高考英語(yǔ)讀后續(xù)寫語(yǔ)篇練習(xí)救人故事——鐵軌救嬰兒1題目分析讀后續(xù)寫題目再現(xiàn)范文呈現(xiàn)努力方向2Part1題目呈現(xiàn)3續(xù)寫原文Itwas7a.m.on12May1998.Mohrhadalreadyscannedseveralpackageslistingdangerousmaterialsaboardthetrain.Thepresenceofgaswouldmeantakingextraprecautionwhenbrakingthe6,200-tontrain.Withexplosivegasonboard,itwouldbedisastrousifthetraincameoffthetrack.Afterafinalinspection,Mohrjumpedaboard.Hewasheadingeast,intoasunthatpromisedabeautifuldayfortheir276-kmruntoPeru,Indiana.Ataroundnoonthatday,Marshallpreparedtotacklesomeyardwork.Itwasabeautifuldayforit,shethought,gazingpastthehousesacrossthestreet.Some45metersaway,railroadtracksshoneinthesun.Marshallbeganworkinginapatch(地塊）ofsoil.Sittingnexttoher,cheerfullyrunningherhandsthroughdirt,washer19-month-olddaughter,Emily.Forawhile,shekeptturningtocheckonEmily,whoplayedcloseathand.Eventually,though,Marshall'sabsorptioninherworkbecametotal.MohrapproachedthetownwhereMarshalllivedatabout1:45p.m.andslowedthetraintothe40-kmphspeedlimit.Heactivatedtheflashinglightsandwarningbell.Mohrhadbeenthroughthetownhundredsoftimes,buthegrewextracautiousroundingthefirstcurve.4續(xù)寫原文Asthetraincameoutofthecurve,Mohrnoticedasmalldotonthetrackabout200metersahead.Hethoughtitmightbeadog.Althoughitwasagainsttherulestodosointhetown,hebeganlightlytappinghishorn."Comeon,puppy,move,"heurged.Thetoots(嘟嘟響）ofatrainwhistlestartled(使受驚嚇）Marshallfromheryardwork.That'sodd,shethought.Theydon'tusuallyblowthewhistlethroughtown.Sheglancedovertocheckherdaughter,andherheartskipped.Emilywasnowhereinsight.Now,asthetrainapproachedwithin100metersoftheobjectontherail,Mohrnarrowedhiseyes,tryingtomakeoutwhatexactlywaslyingahead.Thenshockranthroughhimlikeelectriccurrent.5段首句Paragraph1："MyGod!"heyelledasatinyfaceturnedtowardshim.“It'sababy!"Paragraph2：Fromthatdayon,Iwasdeterminedtomakemydreamcometrue.6Part2題目分析7點(diǎn)1：位于續(xù)寫第一段段首，流暢銜接前面的記敘文和第一段段首語(yǔ)；點(diǎn)2：位于續(xù)寫第一段段尾，流暢銜接第二段段首句；點(diǎn)3：位于續(xù)寫第二段段首，續(xù)寫銜接第二段段首語(yǔ)；點(diǎn)4：文章結(jié)尾升華，給予讀者正能量，揭示和強(qiáng)調(diào)主題。情節(jié)構(gòu)建的重點(diǎn)8續(xù)寫思路分析本文以人物為線索展開(kāi)，講述了火車司機(jī)Mohr，在一次駕駛火車全速前進(jìn)時(shí)，他注意到遠(yuǎn)處的鐵軌上有個(gè)黑點(diǎn)，他以為是一條狗，后來(lái)證實(shí)這個(gè)黑點(diǎn)是一個(gè)嬰兒。他要在保證火車安全的情況下，救下這個(gè)嬰兒。9續(xù)寫思路分析Para1："MyGod!"heyelledasatinyfaceturnedtowardshim.“It'sababy!“由第一段首句內(nèi)容“我的上帝!”當(dāng)一張小臉轉(zhuǎn)向他時(shí)，他大叫起來(lái)?！笆莻€(gè)嬰兒！”，可知，第一段可描寫火車司機(jī)Mohr的心理感受及其采取的措施，同時(shí)可以描寫嬰兒媽媽Mashall的現(xiàn)場(chǎng)反應(yīng)。10續(xù)寫思路分析Para2：Thechildwasnowjust36metersahead.由第二段首句內(nèi)容“這時(shí)火車距離嬰兒只有36米了?！笨芍?，第二段可描寫火車司機(jī)Mohr努力減速火車直至火車停下，然后救嬰兒，最終嬰兒平安得救。11續(xù)寫思路分析續(xù)寫線索看見(jiàn)嬰兒——決定剎車——跳車救孩子——孩子得救12續(xù)寫素材可用詞匯：行為類①.做決定：makeadecision/makeuphismind/keepinmindthat②.剎車：pullthebrake/stopthetrainwitheffort③.救孩子：savethechild/rescuethechild/savethebaby'slife情緒類焦急：anxious/haveone'sheartinone'smouth13續(xù)寫素材可用句型：[高分句型1].Mohrhadaninstantdecisiontomake,applyingfullemergencybrakeswithhalfthetrainstillwrappedaroundacurve.（applying...為現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語(yǔ)）[高分句型2].Hardashetry,thetrainkeptmovingjustasacatsawafish,whoseenticingsmellattractedthecattoapproachthebaby.（as引導(dǎo)的讓步狀語(yǔ)從句，whose之后為非限制性定語(yǔ)從句）14Part3范文呈現(xiàn)15范文呈現(xiàn)"MyGod!"heyelledasatinyfaceturnedtowardshim.“It'sababy!"Mohrhadaninstantdecisiontomake,applyingfullemergencybrakeswithhalfthetrainstillwrappedaroundacurve.Hehadtoriskanemergencystop.Hardashetry,thetrainkeptmovingjustasacatsawafish,whoseenticingsmellattractedthecattoapproachthebaby.Meanwhile,Marshallrushedtowardsherdaughter,nervousbutdesperate,fearingthetrainwouldrunintoherbeloved.16范文呈現(xiàn)Thechildwasnowjust36metersahead.Mohrpulledthebrakewithhiswholeefforts.Thesoundofwheelsgrindingagainsttherailsrangthroughthesky.Thesituationwasquitedangerous.Asthetrainwasalmoststopped,heimmediatelyopenedtheleftdooroftheenginecabquicklyandswiftlyjumpedfromthemovingtrainandranbacktothechild.Shelaycryingbythetracks.AgreatreliefsweepingoverMohr,heliftedherfromthedirthurriedly.ItwasonlythenthatMohrnoticedthetrainhadstoppedandMarshallwasjustcomingtoherbaby.Withthebabyinhisarms,Mohrbegantowalktowardsthemother.17范文譯文“我的上帝??！”他像一張小臉轉(zhuǎn)向他時(shí)大聲喊道?！斑@是個(gè)嬰兒！”莫爾立即做出了決定，實(shí)施了緊急剎車，一半的火車仍然繞在彎道上。他不得不冒著緊急停車的危險(xiǎn)。在他的努力中，火車?yán)^續(xù)移動(dòng)，就像一只貓看到了一條魚，它誘人的氣味吸引了貓接近嬰兒。與此同時(shí)，馬歇爾沖向緊張但絕望的女兒，擔(dān)心火車會(huì)撞到她的愛(ài)人。18范文譯文這個(gè)孩子現(xiàn)在只有前面36米遠(yuǎn)。莫爾竭盡全力地拉下了剎車。車輪撞擊鐵軌的聲