考點38讀后續(xù)寫03動作描寫突破（原卷版）【命題解讀】讀后續(xù)寫的寫作過程中，成功的動作描寫，可以交代人物的身份、地位，可以反映人物心理活動的進程，可以表現(xiàn)人物的性格特征。相反，空洞、籠統(tǒng)的描寫會使內容缺乏生動性，使人物形象不豐滿。人物的動作或簡單，或復雜，都不是一下子就能完成的，細心觀察都能捕捉到最能體現(xiàn)人物特征的慢鏡頭。因此，在描寫動作時，同學們要學會細化動作，把動作過程分解成一連串細微的動作，形成動作鏈，寫出動作的連貫性，這樣才能使描寫具有畫面感，使人物更立體。【思維導圖】動作鏈的重要性讀后續(xù)寫作文中動作描寫沒有頭緒？不知道如何下手？不如拆解動作，構造動作鏈，讓你的動作描寫既豐富又精彩！舉個例子，何為構造動作鏈？我們先看一句高考樣題范文。He

stopped

thetaxi,

jumped

inwiththesuitcaseand

told

thedriver,“Gotothepolicestation,please.”這句話的意思是：他攔下了車，拿著箱子跳進了車里，然后對司機說，“請到警察局去?！?/p>

其實，這句話只是描寫了“上車”的動作，然而通過拆解，細致地展現(xiàn)了一個動作下的組成部分。其本質是避免簡單粗暴的使用一個動詞概括整個動作，而是用2-3個動詞組合進行描述。用一個公式進行總結以上例句，如下:

上車=攔車+上車+告訴目的地再比如2017年高考真題中的一個優(yōu)秀范文句子。Shewould

getoff

thecarexcitedly,

laughing

and

dancing

around.這句話的意思是：她會興奮地下車，又笑又跳。這句講的是一個比較粗線條的媽媽，動作描寫完整地描述了這位媽媽下車時及下車后的表現(xiàn)，即：下車=下車+笑+跳

這個訓練過程，需要我們仔細觀察，結合一丟丟的語文功底，并進行合理聯(lián)想，并多多積累動詞。同時，這也為我們提供了兩種構造動作鏈條的句式：1.A,BandC（連詞連接動詞們）2.使用非謂語A,BandC結構我們先看一下“A,BandC結構”。下面我用三個句子來說明這個結構，每個例子我將停頓三秒鐘，正在聽這個課程的你，你可以抓住這寶貴的三秒鐘，快速思考，如果是自己來寫，會怎么寫？如果剛開始覺得有困難，可以先想中文思路。第一句：“男孩們跳入湖中嬉戲”想一想：跳入湖中，這個動作前面或后面會有哪些動作？跳入湖里嬉戲=

沖向湖邊

+

脫掉衣服

+

跳入水中

Theboys

rushed

excitedlytothelake,

tookoff

theirclothesand

jumpedinto

thewater.（孩子們興奮地沖到湖邊，脫下衣服，跳進了水里。）第二句，“她抱住兒子”（停頓三秒鐘）想一想：抱住兒子，這個動作前面或后面會有哪些動作？

抱住兒子=

沖向前

+

蹲下

+

一把抱住She

dashed

forward,

kneltdown

and

gathered

herson

into

herarms.（她向前沖過去，跪下來，把兒子抱在懷里。）第三句，“這個歌手唱歌”想一想：歌手唱歌，這個動作前面或后面會有哪些動作？

歌手唱歌=

掃視觀眾+

深吸一口氣+開始演唱

Thesinger

glancedat

theaudience,

took

adeepbreathandbeganto

sing.（歌手瞥了看觀眾，深吸了一口氣，開始唱歌。使用非謂語下面仍然用三種方式和三個句子來說明這種描寫動作的句子結構，每個例子我仍然停頓三秒鐘。第一種句子模式：-ing現(xiàn)在分詞,凸顯同一對象同時發(fā)生不同的動作。第1個例句，“老人靜坐”想一想：老人靜坐，這個動作前面或后面會有哪些動作？（停頓三秒鐘）好！我來公布參考答案。

老人靜坐=坐在夕陽下+

看報紙+

聽廣播Theoldmansatunderthesunset,

reading

thenewspaperand

listening

totheradio.第二種句子模式：havingdone表現(xiàn)動作先后關系第2個例句，“沒有買到票”想一想：“買票”這個動作前面或后面會有哪些動作？

沒有買到票=

排了很久隊+

被告知票賣完了

Havingqueued

for3hours,he

wastold

thatthetickethadbeensoldout.

