年級：高中一年級學科：英語課題：讀后續(xù)寫--語言（二）

(2016年10月浙江卷)OneweekendinJuly,

Jane

andherhusband,

Tom,haddriventhreehourstocampovernightbya

lake

intheforest.Unfortunately,onthewayanunpleasantsubjectcameupandtheystartedtoquarrel.Bythetimetheyreachedthelake,JanewassoangrythatshesaidtoTom.“I’mgoingtofindabetterspotforustocamp”and

walked

away.

Withnopathtofollow,Janejustwalkedonforquitealongtime.Aftershehad

climbed

toahighplace,sheturnedaround,hopingtoseethelake.Tohersurprise,shesawnothingbutforestand,farbeyond,asnowcappedmountaintop.Shesuddenlyrealizedthatshewaslost.

“Tom!”shecried.“Help!”Noreply.IfonlyshehadnotlefthermobilephoneinthatbagwithTom.Janekeptmoving,butthefarthershewalked,themoreconfusedshebecame.Asnightwasbeginningtofall,Janewassotiredthatshehadtostopforthenight.Lyingawakeinthedark,JanewantedverymuchtobewithTomandherfamily.Shewantedtoholdhimandtellhimhowmuchshelovedhim.Janeroseatthebreakofday,hungryandthirsty.Shecouldhearwatertrickling(滴落）somewhere

atadistance.Quicklyshefollowedthesoundto

astream.

Tohergreatjoy,shealsosawsomeberrybushes.Shedrankandateafewberries.Neverinherlifehadshetastedanythingbetter.Feelingstrongernow,Janebegantowalkalongthestreamandhopeitwouldleadhertothelake.

Asshepickedherwaycarefullyalongthestream,Janehearda

helicopter.Isthatforme?Unfortunately,thetreesmadeitimpossibleforpeopletoseeherfromabove.Afewminuteslater,anotherhelicopterflewoverhead.Janetookoffher

yellowblouse,thinkingthatsheshouldgotoanopenareaandflagthemiftheycamebackagain.standardsfullscore25，7levels評分檔次描

述（22-25分）

①logicplots②detaileddescription,variedsentencepatterns③properconnections

Onepossibleversion:Paragraph1:

Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.

Jane

hadtostayaloneintheforestforanothercoldnight.Sheloweredherheadinsorrowandtearsrolleddownonhercheeks.Evensomenoisesmadeherfacepale.Slowlyfearcreptuponher,andshehuggedherkneesunderatree.Shethoughtabout

Tom.“Hemusthavecalledforthosehelicopters.Maybehewasinoneofthemandwouldcomebackagain!Ihavetoguidehimtomorrow.”ShefellasleepanddreamedofseeingTom.Paragraph2:

ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.

Sheatesomeberriesandthenwalkedalongthe

stream.Shehopedtofindasuitableplacetoguidethehelicopter.Shesawarockinanopenarea

atadistance.Sherushedtotherock,climbedontoitandwaited.

Shecranedherneck.Thehelicopterappearedagain.Janeflutteredherhands.Itdidn’tmissJaneanditlandedslowly.TomjumpedoffthehelicopterandrantowardsJane.Withtearsstreamingdownherface,

sheburstoutcryingandhookedherarmsaroundTom'sneck...Howmanyscoreswillyougive?Problems:1.Therearealmostnovariedsentencepatterns;2.Therearealmostnoeffectiveconnectors.LearningobjectivesBytheendofthisperiod,we’llbeableto:1.maketheplotsmoremulti-layered(多層次的)byusingnon-predicateverbs;2.enrichthedetailsbymodifyingthenouns.Canyoufeeltheupsanddownsintheplots?

