1、老友記 第一季 第一集 （中央咖啡廳） 沒什么好說的！他只不過是我的同事 theres nothing to tell. its just some guy i work with. 少來了，和你交往的男人 come on. youre going out with a guy. 多多少少一定有點(diǎn)問題！ theres gotta be something wrong with him. 他既駝背又戴假發(fā)？ so does he have a hump and a hair piece? 等一下，他是不是會吃粉筆？ wait. does he eat chalk? 我只是不希望你 重蹈我和卡爾的

2、覆轍 i dont want her to go through what i went through with carl. oh. 各位放輕松，這不算約會 okay, everybody relax. this is not even a date. 不過是兩個人一起出去吃晚餐 而且不上床 its just two people going out to dinner and not having sex. 對我來說這就是約會 sounds like a date to me. 做了個夢，在中學(xué)時代 我站在餐廳中央 im back in high school, in the middle

3、 of the cafeteria. 突然發(fā)現(xiàn)自己全身赤裸 .and i realize im totally naked. 對，沒錯 我做過那樣的夢 oh, yeah. ive had that dream. 我低頭一看，看見有一個電話 then i look down and i realize there is a phone. 在那里 .there. 而不是 沒錯 instead of. thats right! 我沒做過那樣的夢 沒有 that one, ive never had. no. 突然，那個電話響了 all of a sudden, the phone starts to

4、 ring. 結(jié)果是我媽媽打來的 and it turns out its my mother. 這非常奇怪 因?yàn)樗龔膩矶疾粫螂娫捊o我！ which is very, very weird because she never calls me. 嗨 hi. 這家伙說嗨的時候 我卻想殺了我自己 this guy says hello, i wanna kill myself. 你還好吧，親愛的？ are you okay, sweetie? 我就感覺好像某人伸手進(jìn)我的喉嚨 抓住我的小腸，從我的嘴里拉出來 i feel like someone grabbed my small intestin

5、e, pulled it out of my mouth. 再在我的脖子上打結(jié) 要吃餅干嗎？ .and tied it around my neck. cookie? 卡蘿今天搬走了她的東西 carol moved her stuff out today. 哦 oh. 我給你拿杯咖啡 謝謝 let me get you some coffee. thanks. 呃 ew. unh. 不，不要！ 不要清理我的光環(huán)！ no. no, dont! stop cleansing my aura. 不要管我的光環(huán)，好嗎？ just leave my aura alone, okay? 我會沒事的，好嗎？

6、真的 我希望她開心 ill be fine. all right? really. i hope shell be very happy. 不，你并不希望 是的，我不希望！ no, you dont. no, i dont. 叫她去死，是她離開了我！ to hell with her. she left me! 你從來都不知道她是女同性戀 and you never knew she was a lesbian. 不知道！行了吧！ no! okay? 為什么每個人老是要提出來？ why does everyone keep fixating on that? 她都不知道，我又怎么會知道？ sh

7、e didnt know. how should i know? 有時候我希望我是女同性戀 sometimes i wish i was a lesbian. 我講得很大聲嗎？ did i say that out loud? 沒事的，羅斯 你現(xiàn)在感到很痛苦 all right, ross. look, youre feeling a lot of pain right now. 你很生氣，很傷心 youre angry. youre hurting. 我能告訴你解決方法是什么嗎？ can i tell you what the answer is? 脫衣舞廳！ strip joints! 別

8、這樣，你單身了！有需求的！ come on, youre single. have some hormones. 我不想單身，好嗎？ see, but i dont want to be single, okay? 我只想再次結(jié)婚！ i just wanna be married again. 而我只想要一百萬美金！ and i just want a million dollars! 瑞秋！ rachel? 噢，老天爺，摩妮卡 感謝上帝！ oh, god, monica! hi! thank god! 我剛到你那里去，而你不在 那個拿著大錘子的家伙說 i went to your build

9、ing and this guy with a hammer said. 你可能在這里 你真在這里！ .that you might be here, and you are. 你想喝點(diǎn)咖啡嗎？ 無咖啡因的 can i get you some coffee? decaf. 好了，各位，這位是瑞秋 另一個林肯高中的幸存者 okay, everybody, this is rachel, another lincoln high survivor. 這就是各位 這是錢德、菲比 this is everybody. this is chandler and phoebe. 喬伊，還有 你還記得我哥