第三種句子模式.-ed過去分詞凸顯被動

第3個例句，“孩子們哭了”

想一想：“哭”這個動作前面或后面會有哪些動作？或者因為什么原因讓孩子哭感動哭了=被感動+哭了Deeplymoved

bythestory,thechildrenbeganto

cry.【模擬題1】（2022·廣東深圳·一模）閱讀下面材料，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。LastMarch,Margaritodrovetovisithismotherwholivedinthecountryside.Whenhesetoffforhome,Margarito’smotherlookedatthedarkskyandnoticedthesignofaingstorm.Worriedaboutherson’ssafety,shetoldhimtodriveascarefullyaspossibleonhiswayhomeandhepromisedtogiveheracalluponhisarrival.Withhismother’swordsinmind,Margaritoapproachedthemainroadcarefully.Soon,itstartedtorainheavily.Eagertogethome,Margaritobegantodrivefaster.Twohourslater,hecametoabumpymountainroadthathadbeenfloodedbyacreek(小溪).Margarito,drivingafour-wheeldrivetruck,figuredthathewouldbeOK.Atthatmoment,hedidn’trealizethatsuchathoughtwouldbeabigmistake.Itwashalfwayacrossthecreekthatanunfortunateincidenttookplace:Therushingwatersgrabbedholdofhisvehicle,pushingitofftheroadandsendingitdownarockycreekbed.Thetruckfinallystoppedsome80feetaway.Margarito’sproblemsonlygrewfromthereasthewaterhadsomehowpositionedthetruckintothecreekbankata45-degreeangle,makingitdifficultforhimtoopenthedriver’ssidedoor.Injuredandtrappedinsidewiththemuddywaterrisingquickly,Margaritowascertainhewasgoingtodie.Shakingwithfear,hewasatalossaboutwhattodo.OntheroadrightbehindMargaritowereadeliveryworkernamedSteveandhisnephewMike,whowereonthewaytodeliverfurnituretocustomersinthecountryside.Theywitnessedthehorribleincident,andwhenMargarito’struckcametorestinthemiddleoftheoverflowingcreek,Stevequicklybegantotakeaction.First,hegrabbedaropefromthebackofhisvehicleandusedittoensurehecouldsafelyapproachthetruck.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數應為150左右；2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Next,heturnedtoMikeandyelled,“Givemearock!”_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________MargaritowasabouttothankSteveandMikewhenthemobilephoneinhisjacketpocketrang._________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【模擬題2】（2022·山東臨沂·一模）閱讀下面材料，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。AsanurseatthecancercarecenterwhereI’veworkedforsevenyears,I’lldoalmostanythingtomakeapatientfeelbetter.ButwhenImetPattyatthecenter,in2011,shedidn’twantmyhelp.Shewasatiny44-year-oldsinglemombattlinganaggressiveheadandneckcancer.Unlikemanyofourotherpatients,Pattywasaloneduringhertreatment,butnomatterwhatIdid.Icouldn'tgethertoopenup.Shejustburiedherselfinbookorpulledablanketoverherheadtofendoffconversation.EventuallyIhitonareliablewaytomakePattysmile:mentioninghernine-year-oldson,Stephen.She'dtellmehowwellhedidinschool,howhe'dbeenselectedtoreadapoemhewroteatalocalbookstore.Shedesperatelywantedtoliveforhim.Withthreekidsmyself,Itotallyunderstoodhowshefelt.Afterayearandahalfoftreatment,inAugust2012,Pattywastoldhercancerhadspread,andIlearnedshewouldn'tlivemuchlonger.Myfirstthoughtwas,“What'sgoingtohappentoStephen?”Nursesatthecentersharedstoriesattheirmeetingsabouthowbrightandunusualtheboywas.butnooneseemedtoknowhowtoresolvetheissueofwhatwouldhappentohimwhenhismomdied.Myhusband,Michael,whotooworksatthecenter,startedhearingaboutPattyandStephen.OnemorninginOctober,Pattyquietlyslippedaway.MichaelandIpickedStephenupafterschool,drovehimtoanearbypark,andsatonabenchbyapond.Ifinallymanagedtosay,“Stephen,we'resorrytohavetotellyouthis,butyourmomcametoanendthismorning.”ThesoundthatcameoutofhismouthwaslikenothingI'deverheardbefore.Thisskinnylittleguysatbetweenthetwoofusandjustwailed(哀號)andwailed.Itwasasifhiswholeworldwasjustdestroyed.