolfturnedaroundquickly.Herfirstreactionwastoputasmuchdistanceaspossiblebetweenherselfand
thescaryanimal.Butquickly,shepusheddownherfearandrushedtohelpBergere.Williamsandotherfriendsall
cametohelp.TheypulledtheanimalawayfromBergere'sneck.
“Call911,“yelledWolf.Tietzimmediatelycalledbuttherewasnoresponse.For15minutes,thewomen
werehitting,kicking,punching,andscreaming.Finally,thecougarreleasedBergere,anditmightturnonanyorall
ofthem.Bergerestretchedout,andshewastiredandinjured—butbreathingandawake.UHELLO?THISIS911.
STATEYOUREMERGENCY.^^Thevoiceofthe911callcentercamethroughTietz'sphone,whichwaslyingon
theground.
注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;
2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。
Whenseeinganothercyclistridingtowardthem,thewomenrealizeditwastheirteammateCaswell.
Bergerespentfivedaysinthehospital.
3.(2025?安徽?三模)閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。
AfterHurricaneMiltonhitFlorida'sGulfCoasthard,theCoastGuardhelicopterteamhadatoughjob:find
amissingboatcaptainfloatinginthehugeocean.Alltheyknewwasthathehadonaredlifejacket,ablackshirt,
andblackpants.Itseemedreallyhardtofindhim,buttheykeptsearching,watchingtheroughwatersbelow.
Themissingcaptain,Mike,hadbeenaboardafishingboatcalledthe"Capi.Davc,\tryingtobringitbackto
portaftermakingrepairsearlyonWednesday.Sadly,theboat'senginestoppedworking,andastheafternoonwent
by,thestormgotstronger.Withstrongwindscomingat2p.m.andHurricaneMiltongettingevenmorepowerful,
thingsgotreallybad.TheCoastGuardcalledMikeontheradioandtoldhimtoputonhislifejacketandstaywith
theboat'semergencysignaldevice.Theylasttalkedat6:45p.m.,justafewhoursbeforethehurricanereachedthe
land.
Alonein(hewildsea,Mikeheldon(oacooler,theonlythingkeepinghimsteadyinthebigwaves.Asthe
hoursdraggedon,Mike'sarmsachedunbearablyfromtheconstantstrainofclingingtothecooler.Thewindblew
loudly,andhugewaveshitaroundhim.buthislifejacketkepthimfromsinking.Allthroughthelongnight,he
facedthestorm'sanger,checkingtheemergencysignalinhispocketnowandthen,hopingfbrhelp.
WhenthesuncameuponThursday,thehelicopterteamwasstartingtolosehopeafterlookingforhours
withoutsuccess.Butthen,aweaksignalshowedontheirfindingequipment.Theirheartsbeatingfast,they
followed(hesignal,eyeslockedonthewater.Suddenly,theysawsomethingmovinginthewaves.Astheygot
closer,theysawtwoarmswavingwildly—itwasMike,stillholding(hecoolertightly.Thehelicopterquickly
loweredarescueswimmerintothewater.
注意:
1.繪寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右:
2.請按如卜格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。
TherescueswimmerswamtowardsMikea*fastashecould.
Atthehospital,Mike'sfamilypacedoutsidetheemergencyroom.
4.(2025?河北秦皇島?三模)閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的
短文。
Thestonncloudsgatheredfasterthanweexpected.MyclimbingpartnerJakeandIwerehalfvvayupEagle's
Peakwhenthefirsthailstones(冰雹)struckourhelmetslikebullets.Ourgloved(戴手套的)handsgrippedtothe
wetrockfaceas(hewindtriedtoblowusoff(hemountain.
“Climbdown!Now!^^Jakeshoutedoverth
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