10、哥羅斯嗎？ .and joey. and remember my brother, ross? 當(dāng)然，嘿！ 嘿 sure! hey. 嗨 天啊 hi. oh, god. 那你現(xiàn)在可以告訴我們了嗎 還是說我們在等著四位濕漉的伴娘? so you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? 好吧，大概在婚禮前半個小時 oh, god! well, it started about a half-hour before the wedding. 我在禮物間里 i was in this room with all th

11、e presents. 看著那個肉汁壺 .and i was looking at this gravy boat. 那是個非常好看的肉汁壺 this really gorgeous limoges gravy boat. 然后，突然有代糖嗎？ when all of a sudden. sweet n low? 我發(fā)現(xiàn) i realized. 我對這個肉汁壺 比對巴瑞更有沖動！ .i was more turned on by this gravy boat than by barry. 然后我嚇呆了 然后這個想法突然出現(xiàn)在腦中： then i got really freaked out,

12、 and thats when it hit me: 巴瑞看起來多像洋芋頭先生啊 how much barry looks like mr. potato head. 我總是覺得他眼熟，但是 you know, i mean, i always knew he looked familiar, but. 總之 我必須離開那里，我在想： anyway, i just had to get out of there, and i started wondering: 我為什么這樣做，我為誰這樣做？ why am i doing this? and who am i doing this for?

13、我不知道該去哪里 而且我知道我和你有點(diǎn)疏遠(yuǎn)了 anyway, i just didnt know where to go, and i know you and i have drifted apart. 但你是我這個城市里唯一認(rèn)識的人 .but youre the only person i know in the city. 而且沒有受邀參加你的婚禮 who wasnt invited to the wedding. 噢，我希望你不會把它當(dāng)一回事 oh, i was kind of hoping that wouldnt be an issue. 我猜他給她買了個管風(fēng)琴 im guessi

14、ng he bought her the big pipe organ. 而她很不喜歡那個 .and shes really not happy about it. 老爸，我就是無法和他結(jié)婚 daddy, i just. i cant marry him. 對不起 im sorry. 我只是不愛他了 i just dont love him. 這對我很有關(guān)系！ well, it matters to me. 她真不應(yīng)該穿那條褲子 she should not be wearing those pants. 我覺得應(yīng)該把她推下樓 i say push her down the stairs. 把

15、她推下樓 push her down the stairs! push her down the stairs! 爸爸，聽我說！ come on, daddy, listen to me! 這就好像在我一生中 所有人都告訴我：你是鞋子！ its like all of my life, everyones always told me, youre a shoe! 你是鞋子 youre a shoe! youre a shoe! youre a shoe! 然后今天，我停下來對自己說： 如果我不想成為鞋子呢？ then today i stopped and said, what if i d

16、ont wanna be a shoe? 如果我想成為一個包包？ what if i wanna be a purse? you know? 或一頂帽子？ or a hat? 不，我不是要你給我買帽子 我是說我是帽子 i dont want you to buy me a hat, i am a hat. 這是個比喻，爸爸！ its a metaphor, daddy! 你看得出他哪里聽不懂 you can see where hed have trouble. 爸爸，這是我的生活 look, daddy, its my life. 也許我可以和摩妮卡住在一起 well, maybe ill

17、just stay here with monica. 我猜我們已經(jīng)確定 她要和摩妮卡住在一起了 i guess weve established shes staying with monica. 也許那是我的決定 well, maybe thats my decision. 也許我不需要你的錢 well, maybe i dont need your money. 等等！我說也許！ wait! wait! i said maybe! 呼吸，呼吸 好，就這樣 okay. just breathe, thats it. 試著想一些讓你鎮(zhèn)定的事 just try to think of nice

18、, calm things. 玫瑰上的雨滴，還有貓的胡須 raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens 門鈴和雪橇鈴，還有手套 doorbells and sleigh bells and something with mittens 啦啦啦，還有一些條狀物 la la la something with string 我現(xiàn)在好多了 im all better now. 我?guī)蜕厦?i helped. 瞧，這也許對你來講是最好的 知道嗎？ look, this is probably for the best, you know? 獨(dú)立了，把握自己的生活

19、 independence. taking control of your life. 還有，你還需要什么 你可以隨時來找喬伊 and, hey, if you need anything, you can always come to joey. 我和錢德就住在對面 而且他經(jīng)常不在 me and chandler live right across the hall. and hes away a lot. 喬伊，不要再對她放電了 今天是她結(jié)婚的日子！ joey, stop hitting on her. its her wedding day. 怎么啦，難道這還有什么規(guī)定嗎？ what?