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數應為150左右；2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Somethinginsidemewastellingmewhattodo._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Finally,wetookhimhomewithus._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【模擬題3】（2022·江蘇南通·一模）閱讀下面材料，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。Thankyou,Ma’amJustanactofkindnesschangedaboy’slifeforever.Shewasalargewomanwithalargepursethathadeverythinginitbutahammerandnails.Ithadalongstrap,andshecarrieditacrosshershoulder.Itwasabouteleveno’clockatnight,darkandshewaswalkingalong,whenaboyranupbehindherandtriedtoseizeherpurse.Buttheboy’sweightandtheweightofthepursebinedcausedhimtolosehisbalance.Hefellonhisbackonthesidewalkandhislegsflewup.Thelargewomansimplyturnedaround,reacheddown,pickedtheboyupbyhisshirtfront,andshookhimuntilhisteethrattled（發(fā)出格格聲）.Afterthatthewomansaid,“Pickupmypocketbook,boy,andgiveithere.”Shestillheldhimtightly.Butshebentdownenoughtopermithimtopickupherpurse.Thenshesaid,“Nowain’tyouashamedofyourself?”Bythattimetwoorthreepeoplepassed,stopped,turnedtolook,andsomestoodwatching.Shedidnotreleasehim.“Lady,I’msorry,”whisperedtheboy.“Um-hum!Yourfaceisdirty.Ain’tyougotanybodyhometotellyoutowashyourface?”“No’m”saidtheboy.“Thenitwillgetwashedthisevening,”saidthelargewoman,startingupthestreet,draggingthefrightenedboybehindher.Helookedasifhewerefourteenorfifteenintennisshoesandbluejeans.Thewomansaid,“Yououghttobemyson.Iwouldteachyourightfromwrong.LeastIcandorightnowistowashyourface.Areyouhungry?”“No’m,”saidthebeing-draggedboy.“Ijustwantyoutoturnmeloose.”Butthewomancontinuedtodraghimupthestreet.Whenshegottoherdoor,shedraggedtheboyinside.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數應為150左右；2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答?！癎otothatsinkandwashyourface,”saidthewomen._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Whentheyhadfinishedeating,shegotupandtookouttendollarsfromthepurse.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【模擬題4】（2022·廣東光明·二模）閱讀下面材料，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。TheNunes’sfamilylivedinafriendlymunitynearthewoods.ItwasanormalWednesdayafternoonMomAraceliNunesreturnedhomefromsellingfoodanddrinksalongtheroadsideinPlantersville,Texas.Herbusinesshadbeenfairlyprofitableandshewashappytoseeherhusbandpreparingdinnerinthekitchenandher3-year-oldson,ChristopherRamirez,playingintheyard.However,whensheturnedtounloadhercar,shedidn’tnoticethekidfollowedaneighbor’sdogintothewoods.Whentheycouldn’tfindChristopher,thepanickyfamilycalledforhelp,andwithinafewhours,48differentagenciesarrivedtobthroughtheareaaroundtheirhome.TheirentiremunitystartedtohelpfindChristopher.Somewalkedintotheforestandothersdrovefartheraway.Afterdayswithnosignofthekid,rescuersfearedtheworst,butAracelineverstoppedhopingforherson’ssafereturn.Atlonglast,afterfourlongdaysandnights,thesheriffreceivedaphonecallfromamannamedTimHalfin.TimHalfin’shousewasaboutthreemilesaway.Hehadheardofthemissingboywhenhereturnedhomefromabusinesstrip.Hedidn'tthinkathree-year-oldcouldwalkthatfartowherehelived.However,asalltheprevioussearchingeffortswereinvain,hedecidedtotryhisluckaroundhisownhouse.Notlongafterhewentoutintothewoods,hewassurprisedbywhatcameintohissight.TherewasChristopher!Asidefrombeingdehydratedandveryhungry,thekidwaspletelyunharmed.Hewasfoundoutsidetherangewhereauthoritieswerelookingforhim,soit’sprettyamazingthatTimdiscoveredhim.