Jane

hadtostayaloneintheforestforanothercoldnight.Sheloweredherheadinsorrowandtearsrolleddownonhercheeks.Evensomenoisesmadeherfacepale.Slowlyfearcreptuponher,andshehuggedherkneesunderatree.Shethoughtabout

Tom.Weonlyfeeltheslowpace,becausetheverbsjusthappenoneafteranother.Basedonvarietiesofdifferentverbs,wecanmakethemmoremulti-layered.1.verbshappenquicklyoneafteranother他為你那事情感到非常遺憾，開始考慮做些什么來幫一下。Hefeltquitesorryforthat.Hebegantothinkaboutwhattodotohelp.Feelingquitesorryforthat,hebegantothinkaboutwhattodotohelp.2.verbshappenalmostatthesametime他自豪的回到家，開心的跳了起來。Hewenthomeproudly.Hejumpedwithjoy.Hewenthomeproudly,jumpingwithjoy.3.verbshappenapparentlybeforetheothers在操練了籃球兩個月過后，我們下定決心要奪得冠軍。Wepractisedplayingbasketballfortwomonths.Wedecidedtobethewinner.Havingpractisedplayingbasketballfortwomonths,wedecidedtobethewinner.4.Withlotsofverbs,judgetheorderandchoosethemainverb她坐在那兒雙手托著下巴，眼睛凝視著小廚房的一角。sit,cup,stareShesatwithherhandscuppingherchin,staringatacornerofthelittlekitchen．4.Withlotsofverbs,judgetheorderandchoosethemainverb她見是書記，松開手，跟著就癱了下來，滾地皮，大哭大叫。see,relax,lie,roll,cryDumbfoundedatseeingthesecretary，sherelaxedherhands，andthenlaydown，rollingonthegroundwithcryandscream．Rewritethepassagewiththenon-predicateverbsParagraph1:Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.

Jane

hadtostayaloneintheforestforanothercoldnight.Sheloweredherheadinsorrow,tearsrolling

downonhercheeks.Evensomenoisesmadeherfacepale.Slowlyfearcreptuponher.Hugging

herkneesunderatree,shethoughtabout

Tom.“Hemusthavecalledforthosehelicopters.Maybehewasinoneofthemandwouldcomebackagain!Ihavetoguidehimtomorrow.”Shefellasleep,

dreaming

ofseeingTom.

Rewritethepassagewithnon-predicateverbsParagraph2:

ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.

Aftereatingsomeberriesandthenwalkingalongthe

stream,shehopedtofindasuitableplacetoguidethehelicopter.Seeingarockinanopenarea

atadistance,sherushedtotherock,climbedontoitandwaited,craningherneck.Thehelicopterappearedagain.Janeflutteredherhands.Itdidn’tmissJaneanditlandedslowly.Jumpingoffthehelicopter,TomrantowardsJane.Withtearsstreamingdownherface,sheburstoutcrying,hooking

herarmsaroundTom'sneck...Wecanstillenrichthedetailsbymodifyingthenouns.1.modifytheantecedentbyaddingfeatures,functions,results...Duringtheholidayseasons,Iliveinthecountryside...Duringtheholidayseasons,Iliveinthecountryside

whereairisfreshandpeoplearefriendly.

Duringtheholidayseasons,Iliveinthecountryside

whichisasuitableplaceforpeopletorelax.featuresfunctionsresultsDuringtheholidayseasons,Iliveinthecountryside,whichisquitedifferentfromwhatIhavethought.1.modifytheantecedentbyaddingfeatures,functions,results...Jane

hadtostayaloneintheforestforanothercoldnight.Jane

hadtostayaloneintheforestwhichwasdenselywoodedandinhabitated(被茂密樹木覆蓋且荒無人煙)

foranothercoldnight.

Jane

hadtostayaloneintheforestwhichseemedlikeahomeonlytoanimalsforanothercoldnight.featuresfunctionsresultsJane

hadtostayaloneintheforestforanothercoldnight,whichwasquiteoutofherexpectation.2.modifytheantecedentbyshapingthecharacters,promotingtheplots...Thenthehelicopterappearedagain.Janeflutteredherhands.Thenthehelicopterappearedagain.Janeflutteredherhands,whichshowedherstrongestdeterminationtocatchtheattention.

Thenthehelicopterappearedagain.Janeflutteredherhands,whichsignaledclearlywhereitshouldland.shapethecharacterspromotetheplotsRewritethepassagewithattributiveclausesParagraph1:Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.

Jane

hadtostayaloneintheforestforanothercoldnight,whichwasquiteoutofherexpectation.Sheloweredherheadinsorrow,tearsrollingdownonhercheeks.Evensomenoisesmadeherfacepale.Slowlyfearcreptuponher.

Huggingherkneesunderatree,shethoughtabout

Tom.“Hemusthavecalledforthosehelicopters.Maybehewasin