20、like theres a rule or something? 請不要再按了 那是很恐怖的聲音 please dont do that again. its a horrible sound. 我是保羅 讓他進(jìn)來！ uh, its paul. buzz him in. 誰是保羅？ 保羅，紅酒達(dá)人，保羅？ whos paul? paul, the wine guy, paul? 也許 maybe. 等等，你今晚的不是真正約會 是和紅酒達(dá)人保羅？ wait a minute. your not a real date is with paul, the wine guy? 他終于約你出去啦？ 是

21、的！ he finally asked you out? yes. 真是個可以寫入日記的時刻 ooh. this is a dear diary moment. 瑞秋，等等，我可以取消 rach, wait, i can cancel. 不用 你去吧，我不會有事的！ please, no. go, ill be fine. 羅斯，你沒事吧？ 你希望我留下來嗎？ ross, are you okay? i mean, do you want me to stay? 能留下就太好了 thatd be good. 真的？ 不，去吧！那可是紅酒達(dá)人保羅耶！ really? no, go on! its

22、 paul, the wine guy. 進(jìn)來，保羅，這是 hi, come in. paul, this is. 大家 各位，這是保羅 .everybody. everybody, this is paul. 保羅！紅酒達(dá)人！ paul, the wine guy. 紅酒達(dá)人！ 我沒聽清楚你的名字，是保羅嗎？ wine guy. i didnt catch your name. paul, was it? 請坐，兩秒鐘就好 好 okay. sit down. two seconds. okay. 我剛拔掉四根睫毛不是個好兆頭 ooh, i just pulled out four eyela

23、shes. that cant be good. 那么瑞秋，你今晚打算做什么？ so, rachel, what are you up to tonight? 我本來應(yīng)該到阿魯巴度蜜月 well, i was supposed to be headed for aruba on my honeymoon. 所以，沒事做！ .so, nothing. 對呀，你連蜜月都無法去 right. youre not even getting your honeymoon. 不過，阿魯巴，這個時候？ god. no, no. although, aruba. heh. this time of year?

24、 eh. 你可以談?wù)撘幌?talk about your. 大蜥蜴 .big lizards. 總之 如果今晚你不想自己一個人的話 anyway, if you dont feel like being alone tonight. 喬伊和錢德要過來 幫我組裝我的新家具 .joey and chandler are helping me with my furniture. 對，而且我們?yōu)榇烁械脚d奮 yes, and were very excited about it. 謝謝了，不過我想今晚 還是留在這里吧 actually, thanks, but im just gonna hang o

25、ut here tonight. 今天真是漫長的一天 是呀，好吧 its been a long day. oh, sure. okay. sure. 菲比，你要來幫忙嗎？ hey, pheebs, you wanna help? 噢，我希望我能，但是我不想 oh, i wish i could, but i dont want to. 我應(yīng)該把支架固定在側(cè)面 im supposed to attach a bracket-y thing to the side things. 用螺紋蝸輪 .using a bunch of these little worm guys. 我沒有支架，沒有看到

26、螺紋蝸輪 i have no bracket-y thing, i see no worm guys whatsoever. 而且我的腿麻了 .and i cannot feel my legs. 這是什么？ whats this? 我不知道 i have no idea. 搞定書架了！ 完工了！ done with the bookcase. all finished. 這是卡蘿最喜歡的啤酒 this was carols favorite beer. 她總是直接從罐子喝，我該知道的 she always drank it out of the can. i should have know

27、n. 羅斯，我來問你一個問題 hey. ross, let me ask you a question. 她得到家具、音響、超贊的電視 she got the furniture, the stereo, the good tv. 那你得到了什么？ what did you get? 你們啊 you guys. 天呀 你被耍了 oh, god. oh, my god. you got screwed. 我的老天！ 我知道，我真是個笨蛋 oh, my god. i know, i know. im such an idiot. 當(dāng)她一個禮拜見四、五次牙醫(yī) 我就該知道了 i shouldve ca