注意：1.續(xù)寫的詞數應為150左右；2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。WhenTimpickedhimup,thekidwasstillconscious._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ChristopherspenttwodaysrecoveringatTexasChildren’sHospitalbeforehewastakenhome._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【模擬題5】（2022·福建漳州·二模）閱讀下面材料，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。TeenBeesALocalHeroWhenSydneyRaleyheadedintoherweekendshiftonSaturday,December18,shelikelyexpectedtodomoreofthesame:Standatthedrive-throughwindow,takeordersovertheheadset,andhandeachcustomertheirmealwithasmile.Infact.that’sexactlyhowitstarted.SydneyRaleyhasbeenworkingatMCDonald’sforaboutsevenmonthsandsofar,it’sbeenhertypicalafter-schooljob.Thedayhadbeenmostlynormal-makingcoffee,makingdrinks,andgoingintothelunchrush.Butafewhoursintohershift.thingstookadramaticturn.Afterhandingacustomersomeoftheirfood,Sydneyletthemknowthatmorewouldbeingassoonasitwasready.Butjustsecondslater,shenoticedaterriblelookofpanicspreadacrossthewoman’sface.Thencamethecoughing.Shewascoughinglikecrazyandwasspeechless.Herdaughterwasinthepassengerseatandlookedextremelyconfusedandfrightened.Sydneyimmediatelyknewshewaschoking.ThefirstaidtrainingSydneyreceivedmorethanfouryearsagohither.Most15-year-oldsmightpanicatthesightofthis.ButnotSydney.Instead,theteenremainedcalmandquicklyshoutedtobothhermanagerandthewoman’sdaughtertodial911.Then,shedovethroughthedrive-throughwindowandcametotherescue.Theteenpushedthedriver’ssidedoorforcefullyopenandgotthechokingwomantoherfeet.ThenshedugdowndeepintohermemorybanktorecalleverythingshelearnedfromherRedCrossbabysitterclass-whichshe’dtakenfouryearsearlier.AllthattrainingofhowtousetheHeimlichmaneuver(哈姆立克急教法)immediatelykickedin.Still,shehadneveractuallyhadtousethelife-savingtechniquebefore,andafterafewtries,itwasn’tquiteworking.Luckily,anothercustomerwasjustafewfeetawayintheparkinglot.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數應為150左右；2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Sheshoutedtothatmanforassistance._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Thestoryhasmadeheadlinesthroughoutthecountry._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【模擬題6】（2022·廣東·執(zhí)信模擬預測）閱讀下面短文，根據所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫，使之構成一個完整的故事。IlovetoplaythepianoandIgreatlyenjoyperformingmysongs,sowhentheannualwinterrecitalwascanceled,Iwasdisappointed.Ihadlookedforwardtoitforalongtimeandhadalreadypreparedtwoofmybestsongs.Mymomhadawonderfulidea,however,toturnthisdisappointingletdownintosomethingworthwhile.“YoucanperformyoursongsatCarriageHouseSeniorLiving,”mymomsuggestedbrightly.“I’msuretheseniorstherewhodonothavefamiliesvisitthemthatoften,wouldreallyappreciatethemusicandyoucouldplaymorethanjusttwosongs.”Iimmediatelythoughtthiswasagreatidea.OneofthethingsIdidnotlikeabouttherecitalswasthatIwaslimitedtoplayingjustacoupleofsongs.PlayingthepianoatCarriageHouseseemedlikeawin-winsituationbecausenotonlywouldIgettoplaymoresongs,butIwouldalsohavethechancetocheeruptheresidents