1、一Big Head“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”“Dont listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”“Wheres the shopping bag?”“I havent got one,use your hat.”大腦袋“所有的孩子都

2、拿我開玩笑，”小男孩哭著跟媽媽說：“他們說我長了一個(gè)大腦袋?！薄皠e聽他們的，”他媽媽安慰說：“你的腦袋長得很漂亮。好了，別哭了，去商店買10磅土豆來?！薄百徫锎谀模俊薄拔覜]有購物袋，就用你的帽子吧?！?二小狗不認(rèn)識(shí)字Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!Mrs. Brown: Its no use, my little dog cant read.翻譯：布朗夫人：哦，親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟

3、了!史密布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認(rèn)識(shí)字。斯夫人：可是你該在報(bào)紙上登廣告啊!三四顆金牙Policeman: Why didnt you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?Man: If I had opened my mouth, theyd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.警察：有人搶你的手表時(shí)，你為什么不呼救呢?男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了四上帝肯定有電腦A mother was teaching her 5-y

4、ear-old son about God.Do you know, she said to him one day, that God knows where everybody is all the time, and exactly what they are doing.The little boy looked at his mother wide-eyed and said, Wow. He must have a computer.五一個(gè)好孩子 Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with t

5、he money I gave you yesterday?I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered.Youre a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?She is the one who sells the candy.小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。“昨天給你的錢干什么了?”“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那

6、位老太太那么感興趣呢?”“她是個(gè)賣糖果的?！绷鵐other: Freddie, why is your face so red? Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight. Mother: Thats a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting? Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith. 媽媽:弗雷迪,你的臉為什么那么紅? 弗雷迪:我剛才在大街上跑,為的是阻止一次打架? 媽媽:你做的對,誰和誰在打架. 弗雷迪:我和杰克史密斯.七4 - 4 = ？One day, the t

7、eacher inquired of Peter: How much is four minus four? Peter was tongue-tied. The teacher got angry and said: What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what is left in your pocket? The hole, replied Peter.四減四等于幾？一天， 老師問

8、彼得：“4減4等于幾？”彼得張口結(jié)舌答不上來。老師生氣地說：“真笨！你想，我要是往你口袋里放四個(gè)硬幣，而你的口袋上有個(gè)窟窿，硬幣全漏掉了，那么，你衣袋里還剩下什么？”“窟窿，”彼得答八Who Is the Laziest?誰最懶?Who Is the Laziest?Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?Tom: I dont know, father.Father: Oh, y

9、es, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?Tom: Our teacher, father.誰最懶?父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過，現(xiàn)在我想問你個(gè)問題。你們班上誰最懶？湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。父親：啊，不對，你知道！想想看，當(dāng)別的孩子們都在做作業(yè)，寫字時(shí)，誰在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課？湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。NOTEwatch一般用于看連續(xù)的過程，而look一般看一個(gè)畫面九一

10、段很帥的英語對話昨天來了個(gè)老外，進(jìn)到辦公室，前臺(tái)小姐左看右看，大家都在打游戲，只有自己比較清閑，就面帶微笑的：“hello?”老外：“hi.” 前臺(tái)小姐：“you have what thing?” 老外：“can you speak english?” 前臺(tái)小姐：“if i not speak english, i am speaking what?” 老外：“can anybody else speak english? ”前臺(tái)小姐：“you yourself look. all people are playing,no people have time, you can wait, y

11、ou wait, you not wait, you go.”老外：“good heavens. anybody here can speak english?”前臺(tái)小姐：“ shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing.”老外：“i want to speak to your head.”前臺(tái)小姐：“head not zai.you tomorrow come.”十英語幽默:多少只兔子？How Many Rabbits?Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how man