28、ught on when she went to the dentist four and five times a week. 誰的牙齒需要這么干凈？ i mean, how clean can teeth get? 我哥哥正在克服這種事呢 他真是一團(tuán)糟 my brothers going through that. hes such a mess. 你是怎么克服的？ how did you get through it? 他可以試著砸爛她的一些貴重的東西 he might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers. 比如她的

29、腿？ say her. leg? 那樣也可以！ heh. thats one way of going through it, yeah. 我則是砸了她的手表 me, i went for the watch. 你真的砸了她的手表？ you actually broke her watch? mm. 巴瑞，對不起，對不起 barry, im sorry. i am so sorry. 我知道你可能認(rèn)為和那天我對你說 跟你穿襪子做愛有關(guān)，但不是的 you probably think its about making love with your socks on, but it isnt. 這

30、和我有關(guān)，我只是 it isnt, its about me. and i. 嘿，機(jī)器又把電話掛斷了 不管怎樣 hi. machine cut me off again. anyway. 知道什么最嚇人的嗎？ 如果每個人只有一個女人適合他呢？ you know whats scary? what if theres only one woman for everybody? 我是說 如果你得到一個女人，就這樣 i mean, what if you get one woman, and thats it? 不幸的是，以我的例子來講 是她得到一個女人 unfortunately, in my c

31、ase, there was only one woman for her. 你在說什么？ 一個女人？ what are you talking about? one woman. 那就好像你只吃一種口味的冰淇淋 thats like saying theres only one flavor of ice cream for you. 讓我告訴你，羅斯 還有很多種口味 let me tell you something, ross. theres lots of flavors out there. 有碎糖口味、餅干口味 然后還有香草口味 theres rocky road and cook

32、ie dough and bing cherry vanilla. 還可以加糖條、果仁 或者鮮奶油一起吃！ you can get them with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream. 這是你一生中最棒的時刻了！ this is the best thing that ever happened to you. 你難道是八歲結(jié)婚的？ you got married. you were like, what, 8? 歡迎回到現(xiàn)實(shí)里！拿起湯匙！ welcome back to the world. grab a spoon. 我真不知道我是餓了 還是饑渴 i ho

33、nestly dont know if im hungry or horny. 離我的冰箱遠(yuǎn)點(diǎn)！ then stay out of my freezer. 從她離開我之后，我 ever since she walked out on me, i. 怎么啦？ what? what? 你想邊吃面條邊講出來？ you wanna spell it out with noodles? 不，這本該在和你 第五次約會時才能說出來的 no, its more of a fifth date kind of revelation. 噢，所以會有第五次約會羅？ oh, so theres gonna be a

34、fifth date? 會有嗎？ isnt there? 我覺得會有 yeah, yeah. i think there is. 你要說什么？ what were you gonna say? 好吧 well. er, uh. 自從她離開我之后 ever since she left me, um. 我就一直 .i havent been able to perform. 無法行房 .sexually. 天啊，對不起 oh, god! oh, god! i am so. 對不起 沒關(guān)系 im so sorry. its okay. 被人吐水應(yīng)該不是你現(xiàn)在需要的 being spit on is

35、 probably not what you need right now. 唔 um. 多久了？ how long? 兩年 two years. 哇！ wow! 我真高興你砸了她的手表！ im glad you smashed her watch. 那你還希望有第五次約會嗎？ so you still think you might want that fifth date? 是的 yeah. 是的，我希望 yeah, i do. 我喬安妮接受查理斯為我的合法丈夫 i, joanie, take you, charles, as my lawful husband. 你是否接受喬安妮 看吧

36、do you take joanie.? oh! see. 可是喬安妮愛佳奇！就是這里不同！ but joanie loved chachi. thats the difference. 拿起湯匙 grab a spoon. 你知道我多久沒拿湯匙了嗎？ do you know long its been since i grabbed a spoon? 比利，別逞英雄 這句話對你有沒有意義？ do the words, billy, dont be a hero, mean anything to you? 是這樣的，就算我想 you know, heres the thing. even if i could get it together enough. 約一個女人出來 .to ask a woman out. 我該約誰？ .who am i gonna ask? 是不是很不可思議？ isnt this amazing? 我以前從來沒泡過咖啡 i mean, i have never made coffee before in my life. 是很不可思議 恭喜你 that is amazing. congratulations. 你現(xiàn)在剛好有心情 有沒有想做個蛋餅之類的東西 while youre on a roll, if you