CONTENTS01Sentenceconciseness02Sentenceemphasis03SentencevarietyAreTheseSentencesConcise?Withregardtothefactthatourenvironmentispolluted,membersofCongressshoulddraftandconsequentlyenactlawsthatprohibitpollutioninournation.Inmypinion,Ithinkyouareagoodstudent.1.SentenceConcisenessnounnecessarywordsWaystoachieveconciseness—eliminateunnecessarywords—avoidunnecessaryrepetition—reduceclausestoparticiples,phrasestosinglewords(1)EliminatingunnecessarywordsTherearemanyfactorsthatinfluencedhisdecisiontobecomeateacher.(deadwood:takingupspaceandaddnothingtomeaning)Revised:Manyfactorsinfluencedhisdecisiontobecomeateacher.2.Theregistrationsituationwasdisorganized.(utilitywords:actingasafillerandcontributingnothingtothemeaning;factor,situation,aspect,good,

bad,important,actually,very,definitely)Revised:

Theregistrationwasdisorganized.3.OneofmyclosepersonalfriendswholivesinthecityofNewYorkatthepresenttimeisunderconsiderationmovinghisresidencetoChicagoforthereasonthathehasbeenofferedapositioninthatmetropolis.(circumlocution:takingaroundaboutwaytosaysomething)Revised:OneofmyfriendsinNewYorkisconsideringmovingtoChicagobecausehehasbeenofferedajobthere.

WordyConciseAtthepresenttimeNowAtthispointintimeNowDuetothefactthatBecauseIntheeventthatIfInthevicinityofNearv4.Itisimportanttolearnthetruefactsbeforewego.Revised:

Itisimportanttolearnthefactsbeforewego.

5.Dr.Schiemdhascuredmanypatients.JackwasoneofDr.Schiemd’smostchallengingcases.

Revised:Dr.Schiemdhascuredmanypatients.Jackwasoneofhismostchallengingcases.(2)Eliminatingunnecessaryrepetition6.Hespokeinaconfidentmannerandwithalotofauthority.(3)Reducingclausestoparticiples,phrasestosinglewords,orchangesentencestructures6.Hespokeinaconfidentmannerandwithalotofhappiness.

Revised:

Hespokeconfidentlyandhappily.7.Sometimesthereisanaccumulationofwaterontheroof.

Revised:Sometimeswateraccumulatesontheroof.Turntopage117andfinishthepracticeinclass.2.SentenceEmphasisEmphasisisareflectionofpurposes.Effectivesentencesemphasizethemainideas,makingthemforceful,andkeepingrelatedbutlessimportantideasinthebackground.WaystoAchieveEmphasis—a.emphasisthroughwordorder—b.emphasisthroughsentencestructure—c.emphasisthroughchoiceofwords—d.emphasisthroughpunctuationmarksEmphasisthroughwordorder8.Amy

ismodestandhardworkingandisagoodstudent.(Beginningwithimportantideas)

Revised:Modestandhardworking,Amy

isagoodstudent.9.Thereis(Weakeningthesentence)aheavyemphasisonthedevelopmentofcomputationalskillsatMIT.(Endingwithimportantideas)

Revised:MITplacesheavyemphasisonthedevelopmentofcomputationalskills.ONPICTURE10.Readingcanbringyouknowledge,friendsandarichlife.11.Bingedrinkingcanleadtounwantedpregnancies,caraccidentsandevendeath.Climacticwordorder:fromtheleasttothemostimportantusi(b)Emphasisthroughsentencestructure12.Inrushedthenoisychildren.(Usinginvertedsentences)13.Childasheis,hespeaksfourlanguages.Unusualwordorderdrawsreaders’attention.14.Sheholdsmeinstrongarms,armsthathavechoppedcotton,dismemberedtrees,scatteredcornforchickens,cradledinfants,shakenthedaylightsoutofhalf-grownupstartteenagers.(Usingloosesentence)Loosesentencesbeginwithanindependentclause,followingbyadditionalwords,phrases,orclausesthatexpandordevelopit.15.Columbus,afterseveraldiscouragingandunsuccessfulvoyages,finallyreachedAmerica.(Usingperiodicsentences)16.JohnboughtabunchofrosesforJanelastFriday.(Usingcleftorpseudo-cleftsentences)Cleftsentence:ItwasJohnwhoboughtabunchofrosesforJanelastFriday.ItwasabunchofrosesthatJohnboughtforJanelastFriday.ItwasforJanethatJohnboughtabunchofroseslastFriday.ItwaslastFridaythatJohnboughtabunchofrosesforJane.Pseudo-cleftsentence:WhatJohnboughtforJanewasabunchofroseslastFriday.Using

negative-positive

statementsThey

first

points

out

what

is

not

the

truth,

and

then

what

is.

The

contrast

makes

them

emphatic.

17.

There

were

so

many

errors

in

the

performance

that

the

result

was

not

a

tragedy,

but

a

comedy.Usingbalancedsentences:

parallelstructures18.Inthe1950s,theelectronicmiraclewasthetelevision;inthe1980s,theelectronicmiraclewasthecomputer.Usingrhetoricalquestion19.Youcallthatagoodplay.Whatisgoodaboutit?20.Didn’tItellyouthatyoumustn’ttouchthismachine?UsingsubordinationDependentclause:aminorideaIndependentclause:aprominentideaREVIEW:SentenceStructureUsinginvertedsentencesUsingloosesentencesUsingperiodicsentencesUsingbalancedsentencesUsingcleftorpseudo-cleftsentencesUsingnegative-positivestatementsUsingrhetoricalquestionsUsingsubordination(c)EmphasisThroughChoiceofWordsUsingrepetitionwordsUsingverbs

ratherthannounsUsingemphatic

wordsandphrases(onearth/very…)(d)EmphasisThroughPunctuationMarks—:!Turntopage123andfinishthepracticeinclass.3.SentenceVariety

thelengthandstructure

WaystoachievevarietyVaryingsentencelengthCombiningsentencesbycoordinatingandsubordinatingUsingvariedsentencetypesVaryingsent